Title & Chapter Number: Elencálë (The Light of the Elves) 26/?
Author(s): - Author's Index
Fandom: Middle Earth/Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
Rating: NC-17 Romance/Adventure
Disclaimer:
Warnings:
Betas: Thanks to Maisha for the Beta.
Cast: Legolas/Shu Lien
Timeline: AU - Post RotK
Spoilers: None
Summary: This story takes place about 100 years after the quest of the One Ring. Even after the fall of Sauron, the foul breath of evil can still be felt on the winds of Middle Earth. Some say it is just the nature of the world, the shadow of the light. Some say it is rising and has once again become sentient. King Elessar rules with a just and even hand, but Men throughout the land are falling into darkness, succumbing to greed, hatred and violence among themselves and against the world. The Light of the Elves departs as the Eldar continue to withdraw to the West, leaving darkness in their wake.
Notes: Elves do not close their eyes during Reverie. While I have updated the sexual culture of the Eldar to reflect more modern values (and indeed the fact that I feel that such sensual and advanced beings would revel in such a pass time and consider it natural and pure), the concept that Elves can tell if other Elves have had sex actually is Tolkien's.
Chapter 25
Never let it be said that I don't spend as much time with my closure as I do with my angst. Get prepared for several more chaps of figuring, loving, emerging and simply mush, mush, mush. However I admonish you to remember that "your joy is simply your sorrow, unmasked"... unfortunately we shall bear witness to yet another turn of the wheel of fate before this tale is told.
* from The Prophet, "Love," by Kahlil Gibran
meldanya: My love
Shu Lien choked and shook her head slowly from side to side trying to avoid the cup forced to her lips. Finally strong hands pinched her cheeks, forcefully holding her mouth puckered and a cool bitter beverage was poured down her throat. She swallowed and coughed and tried to shake her head, and was lowered back down to a soft pillow.
As if emerging from a very intense dream, her body began to become aware of her surroundings in pieces. Light seeped through her eyelids. The song of birds and rushing water. She was lying in soft, fine sheets. Voices were murmuring words she couldn't quite understand.
She squeezed her eyes shut and then opened them. The light was blinding. Blinking slowly, repeatedly, the ceiling of a room that had the soft, yellow light of morning streaming through its airy heights materialized before her. Shu Lien's eyes wandered blindly, not really able to focus until they came across an Elf sitting beside her. He was dignified and poised, with hair as black as night and features that mimicked those of Elrohir's but that told many more stories of sorrow and joy.
"The birds this morning sing their welcome to both you and the rising sun. You are in Rivendell, Shu Lien. I am Elrond." He spoke to her gently, softly in Quenya. As the edges of her mind began to clear, it all came back and her face crumpled into a despairing and desolate sorrow. As if she had never stopped crying, her eyes immediately brimmed with tears and her breath drew in a shaky sob. She had not wanted to awaken.
Elrond's face immediately melted into one of deep compassion and concern. "There now, all is well, child." He placed his hand on her arm, looking suddenly just beyond her.
Before he could say any more, a rustle of sheets heralded a warm hand reaching to her cheek . It clumsily rubbed the wetness trailing there. Shu Lien turned her head quickly and came almost face to face with Legolas lying beside her, his golden hair strewn across the pillow and mixing with hers like morning in midnight. He smiled weakly, groggily, his black eyes washing over her.
With a cry, Shu Lien sat up as quickly as she could and brought her shaking hand to his cheek, pressing her lips to his and continuing to weep against his mouth. Unable to hold herself up in her weakness, she fell down into his neck where she buried her face, her tears continuing to spill.
Legolas' hand came behind her head and he held her to him, closing his eyes.
Her tears finally subsiding, Shu Lien pulled away from his neck to look at him again, leaving her cheek on the pillow encased in their hair. Her fingers came up to trace his gaunt face until his hand grasped hers limply and brought it to his lips before it fell back heavily to his chest, bringing hers with it.
"I thought you'd left me." Shu Lien finally tried out her voice and found it hoarse and soft, but audible.
"Forgive me, meldanya." He returned, his voice a mere whisper.
"Oh Legolas." Shu Lien closed her eyes briefly in the overwhelming emotion as the tears welled yet again. She then opened them quickly -afraid to look away lest he disappear - and turned her hand into his, grasping it tightly. Legolas squeezed both hands, and she realized her other hand was held by his also under the sheets.
Their eyes caressed each other with tender gazes for several breaths, until slowly Legolas' lids began to droop as he slipped back into restorative slumber even as he fought to remain in the waking world. Shu Lien disengaged her hand and brought it to his cheek, stroking it soothingly as he finally lost the fight and his eyes closed once again. She watched his slow, even breathing, waiting to see if his eyes would open again. They did not.
Finally remembering Lord Elrond she turned to find him having discreetly turned in his seat. He was speaking in a low, hushed voice with Falmalinnar who caught Shu Lien's gaze and stepped forward. Elrond turned around with a gentle and genuine smile on his face, moving his chair slightly to make room for her mentor.
"How can this be?" Shu Lien asked in quiet disbelief, searching Falmalinnar's eyes. Leaning forward, his hand smoothed her hair away and he kissed her forehead.
"Hush daughter. First you must eat. Lord Elrond has awakened you because even with the power of the ring, your body can sustain itself no longer. You need food." Easily sliding her up to a half-sitting position, he took the cup of juice that Elrond handed him. "Drink," he commanded softly.
Shu Lien brought her hands around the cup, but she found they shook too much to get the juice to her lips. Falmalinnar's hand returned to steady it and she drank, in small sips, for several silent minutes.
When the small cup was emptied he took it away, but Shu Lien's eyes stayed locked on the ring that was on her index finger of her left hand. It glowed gently and her other hand reached up to touch it in awe. Coming to her senses, she began to try to pull it from her finger, looking over to Elrond. "I have brought you Elencálë, my lord."
His hand reached over to still hers as he shook his head. "The ring has chosen her guardian, Shu Lien. This is the destiny that has been laid before you."
Shu Lien's eyes widened a moment and then she closed them, stilling the plethora of questions that immediately rose in her mind. Now was not the time for such answers. In her heart she felt the rightness of his words and she let the rest fall away. Taking a deep breath she opened her eyes again to regard the Elvish Lord.
"Legolas is well? How is it that he lives?" Shu Lien asked with anxious wonder.
Elrond's voice was serene and resonant, dancing in the air like a bow being pulled across the deep strings of a musical instrument. "He is well. He may not awaken for some time, though. His body is nearly healed, but his spirit still recovers. His fea was pulled from its voyage to Mandos by your resuscitation." Pausing, he placed a very soft, white roll in her hand and, at his urging, she weakly brought it to her mouth.
She took a small bite and found it delicate and immediately restorative.
"The ring gave your mortal body the strength to sustain him through your bond until I could arrive with the antidote. And, with Elencale, your body has continued to aid in his healing. But he is well on the way to recovery and it is now time for you yourself to recuperate." He smiled as he nudged her hand back to her lips from where it had fallen as she had been listening intently. She took another bite of the roll and chewed, watching thoughtfully as Elrond stood and turned to the bottles of herbs strewn across the table and began to prepare a tincture.
Falmalinnar stepped forward again and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear affectionately as he sat beside her on the bed. Placing a hand over hers, his eyes swept over her face and he smiled. "Your questions will be answered soon, daughter."
Shu Lien relaxed under his loving hand and as she did she began to feel it. It was as if the edges of her mind were held in a gentle embrace. It was an odd sensation and she realized that she had first thought it merely the side effects of her grogginess. She was drawn to press against it.
Falmalinnar watched as, without warning, Shu Lien's eyes rolled back in her head and she gasped. He gripped her hand as he turned to the other Elf.
"Elrond!" He spoke urgently as he brought his hand to her cheek. It was then that he felt the light brush of hesitant fingers in his mind and he closed his eyes to shut out all else.
Shu Lien had emerged into a world of pure, experience. She saw, but not with her eyes, she felt, but not with her hands, however she heard nothing but the soft, complex heartbeat of the land.
Was it a dream? It had the ethereal quality of dreams, but yet it was completely different in its depth. Instinctively she stretched out and found that her slow, fluid movements made ripples that radiated from her in concentric circles, and she realized conversely that she was swaying with the gentle undulations of all the cause and effect around her. It was as if she could physically feel the inherent, infinite connection to all things.
Too much! Her chest was constricting in her overwhelm and she began to flail blindly, desperately, as if she were drowning. Brushing against something familiar, she peered through the kaleidoscope of sensation and found Falmalinnar's essence. Reaching out a finger to touch his ghostly form, she found him warm and she desperately grabbed him, burying herself in his comforting familiarity as he enfolded her in reassurance.
As her terror subsided, she began to appreciate the radiant being before her. She had seen his soul in his eyes, but to touch it was awesome... and humbling. For the first time she understood his great age, the depth of his strength, the valor of his character, the magnificence of his Light. Drawing back in awe, she looked deeply into his eyes with the innocence and wonder of a child. He returned her gaze openly and she saw in the deep jade of his being the profound pain, cast like a cold shadow across his soul.
Without hesitation she reached out to embrace it, feeling the shame, confusion, anger, regret, and she let her soul join in the low, aching lament of his suffering. Intuitively she offered the light of her unconditional acceptance, empathy and love: soothing, releasing, validating. Drawing back again from where her cheek was pressed to his heart, their gazes met in a soulful intimacy that reverberated around them.
She smiled with childlike delight at the magnificence of this experience and then, placing a kiss on his chin, allowed her gaze to be drawn to the wonder around her. She could feel every bird, every tree, the nature of the stalwart stone, the molding hands of the ethereal winds, the harmony in the song of existence. Rising up into the world, she ignored Falmalinnar's anxious tug on her being in her rapture.
Her movement was halted abruptly, and she turned to find Elrond holding her fast. With the unconcerned, impersonal acceptance of this dreamlike world, she was immediately distracted by the brightness of his spirit and she reached an innocent, enchanted hand out to lightly explore the texture of his being while he patiently submitted.
She gasped at the sensation of the contact. He had been so deeply carved out by the knife of sorrow that she could scarcely bear its witness, but yet the breath of love blew soothingly through his hollows with the exquisite and pure sound of joy. He had embraced them both, and he was empty... balanced... free. So achingly beautiful. She now understood the words that Elencale had spoken to her repeatedly: "Even as I crown you, so shall I crucify you. Even as I am for your growth, so am I for your pruning.*"
The joy and sorrow of unconditional acceptance. Love.
A soft slap against her cheek found her eyes popping open. Elrond's face was before hers and she looked deeply into each of his eyes as her disorientation faded and she returned to the physical world.
A private, knowing smile played on his lips, which reminded her so very much of Elrohir. "Stay with us for now, Shu Lien. You do not have the energy at present; it requires great focus to use a ring of power without losing one's self."
He turned around and brought back an herbal tincture and placed it in her hand. She drank it, grimacing and shuddering involuntarily. Falmalinnar chuckled from where he still sat on the bed.
Shaking off the bitter taste of the draught, Shu Lien then smiled and let her gaze wash over his features, ending deeply in his eyes. They were liquid with tears that were too proud to spill. An expression of light concern knitted Shu Lien's brow and her hand brought his to her lips.
A smile softened Falmalinnar's face and he leaned over close to her ear and whispered, "Daughter, you heal my heart with your love."
~*~*~*~
Never let it be said that I don't spend as much time with my closure as I do with my angst. Get prepared for several more chaps of figuring, loving, emerging and simply mush, mush, mush. However I admonish you to remember that "your joy is simply your sorrow, unmasked"... unfortunately we shall bear witness to yet another turn of the wheel of fate before this tale is told.
Reminder: Elves traditionally exchange silver rings as a token of their intention to be formally bound.
Ana, this one is dedicated to you. *grin*
~*~*~*~
Elrohir's Interlude
(this scene happens chronologically before the previous)
Ana.. .this one is for you! *grin*
~*~*~*~
Elrohir walked through the extensive terraced and cultivated grounds toward the Medicinal Gardens on the upper levels of the hillside. He had successfully submerged his soul-felt terror and anxiety behind the veneer of confident ease exuded by a prince strolling through his gardens in the falling dusk. However, if anyone had paid attention, his nerves were evident in the way his hand fingered the silver rings through the pouch at his belt. In his other hand, he carried both a sprig of fragrant lilac blossoms and the wrapped, dried flower Shu Lien had found on their trip.
He had returned from bringing Legolas and Shu Lien back almost a week ago, but he had avoided Elerrina Tinůviel completely - other than seeing her from his father`s table in the dining hall. He knew he was being childish and cowardly by his reticence, but he was struggling through the waves of terror, vainly hoping they would subside, and in doing so found any number of excuses to not approach her.
He had not left her on the best of terms those two years ago. He was honest with himself in admitting that he had traveled to spend time with his sister, Arwen, in order to flee his confusing feelings and, thus, essentially Elerrina herself. And he thought she had probably realized this as well. He had left her.
He had had every intention of using his return as a convenient point at which to officially terminate their relationship, but over the course of the journey he had had to come to terms with the fact that life was dull and gray without her, and that he missed her deeply as he had missed no other. Much to his own chagrin, he had had to admit that he was in love. Watching Legolas and Shu Lien in their angst-ridden dance of suppression and denial had made him realize that he did not want to make the same mistakes. But still his heart trembled and doubted, desperately trying to maintain its defenses.
Part of him had also wanted to speak to Shu Lien before attempting what he had in mind. He always felt comfortable around her unassuming presence and she was the only person he trusted not to make his unease unbearable through teasing. However she still hadn't awakened.
And now, he could avoid Elerinna no longer. It was becoming beyond obvious, and his brother was already making asinine comments, which never boded well.
His father had even communicated his displeasure, in his subtle but unambiguous way, that Elrohir was being unforgivably rude to his personal apprentice. Elrond had not been pleased in the first place, all those years ago, that Elrohir had chosen Elerrina as his "next victim," as his father had put it. Elrond enjoyed her pleasant, unpretentious and sincere personality and he genuinely liked her in addition to finding her a most gifted, astute and serious student.
Elrohir found Elerrina kneeling at a bed of herbs, with several small seedlings in a tray before her which she was transplanting. Yet unnoticed, he leaned suavely against a young tree a ways away, and watched her as she worked. Her hands were devoted and loving as she tended the plants, digging into the soil with a reverent attention, placing the plant into the bed, and then tenderly covering the roots with the sweet, dark soil. She hummed softly as she worked, examining a bud here and there, pinching off a withering leaf.
Elrohir felt the warm moist breath of his silent sigh rise to his cheeks. He was always taken with how beautiful he found her to be. Her features mimicked her gentle soulfulness and at the same time reflected both her Rivendell and Lothlorien heritage. Large, wide-set, light hazel eyes peered brightly from under a delicate brow and the irises were ringed with a darker shade that made her gaze striking, yet warm. Her features were open and unusual: prominent cheekbones sloped to a wide, defined jaw which nested full lips that were usually held in an open, unassuming half-smile. Her brown hair was streaked with red and was, as usual, pulled completely back from her face in a long, practical braid, though wavy tendrils had escaped throughout the day to dance about her face. She exuded an energy that was organic, genial, grounded and real.
The last Elf working in the gardens at this late hour came up to her with a slight bow, and a plotted plant in hand on his way to leave. Elrohir watched as Elerrina smiled and stood, wiping her brow with the back of her hand and endearingly smearing a brown smudge of earth across her temple. Brushing her hands off absently on her leggings, she looked into the eyes of the Elf as he explained something earnestly. Nodding, she bowed her head as she examined the plant in question with gentle fingers, turning over the leaves. Satisfied with her assessment, she placed her hand on the other's shoulder as she spoke with a reassuring smile. The other Elf grinned and nodded, bowing slightly before withdrawing. She smiled after him and then turned, kneeling again to return to her plants.
As her gaze swept the garden absently, it suddenly locked on Elrohir. Her face, as always, openly reflected her feelings, and it registered a divergent mix of surprise, pleasure and anguish. Elrohir painted on a charming grin as he raised his eyebrows and closed the distance between them.
He held out the lilac to her. "How is it that the fairest flower in all of Rivendell is always cosseted away in the upper gardens?"
She barely smiled as she took the sprig and brought it absently to her nose. "Elrohir," she said simply, letting her hand drop to her side and regarding him a moment. "It has been a long time." Her voice was quiet.
The pain that Elrohir saw deep within her eyes made his chest constrict without warning. Suddenly he was struck by the poignant realization that she might not be pleased that her prince charming had returned to grace her with another winning smile. This time, he might have gone too far.
Quickly regaining his external composure he grinned mischievously, "Did you miss me?" He switched the dried, cloth-wrapped plant to his other hand in his unease.
She sniffed, her eyes dipping to the ground. "If I say yes, then I will have to endure that gloating, satisfied expression of yours." Elrohir cocked an eyebrow. Her voiced dropped. "If I say no, then I would be lying. I think I will preserve the last shred of my dignity and simply ask what brings you here to the upper gardens at this hour?"
"Well it is the best place in all of Rivendell to watch the sunset, and, of course, the only place to bask in the beauty of the first star to glow in the delicate dusk." He winked and sat down with a small exhale and then leaned back in the grass, hands going behind his head and ankles crossing indolently as he looked up to the rosy sky.
Elerrina looked down at him a moment, her eyes running over his face. Even after being essentially abandoned, the sight of him still brought a glowing warmth to her chest. She saw in him all of his intricacies and depth and she loved him dearly. But that was not enough. She closed her eyes briefly to focus on the reality of the situation. "You have been back for days, Elrohir...with not even a word. Why now?"
"Forgive me, Elli. My father has been keeping me busy, Elladan has been his usual troublesome self, and now there is my niece... Oh, the tedium a prince must endure!" He sighed dramatically retreating to lightness in the face of his acute uncomfortability. "So how have you been? My father says that you continue to amaze him with all that you can make grow in Rivendell soil. He is particularly pleased with the fresh Chaparral he now has at his disposal. He credits its quality with the effectiveness of the antidote used on Legolas."
Elerrina shifted and looked down as she absently repositioned the trowel to her side. "Your father is an excellent tutor. The garden is growing well, yes." She spoke distractedly, evasively, as she brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them loosely. "From what I have heard, your last two years ended in unexpected trial. Was it enjoyable before that?"
Turning over to his side and propping his cheek in his hand, Elrohir fiddled idly with the ties on the parcel before him. "My sister, Elessar, the children... they are all doing well. It was wonderful to spend time with them. It is always eventful to travel with Legolas and Gimli, as you know! And Shu Lien was a pleasant addition. In fact, I am eagerly anticipating her awakening. I want you two to meet: I think you will like her." Pulling on the strings, he unwrapped the parcel as he spoke. "Oh, Shu Lien found this plant in Mirkwood. I have never seen its like, but told her that surely you would know what it is called." He held out the crumpled, dried plant to her.
Elerrina took it gently, not really seeing it, and then placed it back on the cloth. She was silent for a long moment as Elrohir looked on expectantly.
Taking a deep breath she said, "I can't do this."
Elrohir held on to the last vestiges of avoidance valiantly. "Do what? You can't identify the flower? Have I finally stumped you?!" He knew full well what she meant and was trying to breathe through the sinking feeling in his stomach.
Elerrina didn't even acknowledge his wretched attempt at humor. The green flecks in her large, round eyes seemed to dance as she met his gaze. "I can't do this, Elrohir. I... I am a fool. My friends warned me about you. I..." She bowed her head, trying maintain her composure.
"So my reputation precedes me!" He laughed softly. "What did they say... your friends?" He simply could not capitulate to his heart! Still, he stubbornly tried to maintain the illusion of confident indifference.
Looking up again with her evident sorrow, she spoke plainly, as she always did. "That you would break my heart."
Elrohir's breath caught in his throat and he closed his eyes. Seeing her large eyes courageously trying to contain the welling tears....hearing those earnest and agonized words spill from her lips...it made his gentle heart wrench unbearably and finally he yielded. He felt his inner core trying to process how he could live with himself for being the cause of her suffering and then trying to sidestep such liability with nonchalance. Why, indeed, had such a gentle soul put up with him? He was ashamed.
Opening his eyes again he saw that her head was bowed and she was sniffing softly, trying to suppress her grief. Reaching out a finger, he gently lifted her chin and captured her gaze with his. "Elli... I am sorry." His voice was merely a whisper.
She shook her head. "No... I understand... really I do. I see you, Elrohir. I see all of you... your grief, your fear. You are not what you profess to be. I know you do not mean to cause me pain. But I am a fool to gamble with my heart. I just thought... I just thought.. . maybe I... maybe you..." She shook her head, unable to complete her thought. "Yet truthfully, it was worth the risk. You are worth the risk..." She attempted a weak smile and Elrohir picked himself up off the ground to kneel before her, looking into her sorrowful eyes, trying to find some orientation in his agonizing worry, anxiety and upset.
"But, I'm sorry. I can't do it anymore, Elrohir. It just hurts too much," her voice was hushed and hollow while her gaze dropped again to her lap. A single tear broke free and traveled lazily down her cheek.
Elrohir watched it in detached fascination, trying to break free from the strangling hold of fear and disassociation, frantically willing his heart to speak. Reaching a finger out, he caught the drop and rubbed it between his thumb and forefinger almost absently.
The wetness, the reality of her pain, struck him as a blow across his face. It razed his defenses instantly with the impact and he gasped. Reaching out to her with both hands he cupped her jaw tenderly and brought her face up.
"I love you." He simply said in a voice that was as quiet as the soft breeze that played with the strands of hair around her face.
Elerrina's eyes widened and she looked incredulously to both of his grey eyes which were themselves growing liquid.
For the first time he could remember, Elrohir was at a loss for words. They stared at each other for several long moments. His heart was hammering in his chest.
"Say it again." Her voice was merely a breath as her eyes still darted back and forth between his.
Elrohir swallowed. "I love you, Elli."
Elerrina's face broke into the most beautiful, pure smile he had ever seen and Elrohir leaned over and kissed her soft, full lips soundly. "I love you." he whispered against her mouth, he pulled back to kiss her cheeks, "I love you," he kissed the smudge of soil on her temple. He continued placing light, loving kisses all over her face as he repeated his declaration like a prayer over and over. Elerrina`s tears spilled unfettered.
Pulling back he smiled and a tear of his own made its way down his cheek. She leaned over and kissed it away. "I love you so much, Elrohir. You rogue!"
He gave her a lopsided grin, in keeping with her endearment, and then sat back to open the pouch at his belt. Pulling out the elegant, but simple, matching silver rings inside, he opened her hand and placed them unceremoniously in her palm. Brow furrowed, she looked down at them and then back up to him, her eyes reflecting her astonishment. Elrohir chuckled.
"But do you love me enough to put up with me for your eternity? A daunting prospect indeed..." Cocking a suave eyebrow, he hid how pleased he was by her ecstatic shock and blatant joy.
She did not answer, but quickly took the largest of the two rings and grabbed his right hand and shoved it on his index finger. Letting out a breath of mock relief, she smiled. "Got you!"
Leaning forward to kiss her lips with his soulful delight, he murmured against them. "You have always had me." Pulling back, he took the remaining ring from her palm. Looking deeply into her eyes, he slowly slid it onto her finger and then leaned forward to taste the sweetness of her lips again.
"Damn you Elli. You have ruined my reputation!" He grinned, inches from her face.
"Mmmmm.... I have missed that reputation..." she whispered with a smile and then pressed her mouth to his ardently as she lay back, pulling his eager body down on top of hers.
The brilliant colors of a most glorious sunset faded from the sky unnoticed.
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