Title & Chapter Number: Elencálë (The Light of the Elves) 19/?
Author(s): - Author's Index
Fandom: Middle Earth/Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
Rating: NC-17 Romance/Adventure
Disclaimer:
Warnings:
Betas:
Cast: Legolas/Shu Lien
Timeline: AU - Post RotK
Spoilers: None
Summary: This story takes place about 100 years after the quest of the One Ring. Even after the fall of Sauron, the foul breath of evil can still be felt on the winds of Middle Earth. Some say it is just the nature of the world, the shadow of the light. Some say it is rising and has once again become sentient. King Elessar rules with a just and even hand, but Men throughout the land are falling into darkness, succumbing to greed, hatred and violence among themselves and against the world. The Light of the Elves departs as the Eldar continue to withdraw to the West, leaving darkness in their wake.
Notes: Elves do not close their eyes during Reverie. While I have updated the sexual culture of the Eldar to reflect more modern values (and indeed the fact that I feel that such sensual and advanced beings would revel in such a pass time and consider it natural and pure), the concept that Elves can tell if other Elves have had sex actually is Tolkien's.
Chapter 19
Reminder: Falmalinnar is Shu Lien's Elvish mentor from the Romanórë with whom she shares a special relationship.
vandelmat: My attempts at translating "chopsticks" into Quenya."Two horses approach. They ride hard," Legolas announced as he dropped silently from a tree he had climbed to try to get a better view in the dimness of dusk.
Their party had made good time over the last four days' travel since Mirkwood. They had now set up camp in the foothills of the Misty Mountains, just off the road. Shu Lien had just finished preparing dinner when the Elves had heard the sounds of hoof beats in the distance.
The party was already stowing supplies out of harm's way. Shu Lien crept silently, fluidly, to a hiding place on the other side of the road from where Legolas was already concealed. Gimli stayed with the horses while Elrohir lithely climbed a nearby tree, notching an arrow as they waited for those who approached. Very few took this road to Rivendell over the Misty Mountains, at this hour. Foul intentions were suspected. As the horses crested the hill down the road, the two strangers paused, one dismounting to touch the ground before he looked ahead. They were tracking. The other dismounted as well and the two walked their horses toward the covert party.
Legolas was surprised that both of the horses were bridleless, though only one of them was an Elf. And then he saw that the other human was of the same race as Shu Lien. He was very tall and had his head completely shaved in the front. Turning, he said something to the Elf that Legolas couldn't quite make out and he could see that the back half of his head was unshorn and was worn in a braid that fell far down his back. His clothes were foreign as well, a sort of long, white, collarless shift that hung down past his knees, side slits revealing more of the loose unbleached muslin pants underneath as he walked. He moved with the sinuous tension of a warrior, though lacked the same liquidity that graced Shu Lien's movements. Legolas glanced up at Elrohir who was already regarding him with a concerned expression. He had come to the same conclusion as well.
They had come for Shu Lien.
The dusk and distance prevented Shu Lien from seeing the details of those who approached and Legolas took the time to examine the Elf. His clothes were similar to those of Rivendell, the tunic slightly longer, the cut tailored and elegant. The jerkin was dyed to a subdued and dusky blue, as were the leggings. The soft leather of belt and boots was slate gray and the undertunic a lighter blue. Very tall, broad shouldered, and slightly more muscular than the usual Elf, he moved with a striking strength, an authority, a brawn that belied a most dangerous opponent. His hair was midnight black and hung halfway down his back, and his defined jaw was held with the unconscious pride of one who knows himself and therefore walks unafraid.
As they neared, Legolas stepped out from his hiding place. He did not raise his bow, but held it notched.
"State your intentions." Legolas said simply, in Common.
But before they could answer, Shu Lien had sprung from her hiding place and was jogging down the road toward them, a soft cry from her lips rising into the darkening sky. She stopped a few feet from the figures and dropped to her knees, falling into a bow to the ground, forehead inches off the dirt road. The man affected the same prostration, while the Elf bowed low, his hand touching his forehead before covering his heart. All three rose at the same time.
Shu Lien stared a moment at her Elvish mentor and her Mandärin friend, her breath stolen. "Be you only a whisper of dreams from the coming evening that have fallen from underneath my open eyelids, I cherish such an apparition." She breathed in Quenya
Finally Falmalinnar stepped forward and drew her to him rather uncharacteristically, his large hand holding her cheek to his muscular chest. "Daughter." He whispered into her hair, closing his eyes briefly. With tears in her eyes, Shu Lien breathed deeply of the musky scent of him that brought back memories of home .
Releasing her, he stepped back, moving his hands to her upper arms as his brilliant green eyes scanned her face. She always wondered how such a hardened, sculpted, stern face could hold such kind, sensitive eyes. His eyebrows knitted, perplexed, as he looked to each of her eyes over and over, finally raising a hand to wipe away a tear that trailed down her cheek. "What has happened to your eyes?" he asked softly.
Shu Lien dropped her gaze, closing them a moment before returning to his measuring gaze. "I am...changed. We shall speak at length after we have welcomed you with tea." She had not yet had the time to figure out what her relationship with Legolas meant to her identity and the path ahead. That easy acceptance in the throes of a new beginning had waned, and left her merely with confusion and questions. Now she would have to speak of her choices with those who would judge her. They would not understand. She knew she could not hide her joining from Falmalinnar, as it was the Elvish way to divine such a relationship among Elves, but she could not bring herself to speak of it at this moment.
With an accepting nod, his confusion still furrowing his brow, he released her. Shu Lien turned to her old friend and Mandärin peer. "Mu Bai. How is it that you have come down off your secret mountain to find me so far across the wilds of this land?" Shu Lien smiled warmly as she bowed, palms pressed together. She relished the Quenya that fell from her lips, her eyes washing over his sedate form with the affection born of many years. Both lifelong Mandärin, they had traveled as partners much of their adult lives. His focus had been on meditation while hers had been on physical training. He would go into seclusion, for months at a time, training his mind and polishing his soul. His composure always brought a soothing steadiness to her.
Returning her bow, he spoke softly, slowly, his eyes locking unflinchingly with the new blue of hers. "While sitting in deep meditation, the moon spoke to me with a silver voice. She told me to return to our home. There I found you departed on a most dire quest. Without me. I simply could not be contained." A ghost of a smile kissed his lips as his eyes sparkled. Shu Lien let a slow smile twist her lips, and she turned to fall into step with them as they headed down the road toward where the others had gathered, respectfully giving them their distance, though their words had still been audible to Elvish ears.
Shu Lien couldn't help the knot that grew in her stomach with each step. She was not ashamed of Legolas by any means, but knew she no longer walked within the obvious boundaries of honor and code. She had not had to face that reflection yet. She was afraid.
"Allow me to introduce Master Falmalinnar, weapons and combat Master and Vice-Regent of the Amaurëa." Shu Lien spoke the introduction in Common as she neared her friends. "This is Elrohir, son of Lord Elrond, Legolas, son of King Thranduil of Mirkwood, and Gimli, son of Gloin." Shu Lien introduced each as they paid their respects in turn.
She went on to introduce Li Mu Bai to the group in the same way.
But Falmalinnar did not hear her. When his eyes came to Legolas, they stopped abruptly. His jaw clenched and his soft jade eyes narrowed and grew measuring and cold like frost on morning grass.
Legolas met Falmalinnar's eyes evenly and then dropped his gaze as he bowed his head, touching his forehead and heart. When he raised his eyes again he was still pinned by that stark, steely gaze. Maintaining his composure was most difficult under this harsh, severe scrutiny. He felt physically relieved when those eyes broke their capture of his soul to sweep up and down his form.
Gimli was regarding the stranger measuringly himself, ready to spring to Legolas' verbal defense. This insolent Elf didn't know a blessing when he saw one. Shu Lien deserved the best for sure, but she had gotten it and he was annoyed that this was not obviously apparent to the foreigner.
Falmalinnar regained his composure and moved his gaze to the Dwarf. When his eyes met Gimli's, the Dwarf barely nodded, not breaking eye contact. Legolas shifted uncomfortably.
Mu Bai sensed the tension, but did not know from whence it came. With his usual patience, he did not speculate, but regarded the three with a dispassionate expression, bowing to each in turn as he was introduced.
Falmalinnar's eyes caught Shu Lien's and he held them a moment intensely, before she dropped them, a slight blush at not having had the courage to tell him of her bonding rising to her cheeks.
He took it to be shame and his gaze snapped back to Legolas with emerald ferocity.
Legolas endeavored to keep his expression unflustered and did not flinch, but his hands curled tightly into fists of their own accord
Placing a light hand on Falmalinnar's arm, Shu Lien broke the brutal tension. "I owe my life to Legolas on many accounts. The others have all fallen. I am the last..." She whispered in Quenya, the tears rising in her voice. Tearing his gaze from Legolas at the sound of her profound grief, Falmalinnar looked down at her with compassion, placing a tender hand on her shoulder that belied the strength in the solid arm.
Watching the complex and intense interplay among the group, Elrohir chose that moment to speak up in Common with his penchant for graceful cordiality. "Come, join us, honored guests. If your approach was any indication, you have traveled hard and must long for food and rest as we do. Being at the foot of the Misty Mountains may bring trouble to our campfire before the sun has again risen. We must be ready."
The two guests nodded in agreement, but Falmalinnar didn't remove his hand from Shu Lien's shoulder as they walked to the camp.
Legolas, Elrohir and Gimli politely went about setting up camp and tending their guests' horses, while those of the Romanórë sat together at the fire. They spoke in whispered Quenya. Shu Lien told them of her journey through Mordor and the meeting of her current companions. She spoke through streaming tears, bringing back the memories with biting anguish. The two listened with attentive concern and caring. When her words drowned in her sorrow, she dropped her head into her hands, tears squeezing from between her fingers as she silently sobbed, embarrassed by her lack of composure. Mu Bai placed a gentle hand on her back from where he sat beside her.
Falmalinnar had been listening with rapt attention, but his eye never strayed far from Legolas. Legolas' carriage told of a skilled and gifted warrior, and it appeared that he had been training with Shu Lien, for his movements reflected some of the organic pliancy that was the Mandärin Way. He watched him carefully as he stole furtive, concerned glances toward his grieving mate, his hands moving absently about his work, oblivious to Falmalinnar's scrutiny, completely unconscious of anything but her sorrow. It was clear that he wanted desperately to go to her, but did not want to make the situation any more awkward for her than it was. Falmalinnar began to relax slightly. The situation was not as he had first feared, for the Elf was obviously very much in love.
After long moments of silence, allowing Mu Bai's slowly moving hand, the crackling fire, and rustles of the settling camp to soothe her grief, Shu Lien's sorrow drained into the black of the night. Taking a deep breath she stilled herself, going within.
"Shu Lien. Our hearts will never truly heal from such loss." Mu Bai spoke to her softly, with the intimacy of long-standing friendship. "Release your grief, but do not return to that dark place. Your breath rises and falls, the glow of the fire warms your cheeks, the crickets call to you to remember that you reside in the present. There was naught that you could do...your duty lies in your charge. You have succeeded where most would have failed." Shu Lien took several deep breaths, and then wiped her face with the bottom of her tunic, before raising her eyes to his. A sad smile softened the anguish held in her eyes.
Falmalinnar watched the two humans before him, allowing his mind to wander over the situation in which Shu Lien had found herself. She was the most dedicated, disciplined warrior he had trained in his many years, with gifted ability and a will to match. He had often times needed to ask her to be kinder to herself, for she was a brutal perfectionist. He wondered what changes had occurred in her to allow her to break her vows.
As his protective rage began to recede, he realized that were she another, he would have been suspicious that the Elf had taken advantage of her emotional vulnerability in such desperate times. He knew she did not have the experience to deal with these kinds of feelings, but he also trusted that she could take care of herself. What he wanted to know was how did she feel about this Elf? Had they merely joined, or were they bound? Where would she go from here? He noticed that she wore a necklace at her throat, where there had been none. Was this a symbol of a decision?
Falmalinnar was a gentle soul inside his tough and lethal body. And he loved Shu Lien deeply. As all the Amaurëa, he valued compassion and loving acceptance. He would not judge her decision, though he suspected that she was fearful that he would. He had been as a father to her and he was not blind to the fact that his words were one of the few things that could break through her barriers and pierce her heart. As long as this Elf was good enough for her, he only wanted what she felt was best. He would wait patiently until she could tell him exactly what that was.
He was drawn from his thoughts by Shu Lien's eyes turning to him. "So, Master, tell me what star has fallen in order to allow the Vice-Regent to abandon the Amaurëa on their voyage to Valinor."
"Daughter, after you had left, my mind had not a moment free of regret that I had remained behind. Two days before we were scheduled to depart, master Li came blowing through the twin cities like the hot Khamseen winds of the summers," He paused, a subtle wry smile twisting his lips as he glanced toward Mu Bai, "I could restrain myself no longer. The Regent was most gracious in assuring me that there would still be a position of some sort for me to fill when I joined them in the Undying Lands. Not that I particularly care at this point. I shall simply leave from the Grey Havens to find what I will." His voice matched his eyes and dripped - velvet and gentle - from his lips with the sumptuous fluidity of silk.
A soft smile lit Shu Lien's face. She was touched. She was very glad that they were both here. Putting her hands together and relishing the delicate reverence of palm against palm, she bowed low and long from where she sat.
"Thank you." She breathed closing her eyes for a moment and just feeling. Having them here was both comforting and disturbing. It was a painful reminder of what she had given up and that she no longer knew who she was. Part of her was seduced by the familiarity of the old, wanting to flee back to the Romanórë with them and pretend that none of this had happened. But nothing would ever be the same. It was an illusion, she reminded herself. Returning home would not erase the horrific memories emblazoned in her mind's eye, nor would her home be the same once she got there: Falmalinnar was the last of the Amaurëa in this land.
And indeed it could never be her home again without Legolas. He held her heart and soul in sweet captivity. She would wither and fade as surely as a plant uprooted from the rich earth and left bare in the parching sun. For a moment, warm thoughts of him washed over her chest and she looked up to find him, still tending the horses.
Glancing up at her as if she had spoken to him, he smiled hesitantly, looking unsure. In that instant, part of her wanted to run to him and wrap her arms around him, reassuring him with a loving embrace. But at the same time she was fighting her own raging emotional battle within. She swallowed hard. With an attempt at a comforting smile, she turned back to her friends. Falmalinnar was regarding her casually, no longer questioning with his eyes, and she was grateful.
Shu Lien took a deep breath. "We are having a dismally late meal. May I serve you tea?" Mu Bai bowed slightly in assent and Falmalinnar nodded. She stood and went to the fire, stirring the pot of grains and vegetables she has prepared earlier. Then she went about preparing the tea.
Legolas watched surreptitiously, trying to still his rampant emotions. He understood she was uncomfortable, but could not quell the fear that she was ashamed of their relationship. Or regretting her choice. He was patient, he wanted to be supportive, but right now he longed to feel her loving touch and hear her tell him she would not leave.
It was interesting to see her with others from her land, but it only served at the moment to make him feel like more of an outsider. All three were similar in their slow, graceful attentiveness. Even their words spoke of different ways, the flowing ancient Quenya fell from their lips with the gentle, punctuated tones of an afternoon spring rain. Through the more formal customs of the group, he could still see the easy familiarity she shared with the man that told of many years of mutual memories. He could not help but notice the subtle prickling of jealousy on the back of his neck.
He shook his head to clear it from such thoughts. This was not the only sensation making his hairs stand on end. He felt uneasy, not just from the emotionality of the situation. Something was wrong. Uruk-Hai were never sited this far west and north. Orcs were indeed seen in these parts of the Misty Mountains, but only in sparse and small marauding bands that would slink out from their caves, disorganized, to terrorize travelers for the glitter of gold. And it seemed early in the evening for his senses to be foretelling an assault of any nature, but he had grown to trust these feelings as they rarely led him astray.
His stomach began to writhe with unease; he hoped he hadn't underestimated the danger of this road for Shu Lien and her charge. He began to berate himself for his careless inattention. Perhaps he should have brought more Elves with him from Mirkwood to escort them. He had allowed himself to be distracted and he was ashamed.
He walked to Elrohir, who was sitting with Gimli away from the fire. "Something stirs." He said it quietly, matter-of-factly. From the fire, Falmalinnar looked up at them sharply, immediately alert.
Elrohir met Legolas` gaze, and nodded with an exasperated sigh. "Hmmm.. yes, I think I can feel it too. A bit early to be entertaining guests from the Misty Mountains, is it not?"
"It may be more than that. I fear I may have underestimated the danger of the pass to our party. We shall have to be on guard," Legolas returned quietly, flashing a concerned look to Elrohir before he approached Shu Lien who had almost finished preparing the tea. Unconsciously, he placed a hand on her upper arm as he spoke to her, his eyes scanning the forest around them with his unease. "Let us eat quickly. I fear we shall be visited sooner than we expected." His eyes glanced unconsciously to Falmalinnar, whose gaze was locked on him, his face unreadable, his jaw set hard. He again regarded Shu Lien as she turned.
Looking into his eyes a moment, with an assessing concern, she finally nodded. He moved to withdraw, but she stayed him with a hand. "Join us for tea." She waited until he turned around again. A slow loving smile blossomed on her face and he could not help but to return it, his heart lightening and melting at the same time.
Mu Bai's expression did not change, but he regarded the Elf measuringly from behind Shu Lien`s turned back. He did not like the way he looked at her and touched her. Had this been what Falmalinnar had sensed earlier? He did not have a dishonorable way about him, but nonetheless he was immediately concerned for his friend.
He had an immense respect for Shu Lien. She was one of the more accomplished Mandärin warriors of their day, and her discipline, diligence and serious attention was renowned in their realm. To him, she exemplified the grace, the power, the self-possession, the control, and the compassion that was nurtured by their Way. Like her, he held himself apart from others, but they had grown close over the many years of shared travel and training. He had never doubted that she could care for herself in any situation, but strangely he now found himself worried for her and feeling an odd protective impulse. He was not immune to the intense stress that the difference in the cultures and ways of Middle Earth had brought upon them with its violence and vulgarity. And she had undergone many more trials beyond this adjustment. She was vulnerable.
Legolas, Elrohir and Gimli joined the others at fire as Shu Lien served the tea. She kneeled and served the guests first by pouring the tea slowly into the small cup and bringing it to her forehead. Each recipient bowed formally in turn before accepting it, and waited, holding the cup serenely - one hand under and one hand around the cup - until the others had been served in a similar fashion.
Both Elrohir and Legolas mimicked the subtle ceremony, but Gimli simply nodded and spoke a gruff, "Thank you," to her as he took the small cup a bit awkwardly and slurped a loud mouthful. Surprised, she stifled her grin with the back of her hand. Legolas smiled openly at the interchange and Elrohir rolled his eyes. From across the fire, Mu Bai and Falmalinnar's expressions were sedate and unreadable.
The voice of the crackling fire and the whine of the nighttime insects danced with the long licking shadows of the darkened evening around the camp. The tea was drunk in silence, as was usual for the people of the Romanórë.
When her cup was empty, Shu Lien bowed over it and stood to stir the pilaf of legumes and grains. Pulling out the wrapped dried meats for the others of her party, she served a bowl for her Master first - as was the tradition - turning to hand it to him with a low bow as she brought it to her forehead. Falmalinnar took it, respectfully inclining his head. Mu Bai stood, followed by the others as Legolas reached the pot and dipped out a bowl and handed it to Shu Lien. Gracing him with a sweet smile and slight bow, she turned to pick up several of the wooden spoons and moved to sit down beside Falmalinnar.
Legolas served a bowl next to Mu Bai with a gracious smile. The man bowed politely, but his eyes merely met the Elf's with eyebrows slightly furrowed in stoic assessment.
Mu Bai then sat on the other side of Shu Lien - a quick glance to Legolas communicating his protective intention - and then turned behind him to fish through his pack.
"Since you lost your pack in Mordor, I am sure you have not laid eyes on these in many moons..." Mu Bai turned with a soft smile and a handful of delicate tapered sticks - the favored eating utensil among their people.
A huge smile almost broke Shu Lien's face in two as she took the elegant, shell-inlaid utensils he offered. Falmalinnar chuckled softly at her unmitigated pleasure as he accepted the pair Mu Bai offered him.
Settling them easily into her hand, she sighed slightly with the memories attached and began to eat, offering Mu Bai another grateful smile around a mouthful as he glanced up almost warmly from his bowl. He rarely indulged his emotions, but he admitted to himself that he was glad to be back at her side.
The rest of the party had settled down to eat as well, curiously watching the foreign style of eating.
"So, what are those sticks you eat with?" Gimli's gravelly voice spoke around a large bite of dried meat, the smacking of his chewing punctuating his question as he looked up inquisitively. Legolas cringed internally, for some reason, at Gimli's gruff and casual display in the face of the restrained elegance showcased across the fire.
Shu Lien smiled, trying to finish her mouthful before answering. Mu Bai spoke up, regarding the Dwarf with a subtle displeasure. "They are called vandelmat. This is the utensil preferred by both the Amaurëa and humans of our realm."
If Gimli had sensed any censure, he was unperturbed. With a little grunt of acknowledgement, he shoveled another spoonful of the grains into his mouth and tore a large bite of the dried meat from the strip he was holding in his fist. "Well... it seems.. " He paused, chewing heartily, "that... it would be easier to get... a proper bite with a spoon..." Gimli grumbled rather slyly and looked up at Shu Lien with a wink. Shu Lien chuckled, cutting her eyes to Falmalinnar to see how he was taking the cultural differences and teasing. The Elf was regarding the Dwarf dispassionately, but the corners of his mouth twitched as he met Shu Lien's gaze.
"It is our tradition," Mu Bai simply stated somewhat icily, his accented Common making the statement sound more severe than he intended.
Shu Lien quickly hastened to appease. "Gimli, like anything, once you are accustomed to it, you find it effortless. It is simple to get a `proper' bite, I assure you. Have you ever known me to have patience when I hunger?" Shu Lien smiled mischievously as the Dwarf chuckled. She met Legolas' gaze and he returned her smile and took another bite, glancing down at his bowl in an effort to hide the rush of divergent emotions he was experiencing.
Falmalinnar let a small smile soften his features. Shu Lien seemed so at ease with this group. It made his heart glad. He could sense her tension - around their arrival, if he had to guess - but in general she seemed much more relaxed and comfortable with herself. Whether it was the result of the trauma of the past year or other ways she had gone beyond the strict confines of her experiences and control, she seemed more open. She seemed authentic. He had missed her dearly.
The light exchange with Gimli served to relax the group and the conversation began to flow. Falmalinnar and Mu Bai told of their fairly uneventful trek through the south of Mordor and how they had rested and replenished their provisions in mere days at both Minas Tirith and Lothlórien and rode with only an extra meal and fresh supplies from Mirkwood, having been informed of the progress of those whom they tracked.
Shu Lien caught Legolas' gaze as he glanced over his bowl at her. His expression was veiled in serenity, but she could read his unease. She knew he was disturbed by the distance being put between them. She needed to tell them of her binding. A lump rose in her throat at the thought. She especially did not want to see displeasure or judgment in the eyes of Falmalinnar. And she had no idea how Mu Bai would react. She had lost so much already.
She shook her head slightly at herself. What was happening to her? Why all of these attachments to opinions, to reputation, to identity? She had made a difficult decision, but not one she regretted in her heart, though the repercussions were indeed painful and still settling about her. Where was her honor? Legolas was more important than her anxiety. It shamed her that she had allowed her fear, her cowardice to get in the way of presenting her love with
the pride and adoration she felt. He deserved no less. She looked to where he was eating - chewing absently, lost in thought -shoulders slumped almost imperceptibly, his carriage one of veiled self-consciousness. She closed her eyes briefly against his anxiety and her own self-berating. She had not handled this situation with the dignity and honor she would have liked. She was ashamed.
Suddenly, Falmalinnar stopped mid-sentence and held up his hand. The Elves of the group all looked up, listening. The scurrying footfalls of many could barely be heard in the far distance by Elvish ears.
Elrohir stood quickly. "Orcs. How is it that they find us at this hour? Their footfalls are so many!" he spat incredulously.
Legolas sprang up with an alarmed glance at Shu Lien and began stowing supplies in the trees.
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