Title & Chapter Number: Elencálë (The Light of the Elves) 6/?
Author(s): - Author's Index
Fandom: Middle Earth/Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
Rating: NC-17 Romance/Adventure
Disclaimer:
Warnings:
Betas:
Cast: Legolas/Shu Lien
Timeline: AU - Post RotK
Spoilers: None
Summary: This story takes place about 100 years after the quest of the One Ring. Even after the fall of Sauron, the foul breath of evil can still be felt on the winds of Middle Earth. Some say it is just the nature of the world, the shadow of the light. Some say it is rising and has once again become sentient. King Elessar rules with a just and even hand, but Men throughout the land are falling into darkness, succumbing to greed, hatred and violence among themselves and against the world. The Light of the Elves departs as the Eldar continue to withdraw to the West, leaving darkness in their wake.
Notes: Elves do not close their eyes during Reverie. While I have updated the sexual culture of the Eldar to reflect more modern values (and indeed the fact that I feel that such sensual and advanced beings would revel in such a pass time and consider it natural and pure), the concept that Elves can tell if other Elves have had sex actually is Tolkien's.
Chapter 6
"Ahh... I can't wait until my eyes behold the fair Lothlòrien once more." Gimli said with a wistfulness that almost made his voice sound soft.
"You mean you can't wait to see the fair *Lady* of Lothlòrien once more." Elrohir laughed lightly, cutting his eyes mischievously over to the Dwarf who was riding beside him on his pony (he had finally acquiesced to learning to ride a small animal, much to the delight of Legolas' steed).
Gimli huffed.
Legolas chuckled at his friend. "Oh, just because the Golden Wood doesn't hold the same interest for you that it once did..." Gimli retorted, looking evilly up at the Elf.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Elrohir asked, indignant."Well I can't help but notice that your eye has not strayed to those lovely Lothlòrien lasses for ... oh ... several decades now. Coinciding, quite by chance, with your introduction to the fair Elerrina. Hmmmm, Legolas what do you make of that?" Gimli continued mercilessly as Elrohir shifted on his horse uncomfortably.
"Gimli, if I didn't know better, I would think our dear friend was in love." Legolas smiled with gentle amusement, enjoying Elrohir's uncharacteristic fluster.
Always charming and refined, Elrohir had his choice of lovers, whom he took freely and frequently. However, he avoided becoming too intimate with his partners, which always suited them just fine. A romantic by nature, he did appreciate love immensely, as long as he wasn't involved. Underneath the suave exterior, he was a sensitive and caring soul who was himself very afraid of such an attachment. His gentle heart had been broken long ago when he and his brother Elladan had rescued his mother from the lair of the Orcs. The abuse she had suffered had wounded her soul and she had left for the Undying Lands shortly after. He had never completely recovered from the sight of her, crouched, filthy, bleeding and abused, in their fetid lair. The pain he felt at her grief and agony had overwhelmed him. He never wanted to be in that much pain again. He was very much afraid of the vulnerability of love. He had guarded the attachments he formed carefully, until his heart had been stolen quite unexpectedly. He still tried to deny it to himself.
"I am not." Elrohir returned hotly, trying to ignore the burning of his cheeks.
"Oh really? Why then, Elf, are you blushing?" Gimli chortled.
Elrohir threw his hands up in the air in exasperation, he could not win this one. "Dwarves are so..." he fumbled.
"Handsome, intelligent ....and correct!" Gimli laughed even harder.
Legolas laughed almost absently at their antics, finding his concerned eyes on Shu Lien as they had been many times these past few days. She was somber, riding erect and evenly a few paces behind them, her body moving gracefully like it was part of her horse. She would often seem withdrawn into meditation, as she did now, exuding a stillness that Legolas could sense. He knew she was grieving and often he would just ride near her, offering his presence as a comfort. He hoped she would turn to him when she was ready.
The small party had been traveling two days from Minas Tirith. As soon as they had gotten on the road the heavy burden returned to Shu Lien's shoulders. The days in the White City had offered a welcome and lulling distraction, but returning to her duty proper brought back all of the turmoil and torment of the past many months. Legolas, Gimli and Elrohir fell into their usual travel banter, riding among rousing tales of adventure and mishap. Shu Lien rode slightly apart in silence. This was indeed the way that the Mandärin conducted themselves while working in the Romanórë, but it belied the friendship that had begun to develop between herself and her shieldmates in the city. Often when she was on the road she would casually meditate as she rode and over these days she stayed in the intense half-trance as often as her energy allowed, her awareness sharp. It kept the emotions at bay.
Both Gimli and Elrohir were taking similar notice of Shu Lien's state. Being used to dealing with their enigmatic friend, they knew to let Shu Lien process in her own time and did not attempt to draw her in, but maintained their normal travel routine, offering the normalcy up to her as solace.
By the third day, the warnings began. Conversation stilled, and attention was sharpened as Elrohir and Legolas began to warily heed their Elvish senses, which prickled unrelentingly as they rode on. Evil lay lurking ahead. The group quietly discussed the possibilities for confrontation. There was no way to outrun assailants as Gimli's mini horse would not be able to keep the necessary pace. They left the road and traveled through the wood, following the river, in single file, the Elves flanking the party.
~*~*~*~
The last breath of daylight was wheezing through the filtering trees; the light was strange and made the woods move in ways that one would have only expected from a forest like Fanghorn. They rode through a dream.
Deciding to stop at a stream ahead, the party dismounted to walk their horses to water. The four travelers stopped, looking around uneasily. All was too quiet. The horses whinnied nervously and the Elves turned quickly, notching arrows toward the darkening forest at the sounds of twigs snapping.
Out of the wood came ugly masses of Uruk Hai who had lain in waiting and were quickly ambushing, swords glinted menacingly in the twilight, voices bellowing like wounded animals. The Uruk-Hai of the current era had bred with Orcs, so their forms were slightly smaller, and perhaps even more grotesque. Their rotting teeth were gnashing with blood lust as they streamed through the trees, a fetid odor wafting with them. Their heavily muscled forms moved more like misshapen animals, lunging towards them with frightening speed and agility for their size.
Shu Lien had her swords drawn and separated before her feet had a chance to move and she sprang towards them taking life swiftly from a beast before it even had a chance to register her attack. Gimli was soon at her side axing and slashing, while sounding his hoarse battle cry. The Elves stayed with the horses, arrows loosening relentlessly at the attackers, giving cover and support to the mortals who were slashing through the fray. After their arrows ran out, Legolas and Elrohir joined their comrades wielding their knives and long sword respectively. The Uruk-Hai were many. It was a difficult and ugly battle.
Deep within Shu Lien's stomach a fire started to smolder, each vicious stroke of her swords, each flying kick landing in the putrid flesh stoked the fire ever higher. Images of the past long months bubbled up, unbidden. Images of the atrocity and horror that had taken the lives of her party one by one. The usual barren mental landscape of her focused attention was riddled with flame, a burning that seared her soul and escalated her ferocious offense. Shu Lien felt like she was watching herself from afar, and the cold wash of fear at her loss of control would have been felt were it not for the incinerating flames. Legolas watched Shu Lien out of the corner of his eye and noticed that a dark rage had settled icily over her usually liquid eyes. Inside she was completely still, but she was not simply reacting, she was hating. All of the anger and desperation of the months before was pouring out of her in ferocious violence. She lunged and hit and stabbed and sliced in a frenzy with fierce accuracy and speed, displaying her frighteningly fluent lethality and brutal skill to its utmost extent.
When finally the last of the Uruk Hai had fallen there was barely enough light left in the wood for the Elves to retrieve their arrows. As Legolas pulled them from his victims, his eyes followed Shu Lien as she dropped her swords and ran to a tree off to the side, bending over and retching violently. Concern etching his face, he moved towards her, but without even looking up, she forcefully shoved her palm towards him indicating that he should come no closer. He returned to Elrohir and Gimli's side who were watching quietly. The party was silent as they cleaned their weapons, filled their quivers and began to move off to find a camping spot further up river.
Camp was made and a warm, cheerful fire begun. After washing the foul blood from face and hands, tending her few wounds and changing tunics, Shu Lien kneeled, sitting on her heels, before the fire and stared into the flames, trying to siphon off their strength. The battle, with its blood and gore, was difficult enough to experience as it was still fairly new to her, but she was most distressed at her loss of control. She had truly killed with brutal violence instead of merely dispassionately defending, and it had been somehow satisfying to her internal anger.
She had killed with hate.
Shocked by what she saw inside herself, she allowed her eyes tear just enough to blur the fire to an orange halo in the dark, her nose burning with sorrow. Eyes unmoving, she reached blind, shaking fingers to her hair, unbraiding it's disarray and combing through it with her fingers before trying to separate it back into the three sections for rebraiding. Over and over her trembling fingers tried to separate it into even sections to braid, but it always ended up impossibly lopsided. Finally she let her hands drop into her lap, hanging her head.
That is when gentle, warm hands stole to her shoulders. For a moment they squeezed the muscles soothingly, coaxing some of the tension away. Shu Lien closed her eyes and found she didn't want to refuse the comforting ministrations, yielding with her body language. Silently they took up her hair, slowly running several times over the length of it, impossibly soft skin brushing against the nape of her neck. With attentive tenderness Legolas separated her hair and braided it, slowly and deliberately. He enjoyed the feeling of the silky black strands in his hands, and the faint scent of jasmine which rose through the smell of horse, travel and battle. When finally he was tying off the long braid, both parties were more relaxed and at peace than they had been but moments ago. Legolas sat cross legged beside her, looking into the fire as well.
Long silent minutes passed before Shu Lien spoke. "My hands... how can they still look the same after this? How can they ever be clean again? This stain will never be washed away." She whispered hoarsely as her dull, sorrowful eyes carefully examined her hands, turning them over and over. She then slowly reached her hand to Legolas' sitting on his knee and brought it before her, examining it as well -holding and turning it over with one hand. Her hands were warm and caring. "How many lives have these gentle hands taken?" She asked his hand quietly, running her calloused fingertips over the lines of his silken palm.
Legolas watched her intently, switching his focus between his hand and her face. "More than I dare remember." He whispered somberly, with the faintest hint of regret.
Shu Lien nodded, closing her eyes briefly and moving in slow motion to replace his hand gently on his knee. Then suddenly she dropped her face into her hands.
"Oh, Legolas. I have killed. I have ruthlessly killed in rage, and it was somehow... enjoyable... I am no better than the those at the other end of my swords."
Legolas sat silently for a moment letting her words seep into his heart. Finally he spoke quietly, turning to look at her. "You killed in defense... defense of yourself, of your shield mates, of your duty. The emotions of which you speak are dealt with by all warriors who have seen brutal battle. I no longer even blink when my arrow strikes and the breath is taken from my target. Indeed I have boasted merrily about how many lives I have taken. I have become hardened in self defense. If I felt compassion in battle, I would not have survived my guilt to see this day." Legolas' warm hands enfolded hers and he held them tenderly. "As your sword says, <in Quenya>'Always the battle of the spiritual warrior is with the Self.' You must be patient with yourself in these desperate times. Remember the path that you walk and look to the horizon, not to the earth beneath your feet."
Shu Lien did not respond but looked up back into the fire, letting her hands drop into her lap as he released them. With a heavy sigh, she just sat and felt all that was boiling up inside her. Legolas sat with her silently, watching and stoking the fire, until, many hours later, fatigue and sorrow stole her consciousness and she fell into a welcomed dreamless darkness curled up beside him.
~*~*~*~
Elrohir and Gimli wordlessly took watches the rest of the night after Legolas had finally laid out his bedroll to rest near the sleeping Shu Lien. When he awoke just after dawn, Shu Lien was gone. Into the woods to meditate, Gimli provided as he handed Legolas some breakfast.
She returned in the early morning smiling a friendly restrained greeting to her comrades as she went directly to pack her things and tend her horse. She didn't speak to them, but spoke lovingly to her horse in Quenya as she brushed and readied her. Leaping lightly onto her back, she waited patiently, looking around the forest casually as the others mounted and signaled their ready. The party took off to the road, all in a more somber mood than before. They rode all day, breaking only for lunch and for the horses in relative silence, though Gimli could always be counted on for a story now and then.
Evening brought the setting up of camp and, as was usual for them by now, Elrohir took the first watch, Gimli the second, then Legolas and finally Shu Lien. Shu Lien would wake before her shift began, and perform some stretching exercises and then relieve Legolas who would return to his bedroll. During her watch she would sit in meditation, always aware of her surroundings, and then train silently with bare handed and weaponed Katas through her watch and up until they resumed their travel again. She would eat breakfast on horseback. Legolas began to cherish the delicate spicy scent of the incense she lit and its wise, subdued aroma always whispered through his Reverie as he settled to rest again. Legolas would wake after this nap of sorts just at dawn and then, after something to eat and drink, jog into the forest to greet the sun with the birds from the tops of selected trees.
~*~*~*~
Several more days went by in this predictable manner. This morning however, Shu Lien stepped up to Legolas as he sat at the fire, nursing a hot beverage after having just waked up, and bowed to him. He looked up and smiled openly at her welcomed advance.
"I was wondering if you would join my training this morning?" She asked, a lovely soft smile gracing her lips. Legolas inwardly sighed, it was good to see her face lighten again.
"How could I refuse such an offer?" He smiled, setting his cup on a log before him and standing. They began first with open-handed sparring, then moved into weaponed matches. By the time the others were ready to leave, their chests were heaving and a broad smile was on both of their faces. Before they mounted, Shu Lien addressed her three shield mates with a bow. "Forgive me. I know I have been a poor travel companion as of late. You honor me with your kindness and patience."
Gimli made a dismissing motion with his hands rolled his eyes. "It is nothing that should be spoken of. Believe me lass, we are well used to much worse... having had to put up with this Elf for many a journey!" He elbowed Legolas who just grinned. The mood of the group had lightened immediately.
When they took to the road this time, Shu Lien road along side the males, making eye contact and listening to the story that Gimli was beginning to tell. Elrohir and Legolas returned to their cheerful comments and raucous laughter at Gimli's tales. Legolas found himself looking forward to Shu Lien's bright smiles and soft chuckles and both he and Gimli competed with exuberance to elicit them frequently. So the day passed quickly with amiable, animated chatter.
~*~*~*~
Several weeks went by as they wound their way towards Lothlòrien on their trip northwest. There were a few more skirmishes with those that trailed Shu Lien, but soon the way became surprisingly clear, and they found themselves being lulled into comfort. Traveling was actually pleasurable. The quartet enjoyed a chemistry that was comfortable, pleasant and, at times, downright jovial. The three old friends found Shu Lien's personality to be the perfect balance for their relationship and selves and they settled into an easy travel routine and warm friendship. Though gracefully restrained, she was engaged, insightful, and thoughtful, but also had a sense of humor and playful side that would pounce out unexpectedly from time to time.
Both Elrohir and Gimli were pleased by Legolas' consistent good mood as well. He was never a poor travel companion, but usually over such a time he would go through periods of subtle reticence, withdrawing into his thoughts. These days a smile seemed always accessible at the corners of his mouth and he was consistently engaged and focused on those around him.
Shu Lien's Common Speech improved by the day, but she still enjoyed moments when she was only in the company of one of the Elves so that she could lapse into her more native Sindarin. The friends would naturally alternate between the group and then independent random pairings as they rode during the day. Shu Lien developed relationships with each as individuals as well as cementing the group dynamic. It surprised her how easily she fell into familiarity with all of them, it was most unlike her.
Her relationship with Legolas, however, was the thing that perplexed her the most. She had never had a friend who seemed to understand her so well and whom she enjoyed being around so much. She felt completely comfortable with him. They sparred every morning, and sometimes in the evening as well, and often talked long hours on the road. Though he could joke with the best of them, he was more serious than the other two and they discussed many somber things dear and important. Each had a quiet melancholy that lay under the surface that softly called back and forth between them. She found out almost as much about him as he did about her. She found out that he had lost his mother when he was an Elfling as well, and that his father blamed himself for the Orc attack that took her life brutally after taking her captive. And that his father was never the same after the incident.
However Legolas, while talking at length in loving detail of his cherished Mirkwood, spoke very little of his family. Shu Lien did not press him but kept it in her mind.
~*~*~*~
One morning Shu Lien lifted her eyes from her meditation to find Legolas sitting before her in the leaves watching her. As soon as her eyes rose, he grinned and stood up, offering a hand and pulling her up. "Come!" He exclaimed, continuing to hold her hand and pulling her through the scrubby undergrowth around them. She laughingly stumbled after him.
Finally he brought her to a halt on the top of a hill overlooking the rising sun. The hill was covered with wildflowers of all kinds whose colors mirrored those that the sun was meticulously painting in the tranquil sky. With a soft delighted cry, Shu Lien ran through the flowers a ways before falling back unceremoniously into the blossoms, eyes fixed on the kaleidoscope of dawn. Legolas came up beside her lying down with his hands behind his head. Shu Lien smiled at him and put her hands in the same position, their elbows touching. Together they watched the colors melt and run through the sky until it was washed clean, burnished to a light blue by the flaxen day.
Shu Lien turned on her side, cheek propped in her hand and smiled joyously at Legolas. "That was beautiful." She intoned quietly sighing. Legolas smiled turning more towards her, blue eyes soft. She reached out a hand and picked a yellow flower from above them and regarded it absently. Legolas watched her, his eyes running over her face, her hands, her arms. His stomach was strangely knotted.
Shu Lien's eyes wandered back to his face and she smiled automatically. Impulsively she brought the long stemmed flower down and bonked his nose, then ran up the bridge and across his forehead and down his cheek. She chuckled softly as he grinned and followed it with his eyes. Removing the flower, her eyes stayed locked on Legolas' face and a thoughtful, slightly perplexed expression knitted her brow. Her eyes slowly caressed his features with a sweet laziness like honey. Her body felt warm and heavy.
Legolas was aware of nothing but his breath which was light and quick as he watched her. "What?" He whispered finally. Her eyes snapped back to his and seemed to clear a bit.
"You are as beautiful as the dawn." She said quietly, simply. Legolas' breath caught in his chest. He had been complimented on his appearance many times by both Elves and Men, and had always found it annoyingly tedious, until now. Pushing aside the confusing feelings that were banging around inside her, Shu Lien offered him a demure smile as she gathered herself and rose energetically. "Do not let that go to your head, now." She said slyly, "Gimli thinks you have a big enough head as it is."
She reached a hand down to help him up, which he took as he puffed. "Does he, now?"
She set herself into a sparring stance with a raise to her eyebrows and a small inviting smile. Grinning, Legolas immediately launched a quick kick and openhanded strike and they dueled amongst the flowers.
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