Title & Chapter Number: Secret Love 1: Secret Love 1/1
Author(s): - Author's Index
Fandom: Tolkien
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The Tolkien estate own all Lord of the Ring bits and bobs..I am just borrowing them. I own nothing but my soul and I earn nothing from this little ditty.
Warnings: none..implied slash tis all
Betas: Hawk
Cast: Elrond/Erestor
Timeline: After Frodo had left Rivendell
Spoilers: Nope
Summary: Someone finds another who needs some comfort but can never say how they feel.
Notes: This little plot bunny was running around my head and the end surprised even me! My first slash piece so don't slay me.Spoilers: POV story.
I opened the door silently, fully aware that there was someone in the library at this late hour. I could not sleep either and had spent a rather enjoyable hour or so in the lavender gardens, their scent soothing my cares away. It was on my way back that I saw the light, a faint slither, under the library door so I decided to investigate.
I pushed my hair aside as I entered the room to see a figure slumped in the chair as if all the cares of the world sat on their shoulders. The fire light was subdued, the glowing remains of the wood crackling their last final strength into ashes. I padded silently, my bare feet felt warm against the coldness of the marble underneath. The figure did not move, his head bent as his dark soft hair fell down around his shoulders, dishevelled and matted.
I bent down to look up at the one elf whom I trusted above all else. The one who needed me, who still needed me after several thousand years of companionship. If I was honest with myself, I would say that I loved him but I would never admit it, never to him, never to the one who held my heart and could twist it with just a look or a word.
"What is wrong mellon?" I asked quietly, aware that the elf seemed to be hurting. My hand came up unconsciously to stroke his head, pushing his hair away from his face and tucking that same hair behind his ear. Those eyes that could glare, could curl my heart around his fingers gazed at me blankly, silent tears rolled down on his cheeks.
Oh how my heart broke to see him like this!
"Pen-eth, please, what is wrong!" I cried, upset at seeing him so distressed. His eyes passed over to mine, finally taking note of my presence. I wanted to hold him in my arms, to tell him it is all right, that he is loved but I cannot. My heart screamed at me to say but my mouth stays silent against the plea my soul makes.
"Whatever will become of us mellon." He whispers to me, as he wiped his face. "What if Middle Earth becomes Sauron's and-"
I shush him with a finger on his lips, the only way I can think of without kissing those lips to stop his fears. My groin aches as my heart does. He looks so vulnerable, so alone. This was a face rarely seen by those who lived with us, who lived in this great and beautiful city. All they saw was confidence, knowledge. Not many elves outside the family knew how many ranges of emotions this elf held but tonight the mask had slipped. His fears had surfaced and I could feel an inevitable tug that would mean my love would leave these shores and go to the grey havens.
I gazed up at those eyes, darkened as they were in what little light was left from the firelight. I sighed as I rubbed a tear away with my thumb.
"Always I will be here for you mellonnin, whatever happens to middle earth we cannot stop it. Things change, people come and go. We elves see more than we want to see, especially you." I stroked a cheek, hoping that my company would give him comfort.
He nodded, his face emotionless as he let me continue to stroke his cheek. The skin under his eyes were dark, his face seemingly gaunt. He needed to sleep.
"Come," I encouraged, standing with a hand outstretched for him to take if he wished, which to my secret delight he takes. His hand is warm against mine, his hands now more of a scholar than a warrior but I knew differently. I knew how this elf worked and thought, how he could become ruthless in battle and intense in love.
I surrounded my sweetest desire with my arms, trembling slightly at the closeness of contact, the heady scent of violets filling my senses as I guided him to his private chambers, his shuffling gait making him so old, though I was far older than he.
He is deeply troubled tonight, I thought to myself as I opened the door and led him in to stand beside his bed, large enough for three and ornately carved. I eased the over garment that lay over his firm body and turned to lay the robe on his bed. I then turned back and allowed him to sit, his body language telling me that this elf needed comfort and I knew not how to give it unless I opened my heart and I could not do that. I feared if I did, he would reject me and all my hopes would be lost. It was best for all if I stayed silent, never telling a soul about the love I had for this elf. I could not bear to be rejected.
I spied his brush on the side table next to his bed, so I leant over and grabbed it. I then turned and sat next to the elf who had stole my heart and began to tease the knots from his hair. Never had I seen it so dishevelled and wondered how long my love had tossed and turned before going to the library. As I let the ebony strands run through my fingers, I brushed to soothe my own torrent of emotions as well as his. I had done this before nearly a millennia ago when he had lost his brother and I hoped it would give him some comfort now.
After a while I could see that he was relaxing, his head nodding so I ceased my brushing and gently moved the covers aside so that the carrier of my desire could slip underneath. I shifted slightly so that I sat next to the prone form, his eyes shut. He seemed to be more at ease with himself as my hand hovered over his head, wanting to stroke all his cares away. How I wish I could carry his burden just for a day, so that he could laugh once more.
"You are a good friend Erestor," he murmured as his breath slowed to sleep.
"As are you my lord. Sleep well Elrond." I replied quietly and so I waited beside him, to make sure the nightmares stayed away for one night.
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