Title & Chapter Number: Haldir's Redemption 8/9
Author(s): - Author's Index
Fandom: LOTR
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my soul. No money is being made from this story and all rights and privileges belong to the Tolkien Estate.
Warnings: Angst, H/C, Contains assault of a female.
Betas: Beta'd by Hawk....thanks sooooooo much hun!
Cast: Haldir/OFC and most of the elves and fellowship including some of my own characters
Timeline: Just before the fellowship arrives at Lorien and after they leave
Spoilers: LOTR, Two Towers
Summary: Sequel to Haldir's Therapy. Haldir has been injured at Helm's Deep and finds that he needs Nerie more than he thought possible but his stubborness and arrogance gets way too much in the way. Plenty of angst, assault, pain and battery……..and forever love…..all say aaahhhh!!
Notes: Feedback always appreciated. This is an ongoing story.
I normally dont do song fics..so this is the one and only time but this song just so fit this part of the story.
Chapter 8 - Torn Asunder With Hope Reborn
~*~*~*~
I feel like a song without the words
A man without a soul
A bird without its wings
A heart without a home
I feel like a knight without a sword
The sky without the sun
cos you are the one
and I'm never gonna leave your side
and I'm never gonna leave your side again
still holding on girl
I won't let you go
cos when I'm lying in your arms
I know I'm home
(Daniel Bedingfield - Never gonna leave your side)~*~*~*~
Haldir groaned as he awoke then suddenly realised that he was tied to the bed and could not move. Reality came into his mind instantly and he struggled against the bonds but they were too strong. With wild eyes, Haldir began to search the room and instantly saw Erestor and Elrohir sitting not far from where he lay.
"What is the meaning of this!" Haldir yelled, his agitation building as his anger rose. How dare they tie him down to the bed!
Erestor sighed and shook his head at Elrohir, whose face mirrored the counsellor's solemn expression.
"It seems the medicine still works within him."
Elrohir nodded.
"Aye. Father said that it may stay in him for sometime. He had no idea that Haldir would react this way."
Haldir stopped his struggles and stared at Elrohir, a deepening frown on his face.
"What do you mean `react this way'? I have been here all night! What is the meaning of this!" He began again but stopped after looking at both the dark elves before him.
Something was wrong.
"What happened?" Haldir asked, his voice tight.
"Do you not remember Haldir?" Elrohir replied softly.
Haldir's frown grew as his body tensed again against his bonds.
"NO. WILL SOMEONE KINDLY TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON."
Elrohir gazed at Erestor who rolled his eyes.
"Well, you woke me last night after the healing. I was here to make sure you were safe . . ."
Erestor continued with the details and as he described how he saw Haldir hitting Nerie, Haldir sank into the mattress and turned his face away. Shame and guilt filled him at the unknown act. Erestor's clipped tight voice trailed off as he finished informing Haldir of how both he and Elrohir carried him back to the rooms.
Closing his eyes, Haldir fought the urge to tug the rope yet again for that would get him nowhere. With jaw clenched, the blonde warden needed to be sick but tried to ignore his rolling stomach. How could he do such brutality against Nerie?
He flinched as he felt a hand placed on his shoulder and turned to see Elrohir, his dark hair framing his face as the young elf leant over and untied the knots.
"I do believe, Haldir O' Lorien, that you have no idea." Elrohir murmured as he watched Haldir's face.
"I had no idea! I don't remember anything apart from when Elrond made me sleep." Haldir stated angrily then closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm down. After a few moments he opened his eyes to gaze at Erestor again, his stomach in a hard ball.
"How is Nerie? Can I see her?" Haldir's voice trembled against the increasing turmoil of emotions that rolled over him. He slowly sat on the edge of the bed and felt incredibly ill at ease as his gut twisted. He looked up to see Erestor shaking his head.
"Nerie is safe, Haldir but I believe it is not wise to see her just yet. Leave her for a few days. Then we shall see if we can get you two together."
Haldir just nodded then rose suddenly, his face ashen as he saw the sink. He ran to it and bent his head over it just in time. Elrohir stood and stroked Haldir's back for comfort as Haldir vomited until nothing remained. Feeling incredibly weak Haldir stood unsteadily and was guided back to the cot and sat down heavily. Haldir cradled his head in his hands, slightly shaking his head from side to side in disbelief and wincing in discomfort from the recent treatment.
"How could I have done this?" he whispered.
Elrohir shook his head, his lips tight.
`Ada says that you had a reaction to the painkilling poultice. The medicines muddled your mind and made you feel paranoid. I can only guess you heard Nerie being distressed."
Haldir nodded but it did nothing to stop the horrendous ever increasing guilt that built inside him and not being able to say sorry was worst of all. Resolved in seeing Nerie, Haldir placed his hands on his knees and straightened his body.
"I must see Nerie." He said resolutely.
Elrohir placed a hand on Haldir's shoulders to stop any further movement.
"Nay Haldir. You have shaken Nerie badly. She will not want to see you, not yet."
"But I must, Elrohir! She must know that I did not mean what I did!" Haldir insisted, his body tensing again.
Elrohir's hand tightened on Haldir's shoulder.
"And I say nay, Haldir O' Lorien. Ada is with her and she is safe and tended. I beg you Haldir, do not make it worse that it already is at present!" Elrohir replied firmly.
Haldir could hear the sense and tension in the young twin but it did not ease the pain.
"But I did not mean to . . .it was not me . . ." he whispered.
Elrohir crouched in front of Haldir and gazed at the blonde elf before him. He had been through so much in so short a time. What had the Valar intended to give such a warrior such hated luck?
Haldir's grey blue eyes held a distant look, haunted almost. Elrohir could only guess to what the elf must be feeling and felt instant pity.
"I love . . . her…" Haldir's voice could barely be heard. "I would die rather than hurt her . . . How can I . . ."
"Shhhh Haldir. What happened is not your fault," Elrohir whispered reassuringly. "It was the medicine. Not you. Shhhh Ease your fears Haldir. Nerie is safe and you will see her soon."
After many minutes, the healer slipped Haldir back onto the cot, whispering a sleep spell into his ear before he leant upwards and gazed down at the now sleeping elf. Even in sleep, Haldir looked as if he carried the weight of Middle Earth on his shoulders.
"I do not wish to be in his shoes mellon-nin."
The dark elf looked up to see Erestor standing behind him and shook his head in response as he stood next to his tutor and friend.
"Neither would I, Erestor if truth be told but only the Valar knows why this has happened. Ada said it was not unknown for such a reaction but very rare."
Erestor nodded, glancing at the now sleeping elf. It seemed that even in sleep, Haldir's deep guilt still dwelt on his face.
"I think the Valar have their reasons. Sometimes they are not always as clear as we wish them to be."
"Well, I am going to see Ada. He should be with Nerie. You go and rest mellon-nin. You have had a busy night."
Erestor chuckled and nodded once.
"Aye, a few hours reverie would lift my spirits. It has been rather an interesting few hours that we could ALL have done without. You know where I am if you need me."
Elrohir watched as Erestor left the healing rooms and glanced back at Haldir. He would sleep long enough, and it was much needed sleep. Now to find his father.
~*~*~*~
Elrond looked up, his hand lay entangled in the sleeping child's fingers, as Elrohir came into the room and noted Nerie was not there.
"Where is she?" Elrohir enquired.
"Bathing."
Elrohir's eyebrows raised in confusion but Elrond shook his head very slightly.
"She needed time alone. To re-evaluate herself and what happened with Haldir. I have told her the truth about Haldir being under the influence of the medicinal herbs that we gave him. I have apologised but she would hear none of it. She told me it was not my fault but I still feel deeply responsible."
Elrohir sat next to his father on the plush couch and stroked the baby's blonde hair.
"They have been through so much . . ." he murmured as he smiled at the small smile Eirien gave whilst asleep. He wondered at what babies dreamt of in their sleep. Never ending cuddles? Butterflies and finger play? Mother and her loving touch?
Elrond watched his son and felt warmth in his heart for the first time in the last few days.
"Besides Ada, it wasn't your fault," Elrohir continued, his grey eyes glancing upward. "You had no idea Haldir would react that way. You yourself said that this was the first time you had witnessed it first hand. All other mentions are written in healer books and they are over two thousand years old."
Elrond sighed and kissed the downy head of the babe that slept in his arms.
"Yes that is true Elly. But we must do something to bind these ties that have been broken. Through our fault or not, it was our actions that have caused this heartache. We must tread carefully."
Elrohir nodded and smiled at the child again.
"But not this evening. Haldir will sleep tonight." Elrohir paused as he saw his father's eyebrow raise.
"I have put a sleep spell on him. He needs it more than he needs to worry all night. Either one of us can sleep in here to make sure Nerie is not alone tonight. In the end all will work well."
Elrond placed a hand on his son's head and gazed lovingly at his son.
"When did I sire such wonderful children?"
Elrond's eyes hardened for a second.
"But I cannot stay at Rivendell despite this, you know that. I hope I can place this burden on you, Elladan, Arvarno and Erestor whilst I am away."
Elrohir chuckled at the warmth his father displayed. It was not often seen but it was most welcome.
"Aye father. Worry not. Erestor, Arvarno and I will heal all wounds, I promise. Now I will retire for a while. I have a feeling the first night here will not be as comfortable as my bed."
Elrond nodded as he watched his son rise.
"I will call for you later."
Elrohir nodded a brief smile on his lips and was gone. Elrond gazed back down at the sleeping child and gently stroked her ears. Eirien smiled in response but did not wake.
"Ai child! What parents you have! But worry not pen-neth for it will all turn out well. You are loved more than you know. I think you may be the key to their healing. Sleep now pen-neth. Ardarto Elrond is here."
~*~*~*~
Nerie sat in the baths, the hot water soothing her tender flesh were Haldir had groped her the previous night. She thought about what Elrond had told her. Though her emotions had been on the surface for all to see, she felt resolved to overcome this hurdle no matter what the consequence but she could not get rid of the increasing apprehension of seeing Haldir again.
Nerie did not blame Elrond for what had happened, but deep inside, she was apprehensive - even frightened - of seeing her husband again. What would he do? For that matter, what would she do?
She shook her head and felt water droplets trickle down her face and she wiped them irritably away with her hand and hissed as they brushed over her torn lip and bruised cheek. Never had she thought she would be frightened of her husband. He had always cared for her, tended her when she felt most alone and she became his rock to cling to when the Valar gave this stoic elf more trouble than he thought he could handle. Now the Valar had done it again but this time they included them both.
It is not fair! She thought as she gazed upwards to the vaulted ceiling.
The vision of a painted blue sky hung above complete with clouds and doves but still Nerie did not understand why.
Why Haldir?
Had he not gone through enough?
Nerie shook her head as she looked around the baths. The water steamed and the air was heavy and sodden. Glancing at her fingers, she saw she had hidden herself long enough. It was time to face reality yet again.
Drying and dressing quickly, Nerie returned to her apartment but her eyes glanced upwards to the healing rooms, a soft light lit the window giving it a warm glow and a hard knot gripped her stomach. In that room lay Haldir, her husband. The elf whom, above all things, held her heart completely but he had hurt her. It wasn't his fault.
But he had hurt her.
Most of all, her trust had been displaced and Nerie wondered as she entered the apartment, if that trust could be healed. Elrond nodded to her and she smiled though her heart felt little joy.
"Eirien is asleep but no doubt will wake shortly. Elrohir and Erestor will ensure you are not alone for a while. They will sleep on the settee to make sure you are not alone in the next few nights." Elrond said quietly but raised his hand as Nerie began to protest and gave her his most stern look.
"I will NOT take no for an answer young lady. Now I will leave you be for a while to allow you to think about things though I am sure you will do enough of that over the next few days. "
"I do not need tending my lord but I thank you for your concern. I will be fine."
Elrond's eyebrows rose and a small twitch of his lips hinted a smile.
"I insist. I need to know you feel safe,"
Then Elrond's face fell.
"Besides I leave for Gondor tomorrow. My daughter is marrying Elesar and remaining here on middle earth."
"Congratulations sire. I have heard a lot about Arwen. They say she is beautiful and kind." Nerie murmured.
Elrond's steel grey eye's hardened.
"She is foolish! Now is the end for elves here on Middle Earth. She needs to be with her people, not stuck here to die!" he said bitterly then turned to glance at Nerie who had visibly paled at his words and sighed.
Placing a reassuring hand onto Nerie's shoulder, Elrond gave a reassuring squeeze and murmured,
"I am sorry. There is much in my family history that you do not know but for an elf to lose someone they love hurts deeply. More deeply than you could ever imagine. I will leave my daughter here but it is not with my blessing. But it is her decision to whom she gives her heart and I cannot change that. I am but a bitter old elf, Nerie, who has seen too much pain to wish to bear more but I do not have the choice."
Elrond pulled Nerie to him and hugged her tightly and she held her breath. Then as quickly as the hug had began, Elrond pulled back and gazed down at the blonde human who stood before him.
"Know this, Nerie. I suspect that the deep seated fear that Haldir has is to lose you. This is what made his mind to turn when he was at his weakest. His negativity in this fear came forward but it is not a negative at all. It is a fear all elves feel sometimes when they are paired. Once an elf binds, Nerie, it is for life. Things are slightly different in your case as you are human but the Valar have their own games to play. Be strong, Nerie, for you both, just for a little while longer."
Speechless, Nerie just nodded and the dark lord just smiled gently, kissed her on the forehead and departed the room without another word or look.
Nerie sat shell shocked on the sofa. Haldir feared losing her? And all along she had feared she would lose him! Oh what a pair they were! Neither had expressed their fear but each feared the same! The determination grew as Nerie sat and pondered on the Lord of Rivendell's words. It was then that she heard Eirien wake.
"Coming little one!" Nerie called as she gathered her wits and went to feed her daughter.
~*~*~*~
Elladan entered the shared apartment and spied his brother asleep on his bed. He smiled gently. For nearly three thousand years they had done most things together and this had been the longest they had been apart but with Glorfindel at Mirkwood and his brothers healing tendencies needed these last few days, he did not begrudge the time apart but he had missed his twin.
Stripping himself from his rangers clothing, he sat gently on Elly's bed, dressed in an over robe ready for a much needed bath, and watched as Elrohir's eyes fluttered in some dream. He raised his hand to brush dark hair away from his twin's face but stopped.
No, he thought, it would not be fair to wake his brother, so slipping quietly into the bathroom, Elladan filled his bath and got into the water and enjoyed the heat.
Elrohir woke with the sound of splashing and rose quickly from the bed to see his twin in the bath, his hair covered in soap.
"Ella!" he cried as he strode to the bath and hugged his twin. "I had not expected you so soon!"
Elladan laughed at the hug his brother gave him, water and soap covering them both.
"We have the elves from Lorien to join to the guards so I returned. It will be a happy day when Glorfindel returns to his duties. It is a shame he had to go to Mirkwood."
Elly pulled back and gazed at Ella. His heart filled with joy to see his brother again. He had missed their chats and his company. It had been a hard few days without him to talk to.
"Too true gwador but you are home now and I am so glad. So much has happened since you left. I do not know where to begin!"
Ella chuckled as Elly exuded happiness from where he knelt on the floor, his arms resting on the bath. He flicked his hand upwards to his soapy hair.
"Well give me time to finish washing dear brother. Hot water is scarce in the borders. Go order some food. Then we can talk."
Elly nodded and stood at once, disappearing around the corner of the doorway. Elladan heard the door shut and smiled.
Yes, it was good to be home.
~*~*~*~
Elrond left the next day, his expression one of regret and pain. Nerie held him tightly and thanked him for his help. He chuckled in reply to say that his `help' had not been so helpful as they had wanted. Nerie smiled softly and nodded, fearing to express the truth in the words. She watched Elrond disappear with the elves that accompanied him, then felt a warm hand on her shoulder. Turning, she saw Arvarno standing before her, his stance formal though his features showing warmth.
"Are you alright?" Arvarno asked, his eyes flickered over the bruises and clenched his hands. Nerie saw the reaction and placed a hand on Arvarno's chest.
"I am fine Arvarno. Please do not worry for me mellon-nin." She glanced downwards quickly, then back upward to those chocolate depths.
"How is Haldir?"
Arvarno shook his head, partly out of disgust and partly out of frustration for not being around when they both needed him.
"He is miserable Nerie. He blames himself and desperately wants to see you. Can you grant his request?"
Nerie shook her head, her stomach knotting at the thought.
"Nay, not today Arvarno but tell him I love him. I need time, `tis all." Came her whispered reply then she glanced down at the letter she held in her fingers.
"Please give him this. It will explain everything to him." Nerie added as she passed the envelope to Arvarno, who sighed but nodded in acceptance. He had feared as much.
"I will tell him, Nerie. Please do not leave it too long. His heart is broken by what he has done."
"I understand Arvarno. Thank you for your kindness and your friendship. I am glad my husband has a friend such as yourself. Please look after him."
Arvarno smiled a gentle smile at the small human woman that stood before him.
"I will. Till later."
"Till later mellon-nin."
~*~*~*~
I gotta have a reason to wake up in the morning
You used to be the one that put a smile on my face
There are no words that could describe how I miss you
and I miss you everyday
yeah
(Daniel Bedingfield – Never gonna leave your side~*~*~*~
Over the next few days Haldir was moved to Arvarno's apartments so that dark elf could keep an eye on the Galadhrim. Arvarno took this duty on willingly but as the hours passed, then the days, the Rivendell March Warden grew more concerned. Haldir had not spoken a single word apart from one-syllable answers. In the end, Arvarno's patience snapped from the tension that had built so one night he decided to play his final card.
The evening was dark, the clouds thick outside covering the surrounding mountains that protected the haven with a thick blanket of mist. The storm brewed above, its thunder rolling low and heavy. A flash of lightening lit up the room as Arvarno glimpsed up from the book he was perusing and saw the fallen warrior slumped in the chair in front of him.
"Talk to me." Arvarno said slowly as his brown eyes held Haldir, who sat opposite him. The candlelight flickered on the dirty blonde elf, his hair unwashed and unkempt and his clothes unchanged though fresh laundry had been offered. He looked as though his soul had been ripped up in front of him and left for dead.
"No." Haldir replied quietly, refusing to return the stare.
"Haldir, things will not get better unless you talk."
"No."
Arvarno sighed loudly and looked at the ceiling as another flash of lightening and a pounding of thunder boomed above. Maybe a change of tact would be good. Glancing back at his friend, he settled into the couch.
"I saw Nerie with Eirien in the gardens this morning." Arvarno glanced at his friend, who had not moved but his eyes did flicker upwards. Ahhh! A reaction!
"Nerie looks a little gaunt for my taste. As though she hasn't been sleeping. Eirien was fractious but soon calmed when I held her."
Haldir's blue grey eyes slid upwards.
"You held Eirien?" he whispered.
Arvarno licked his lips. Maybe he had gone too far but he held himself steadily.
"Yes. She looks well. Maybe it is time you saw Nerie?"
The blonde elf's eyes shot downward much to Arvarno's dismay. Orcs balls!
"No."
"Haldir, why do you not see your wife. It has been nearly five days since the incident. She does not blame you. You read the letter. Go to her." Arvarno murmured, remembering Haldir's look of hope when given the note but then the haunted expression returned once more as Haldir threw the letter absently onto a seat and walked out of the room. Arvarno had read the letter and felt like weeping for them both that day but now was not the time for weeping but for action.
"NO!" Haldir yelled suddenly, rising from the seat and walking to the doorway.
"Where are you going?"
Haldir turned around to look at Arvarno, his face one of bitterness and pain.
"Out Arvarno. I am going for a walk. I need to clear my head from your constant chiding."
Arvarno knew it was better not to follow when Haldir was in this mood. No harm would come to Haldir in the land around Imladris so the dark haired elf sat back and waited.
~*~*~*~
They tell me that a man can lose his mind
Living in the pain
The call in times gone by
The crying in the rain
You know I've wasted half the time
And I'm on my knees again
'till you come to me
(Daniel Bedingfield – Never gonna leave your side)~*~*~*~
Haldir was furious. Frustration coiled into a tightened ball making his throat ache, as he stalked through the woodland surrounding Rivendell, the rain pouring so hard the ground was soon saturated and the falls sounded louder than ever before. Ignoring anyone that he met, Haldir walked uncaring until he realised he was surrounded by cliff on two sides, a sheer drop on one and the woodland behind.
He could go no further.
Haldir, crushed of spirit, fell down hard, the small pebbles dug hard into his knees but the pain went unheeded as his hair stuck to his face unnoticed. It was nothing compared to the agony he felt in his heart.
He missed Nerie, his soul mate, his love. He felt his heart ripping in two, seeing no way to retrieve what they had once had and stared upwards into the heaving clouds as another jag of lightening flashed across the tumulus sky. Tears held for so long began to fall, unseen amongst the water that fell from the dark clouds above.
"WHY ME?" Haldir screamed until his heart hurt against his chest, his breath hoarse against the chill wind.
As he caught his breath, wrenching sobs shuddering his body, Haldir fell forwards into the mud on all fours, his hands clawing into the mire and stone.
"Why me? What have I done?" Haldir whispered hoarsely, eyes shut, spittle falling from his mouth and nose. Sniffing hard, he sat on his haunches and gazed upwards again, his face covered with mud.
"What can I do?" he pleaded to the Valar who seemed not to care.
Soon sobs turned to gentle weeping as Haldir released his frustration and pain. After several long minutes Haldir gasped for breath, wiping wetness from his face. No one could help him; no one could carry this pain for him. He had to face this but how to begin?
Standing slowly, his body shaking, covered in mud and wet to the skin, Haldir made his way unsteadily back to the house of Elrond. As he did, he heard the unmistakable cry of Eirien. He glanced upward to the balcony of Nerie's rooms and his heart clenched. He hated to hear his daughter in distress. Then he heard the soft tones of Nerie as she tried to settle their daughter. After a few moments, Eirien stopped her wail and all was silent.
Haldir stood for long minutes in the rain, its hissing sound of falling water around ignored as he fought against the desperate need to see his family again. It was then that he heard Eirien whimper once more. Shaking his head and pushing pale strands away from his face, the blonde elf slowly made his way up the trellis, his injured arm stronger that it had been but still held some weakness. With a final swing of a leg, he stood on the balcony and glanced into the room. Eirien's whimpers filled the space and Haldir, after a pause, crept into the room and gazed at his daughter, then grabbing a blanket, held her in his arms and nearly cried as he gazed into the blue eyes that looked back with innocence.
Nothing else mattered then, the cold or wet, for Haldir held his elfling in his arms as he sat on the rocking chair and nuzzled his daughters soft downy head against his cheek, the smell of fresh apples filled him with delight. Eirien quietened against her father's touch and gazed quietly at him, her fingers clutching at the wet pale blonde hair. The faint sound of water dripping on the hard wood floor went unnoticed as Haldir smiled and began to hum a song that was sung to him when he was a child. After a few moments, he began to murmur the words under his breath.
"Shine for me, I'll shine for you, Each waking dawn, Each day. Let these words, Please, let this song Take you so Completely. You have the gift of love. You have the gift of life. Take whatever you need. Be the light. For once, be sure. Be the light you are. You are the sound of love. You are the sound of life. Take whatever you need."
It was then that Haldir saw Nerie stood at the doorway, her body outlined against the darkness. He stiffened in the chair and glanced downwards, Eirien was asleep.
"I came for I heard my daughter crying. I am sorry to intrude into your rooms." Haldir murmured, his thoughts held tightly against the wish to hold his wife in his arms. He stood and placed Eirien into her cot and covered her with the soft blanket.
"These are our rooms, Haldir. Besides, Eirien has missed you." Nerie paused as she watched Haldir stand and face her, his clothing covered in filth and soaked to the skin but his face was covered in shadow as she saw the glitter in his eyes and shivered at the intensity of the gaze. "I have missed you too."
"Nerie . . . I . ." Haldir began, taking a step forward, a damp hand outstretched but Nerie took a step back. Haldir's heart curled in on itself and he dropped his arm.
She had rejected him by that one act alone.
"I am sorry for what I have done." He whispered, emotion catching his voice.
Biting his lip to stop the tears from welling, Haldir dropped his head and turned, making his way to the balcony. He felt a warm hand grasp his.
"Haldir. I still love you. I still want you as my husband. We need to work through this and I cannot hide from you anymore. You scared me meleth, you hurt me, though I know it was not your fault. Please, don't leave like this. I need to build my trust in us and I need you to help me do it. Saes, my love."
Haldir turned his face to gaze at the azure eyes that held his own and the tightness around his heart eased a little.
"How can you love me after what I have done, Nerie? Even I cannot love myself. I am not worth your love." Haldir whispered hoarsely.
Nerie placed her small hand onto Haldir's wet cheek and he unconsciously leant into her caress. She saw the dishevelled look upon him, his soaking clothes, his mud covered hair and realised how deeply this had affected them both. Haldir was the one soul to whom she trusted upon all and she had let him suffer over the past few days from her own fears. Fears which, though warrant, held no truth to the fact that Haldir had never wanted to harm her.
"Because I am your wife Haldir. You are my soul mate. I would never leave you. I will never leave you . . . ever. After all we have gone through do you not think that you are not worthy of my love? You have my heart completely, Coramin. No other can compare to what we have." Nerie murmured, her hand slid sideways to tuck dishevelled hair behind Haldir's ear.
"I am yours." Haldir whispered firmly as he covered Nerie's hand with his own.
"As I am yours, Haldir." Nerie replied as she placed her other hand on Haldir's chest and gazed upwards into the pale blue eyes of her love. Though her mind screamed in protest, her heart won the battle. Nerie was not about to give in.
Haldir glanced downwards and placing Nerie's hands together in front of his lips, he kissed them tenderly.
"Then I will go knowing I have your love. I have hope." He replied softly.
Kissing her hands again, his warm lips sliding over her soft skin, Haldir took a deep breath to capture the scent of Nerie so that he could take the memory with him.
"Good night meleth. I will see you tomorrow?"
Nerie nodded, her voice lost at the sensations caused by Haldir's mouth against her fingers.
"Good night Haldir. Aye, I will see you tomorrow."
With a last glance at her beautiful face, her cheeks flushed as her pupils grew dark in the storms light, Haldir ignored the warning tightness in his breeches.
Now was not the time.
He released her hands and turning, made his way out of the apartment, via the door, and onwards towards the baths. The sudden need to be clean invaded his mind and soon he was washed and dressed in clean dry clothing. He then made his way to Arvarno's rooms, his mind reeling at what had just happened.
Arvarno looked up as the blonde warden entered and frowned. Haldir looked different. The whole body stance had changed. When he had left, Haldir positively oozed anger from every pore but now, determination guided his step.
"What have you done?" Arvarno asked as he watched Haldir take a glass and fill it with some wine, then come over to lounge on a couch opposite to where Arvarno sat with his book. Haldir smiled gently.
"I have seen my wife and daughter Arvarno, that is all."
"What!"
The blonde warden eyes flickered with amusement, the first time he had felt any happiness in days.
"I have seen my family. Do not fret, they are safe but Nerie and I have talked, albeit for a few minutes. I can sense her fear of me, even though she tells me she loves me, mellon-nin. I do not want my wife to be frightened of me anymore."
Arvarno shut his open mouth and licked his lips. How did this occur?
"How do you propose you change that Haldir?" he eventually asked as he placed his book on his lap. He was intrigued at the turn of events. Over an hour Haldir had left this apartment a broken elf only to return as one who has hope once more. The Valar had their ways that was for sure!
Haldir chuckled and took a sip of his wine.
"I plan to court her, Arvarno. Something I never got round to doing before we bonded. I plan to court and win her trust again."
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