Title & Chapter Number: Haldir's Redemption 7/9
Author(s): - Author's Index
Fandom: LOTR
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my soul. No money is being made from this story and all rights and privileges belong to the Tolkien Estate.
Warnings: Angst, H/C, Contains assault of a female.
Betas: Beta'd by Hawk....thanks sooooooo much hun!
Cast: Haldir/OFC and most of the elves and fellowship including some of my own characters
Timeline: Just before the fellowship arrives at Lorien and after they leave
Spoilers: LOTR, Two Towers
Summary: Sequel to Haldir's Therapy. Haldir has been injured at Helm's Deep and finds that he needs Nerie more than he thought possible but his stubborness and arrogance gets way too much in the way. Plenty of angst, assault, pain and battery……..and forever love…..all say aaahhhh!!
Notes: Feedback always appreciated. This is an ongoing story.
Chapter 7 – Healing and heartache
It was a late chilled morning that Haldir and Nerie finally made their way to the healing rooms of Imladris. The sharp pale yellow sunlight shone through the windows piercing the gloom of shadows of the stately house. Arvarno was now healing well and was up and about and had popped in that morning for breakfast. Now it was Haldir’s turn to go to the healing rooms.
Turning the last corner into the large open room, he saw Lord Elrond dropping a few drips of dark essence from a small bottle in his hand into a glass of clear water. The drops instantly disappeared. When Haldir coughed quietly to draw attention to himself. Lord Elrond turned his head, his dark hair glinted like black ebony, and a small tug of a smile flickered over the edge of his lips.
“Come in Haldir . . . ” His grey eyes glanced and nodded at Nerie. “. . . Nerie, I have been expecting you. Are you ready for your final battle Haldir of Lorien? Are you now ready to face what stops you healing? For this will not only be a cleansing of skin and bone, but also the soul. Are you ready to finally face the truth?”
Haldir nodded as he felt Nerie’s small hand tighten in his own and inwardly smiled at the concern. She had not voiced her fear to him but he felt it keenly. But he would be fine wouldn’t he? Turning slightly he placed a callused palm on her cheek, his thumb absently rubbing her soft tanned skin.
“You know I have to do this. You have been through everything with me. Let me take this last step?” Haldir murmured as he gently brushed his lips over hers. As he did, he felt her hands tighten on his tunic.
“I will always be there for you. I will wait until you return to me.” Nerie whispered.
Haldir nodded, kissed Nerie again, more possessively than the last, then released her and watched his wife disappear down the decorated hallway and back to the house, her long blonde hair loose around her shoulders, the ends catching the sunlight making her hair shimmer. She had been so brave, so supportive despite his outbursts and dark moods. How would he cope without her? Who would be there for him when he woke at night after repeating nightmares? Who would hold him and help to take the pain away? He needed Nerie as much as he needed air to breath. Shaking his head, Haldir shook himself out of that mindset and focused on what was at hand.
Resolved to take this last step, Haldir clenched his teeth together and turned to face the waiting Lord.
“I am ready.” Haldir’s voice sure and steady.
Elrond smiled warmly and offered the bed to the blonde elf who stood before him.
‘Come and undress Haldir, your tunic only please. Good. Now drink this,”
Haldir eyed the mixture uncertainly.
“Drink!” Elrond insisted. “It will make you sleep. You do not want to be awake when I do your healing. The pain will be too great.”
Haldir nodded and took the goblet from the healers hands and swallowed the mixture in two gulps. Grimacing at the bitter taste, the blonde elf placed the glass down on the table and sat on the offered bed. Feeling the chill wind of a new spring in the air, Haldir shivered as the breeze caressed his flesh, making his skin tingle. His eyes became heavy as did his body. The slow tendrils of sleep eased into his body and he yawned.
He heard Elrond order him to lay on his front and he did as he was bid, the cotton fabric of the cover of the mattress soft against his chest as he placed his head on surface of the bed. He felt strong hands, that of a warrior but soften due to lack of action, smooth his hair away from his neck and shoulders and shivered again.
Haldir blinked, his struggle against sleep increasing at an alarming rate. Would he ever come out of this alive? At that thought, Haldir tensed, doubting his sanity in allowing this to happen. It was then he heard a soft voice in his ear, deep but steady.
“Sleep mellon-nin. You are safe.”
Haldir heard no more…..
Lord Elrond shook his head at the resilience of the elf that lay prone on the cot before him. Haldir had drunk enough Valerian to knock out an oliphant and still he fought the sleep making Elrond use the ways of elvish magic to allow the warden to drift into the sleep of deep reverie. Now he could begin.
Turning, he nodded to another healer who hid behind the curtains. His dark hair mirroring that of his fathers.
“I feared he would not sleep Ada.” The younger healer said as he padded silently over the stone floor of the room.
Elrond chuckled deeply at his son. “This is Haldir, Elly. He has many qualities I most admire in an elf and being able to fight was always one of them. I expected nothing less. Now help me. This will take long enough as it is. I need to be gone in two days time. I want him awake by then.”
Elrohir nodded as he brought a bowl of steaming water and watched as his father opened a chest with small knifes placed in it. Carefully picking one particular implement, the Lord of Imladris gazed at it carefully. Placing the knife down on the table, Elrond took off his long sleeved over coat, then proceeded to roll up his sleeves and wash his hands in the bowl of water Elrohir held. Drying his hands, Elrond watched his son repeat his actions until they both stood beside Haldir. Elrond held the knife. Elrohir looked at his father, stomach knotting at what had to be done and nodded.
“After you father. . .”
After an hour Elrond finally found what had been missed. A ligament had been torn from its perch making the shoulder weak. In turn, the arm could not be lift or wield heavy objects. Muscles near the neck bore scar tissue making the wound knit tighter, the muscles in the arm withering without use. Soon all was made well, muscles healed, ligaments made solid again and Elrond sighed as he knitted the last of the pale flesh together with small delicate stitches. Now it was time for the mind.
Glancing at his son, Elrond washed his hands yet again, removing the blood that stained his fingers. Once clean and dry, those same fingers were placed on Haldir’s temple
“Now tell me mellon-nin. What else stops your healing?” Elrond whispered to the sleeping elf.
The air grew silent apart from the sounds of breathing as Elrond frowned, lips tightening with increased frustration. A few more seconds passed and the healer pulled back with disgust.
“I cannot touch what he has buried. I do not know what he fears the most but I sense it has something to do with Nerie.” Elrond sighed as he got up from his crouched position. It was now late afternoon and the late winter light was fading, the sun setting below the mountains that surrounded the haven.
“You are tired Ada. Let the elf rest. I have another healer who will stay with him and continue where we have started. By tomorrow, the physical healing should be done.”
Elrond nodded, his head suddenly heavy through the constant effort over the past few hours. Healing always seems harder to do and now that he knew that the one ring had been destroyed, he felt his own weaken. The hold of elves and their protective power was weakening quickly over middle earth and now he had to fight his own battling emotions with his daughter marrying Estel, Aragorn, son of Arathorn. He would face that nightmare of losing his daughter to a human. A nightmare he thought he would never have to face again after losing his twin.
Rubbing his face with both his hands, he felt a comforting hand on his shoulder and turned to see his son, Elrohir, smile at him. Despite his heavy heart, he smiled wanly back and patted his son’s hand with his own.
“Come . . . “ Elrond murmured as he rolled his shoulders, “Let us get something to eat.”
Elrohir nodded then called for the other healer who he knew to be sitting in the preparation room next door. The blonde elf came into the room and nodded to both the dark haired elves.
“My lords?”
Elrohir jerked his head over to Haldir.
“Watch for us Mirivan. I will be back soon.”
The blonde healer nodded and promptly sat next to the sleeping Lorien elf and touched his skin to check on the patient. Mirivan never saw Elrond and his son leave.
~*~*~*~
Later that evening, Erestor brought Nerie to see Haldir. He still slept in deep reverie. She nodded to Elrohir who stood up to allow Nerie to sit next to her husband. Hearing murmurs behind her, Nerie ran her fingers through familiar pale hair and gently kissed the naked alabaster skin of his shoulder, noting the pungent plant dressing that lay over a new cut.
“You cut him?” Nerie whispered, her face paled as she pulled back and nervously ran a finger near the edge.
Looking up, she saw Elrohir standing by her, his hair swept back away from his face, tied in a basic plait. He crouched down next to her and placed a hand on her knee the warmth of which soaked through her dress onto her chilled skin. Dark eyes gazed into her own and Nerie shivered at the intensity.
“We had to tend to wounds that would not have healed. We needed a direct route but do not be concerned. This wound will heal so that you will hardly see a scar.”
Nerie nodded, then wrinkled her nose as the pungent smell of the herbs that lay on Haldir’s back.
“And this?”
Elrohir looked at the healing plants and smiled.
“It is for pain. A strong mixture to help heal with minimal discomfort, tis all.”
Nerie nodded as she gazed back to Haldir. His face in such a peaceful repose that Nerie longed for him to wake so that she may show him that he was not alone. A single tear ran down her cheek unchecked but she cared not who saw it.
Haldir was her life. If he died . . . .if she lost him . . .
Another tear fell from her eyes as she absently stroked his hair.
“Mela amin lle Haldir,” She whispered hoarsely, hoping that he heard her. “Mela amin lle.”
It was then that she felt strong fingers lift her and hold her tightly and despite herself, Nerie allowed herself to be comforted. Warm hands stroked her hair, her back as she sobbed, partly out of fear and partly out of relief. Now what would happen?
“He will live Nerie and he will become strong yet again. Please do not fear the darkness for the light shines bright in this one.” A voice murmured reassuringly.
As Nerie calmed, she wiped her eyes and gazed upward and gasped. Erestor, not Elrohir held her. This elf had been elusive, almost to the point of rudeness since the first day they had met each other. She did not understand why he now held her in his arms. He smiled warmly, a feature that sat quite at odds with the usual stony look she gained from him over the last few days.
“I do things for necessity my dear but never doubt that I do not care for others. I am a counsellor first and foremost and that means to understand the bigger picture and not let things get to close so that I am distracted,” Erestor paused as he glanced at Haldir, then back at Nerie, as his hand came up and cupped her under the chin. “Though, it seems that you and your family, Nerie, have changed that. Maybe I am getting to old and slipping eh?”
Elrohir chuckled at that.
“You are not old pen-neth.” He teased to which Erestor laughed, his arms loosening their hold on Nerie but still an arm casually dwelt over her shoulder.
“I will give you pen-neth child. I am older than your father!”
Elrohir smiled at the Noldor elf that stood before him. How he loved to tease his mentor!
“And now I believe it is late, your child will be calling for you I am sure lirimaer. Go to your daughter and soothe away her fears. Your husband will be safe.”
Nerie nodded and smiled at the elves that stood before her. Both dark, both tall and both extremely kind. Nerie bent over and gently brushing his blonde hair away from his face gave Haldir a long kiss gentle on the forehead.
“Till later a’maelamin.” She whispered, then with a final nod to the dark elves who stood before her, Nerie made her way to their rooms and the elleth that was looking after Eirien.
Erestor looked at Elrohir and saw the young elf slump his shoulders. The counsellor knew that the young lord had been at the healing rooms all day and smiled gently.
“Go pen-neth. I will watch.”
Elrohir raised an eyebrow that Erestor chuckled at. How like his father he had become.
“Are you sure?”
“Aye. Go! Rest! I know you are not far if I need you or if you feel the need to check.”
Elrohir nodded his thanks and left silently leaving a sleeping elf and the counsellor of Rivendell alone in the healing rooms.
“Now,” Erestor mused as he gazed around the rooms and spotting the books that lay there. “What can I read?”
~*~*~*~
Haldir lay, his body immobile for the moment as his conscious slowly became more aware of his body and the new invasion that had been part of the healing and mentally screamed. Darkness surrounded him and Haldir fought to gain some point of reference to gain his thoughts. Fighting an increasing rush of panic, Haldir fought for control of his mind but he could not gain control of his body. What had they done to him? Would he be like this forever?
He struggled to move his body but it would not obey despite his repeated attempts. Frustrated beyond the point of reason, he screamed silently again and mentally fought for control. After a few moments, Haldir stopped fighting and allowed the darkness to enclose him, welcoming the oblivion like a blanket of peace.
As his mind calmed, his memory replayed things he had heard, snippets of conversations. Nerie’s voice! Haldir concentrated harder, his mind focusing so hard he raged in increasing bafflement. How can it be that he could hear and not move or speak?
A male voice cut through his anger.
“Never doubt I do not care . . .”
Who was that?
“Your child will be calling for you as I am . . .Lirimaer”
Haldir listened more intently.
A softer voice, a voice he knew as deeply as his own, whispered seemingly back to the voice.
“Till later a’maelamin.”
An aching sharpness pierced through his heart as Haldir heard those words which had been spoken in love. Now was it all lost? Had he lost the one thing that had kept him sane, kept him from following his brothers in arms to the halls of Mandos?
As he mulled over what he heard, so Haldir felt a deep anger building inside him. Loathing and deep loneliness knotted and curled in on itself until it could no longer be held any longer.
Nerie was his!
~*~*~*~
Erestor was awoken by the creak of the cot as Haldir stood unsteady at first, then more firmly. Through half opened eyes, the counsellor watched as the blonde warden gazed at the full moon as if in a daze, then a glimmer shone from his eyes, a look of feral hunting took over that Erestor had to stop his self from shivering. What was Haldir up to? Slowly he made his way behind Haldir, stopping first to get Elrohir and Elrond.
Haldir left the rooms and quietly made his way to the shared apartments. His mind felt muddled as if his sanity struggled, his mind tossing and turning about what he had heard. Was Nerie unfaithful to him? But with whom?
In his confused state, Haldir could not have told one soft male voice from another but it did not matter who it was with. It mattered more that Nerie was no longer the anchor of his heart.
The blonde elf felt weak and leant against a pillow for support, the cold marble cooling on his forehead. He felt dizzy and unsure of his surroundings for a moment and as Haldir gazed into the gloom of the night, his sharp eyes perceived that he was near his own lodging.
Standing unsteadily again as the drugs still dwelt in his blood and confused his mind, he pushed the door open and silently crept into the apartment, then into their bedroom and saw Nerie asleep in bed alone. He darkened skin was a stark contrast to the paleness of the sheet and for a second Haldir felt love for her.
His actions paused, Haldir’s mind in turmoil but his anger rolled onwards demanding revenge, swift retribution for someone who had taken away the one thing he held more dear than his own life. Her soft form lay snuggled against a pillow as if she craved comfort. Haldir snorted…yes…crave comforted indeed.
Leaning over the young girl, Haldir placed a sudden hand over Nerie’s mouth, clamping her jaw shut before she had chance to scream as she woke with a start, her eyes wide with increasing alarm.
“Mae Govannen wife. You did not expect me to be here did you?”
Nerie turned as much as she could to see Haldir, his face contorted in rage and Nerie felt the first tremble of terror as her hands went up to cover his but could not release his grip. Haldir sneered at the scene before him, his so called faithful wife shaking in fear. Then it must be true. She had been unfaithful if she feared him. Holding her shoulder with his other hand, his eyes stared hungrily over her naked form.
“I heard your words lirimaer.” Haldir spat as his hand slid from her shoulder and brought it roughly against her breast, bruising the flesh and Nerie squealed in pain as she struggled against his unwanted advance. The hand over her mouth pushed her further into the pillow to silence her.
“Quiet!! I will make you mine fore morning comes Nerie. I will show you that you need no other!” Haldir hissed.
Haldir continued his rough strokes causing Nerie to fight back, to twist her body in anguish and desperation as her hands clawed themselves over Haldir’s arms and body. Never had she felt such pain in the hands of the only person she had ever loved.
How could he do this to her? What was wrong with him? What had she done?
Tears streamed down Nerie’s face as his fingers slid lower and dived into the apex of her thighs. Nerie screamed in agony as she tried to hurl her body away from him while Haldir’s rough hands groped for her. Realising what was about to happen, Nerie found her inner strength and began to fight for her life. Lashing out with her legs and arms, she tried to stop her husband’s cruelty but it seemed to only make Haldir more furious as he held her, pinning her arms down onto the bed. Nerie leant upwards and bit his arm so hard she could taste his blood on her tongue.
Haldir hissed, pulled away suddenly then slapped her face, causing blood to pool in her mouth from a cut lip as red handprint to raise itself crudely from her cheek and her lip began to swell. He then pulled Nerie up so that she sat sobbing against him and Haldir laughed mirthlessly.
“I will show you what it is to be mine Nerie. No other shall touch you after tonight.”
It was then that Haldir realised that there was someone behind him. Turning his head sharply, he felt a sharp crack upon his skull and knew no more, slumping heavily against Nerie who screamed for all she was worth. Eirien’s short shrieks joined her mothers, filling the air with distress.
Strong arms picked Haldir from her and dumped him upon the end of the bed, face upwards, a large bruise on his temple showed where he had been struck. It was then that strong arms encircled Nerie and allowed her to cry her release from such an attack. Elrond sighed. He had NOT expected this.
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