Title & Chapter Number: Brothers Lament, Healers Loss 1/1
Author(s): - Author's Index
Fandom: Tolkien
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I own nothing but these characters are mine.
Warnings: Get your hankies!
Betas: Alex
Cast: own characters
Timeline: Helms Deep
Spoilers: TTT Movieverse, maybe
Summary: An elf has touched a healers heart and a twin suffers loss.
Notes: This is my interpretation of the hurt that healers feel.
Pain and sorrow, grief and joy
My fingers gently teased the mud from his hair, his beautiful pale silken hair. How such monstrous hatred could deeply wound such a beautiful creature was beyond my thinking. Chaos surrounded us, but it went unheeded. So many had fallen yesterday and now here I sat next to the most handsome of beings, his breath shallow, his eyes open, as was the want of elves. He was dying and there was nothing that anyone could do, and if this were a man, I would have left him to die so that I could attend the living but with this elf, I could not. He deserved more than to be left alone for his grace held my eyes as my hands slid through his wonderful hair.
I gazed down to the face, noting the bluest of blue, large set eyes that held a glimpse of vacantness, all that was to show as this elf slept. His nose was straight, elegant and handsome, his cheeks high but not overtly prominent. His lips, oh, his lips were full and so beautifully curved and captured his features. I was sure he would have been a wonderful lover with those delicious lips.
The mud was gone but his hair shone dull in the gloom of the huge cavern used for the infirmary. Screams and crying of those dying and those who grieved with loss pierced through the darkness of my thoughts and I glanced up so see nothing but dirt, blood and gore. The cold stone was cold against my legs as knelt against the cot that the elf had been placed upon. There must be more to life than suffering.
In my twenty years of life, I had known little happiness. Only my brother remained with me, as both parents had died a few years before. As I watched such waste of life that surrounded me, I was glad that they had died then, for my father would not have tolerated what had happened today and would have been amongst the fallen.
My trailing thoughts were brought back as my patient coughed. I placed a comforting hand on his forehead and felt a damp coolness that had not been there before. It was then that I saw he was gazing at me, his azure eyes shimmering in the torchlight.
"Who are you?" the elf croaked and I blushed.
"My name is Miriam. My friends call me Miri. I am your healer."
The blonde elf shut his eyes and I thought I had said too much. Then he opened them again, hint of warmth haunting those blue depths.
"My name is Mairdhron. I would like some water, saes?"
I nodded, warmth filling my body for the first time in days. Mairdhron…such a seductive name. Picking up a wooden goblet filled with clean water that lay next to my legs, I lifted it up to the parched lips of the blonde elf and, with some assistance, helped him drink his fill.
"Hannon lle."
I frowned at the odd language, strangely erotic on his tongue, which brought shivers of delight through my body. How could one elf do such things to me was beyond my reckoning.
"Pardon?"
The elf's lips twitched. Was that a smile I saw?
"It means thank you in your tongue." Mairdhron's voice seemed too hoarse for my liking and as I gazed at him, assessing his colour I saw his skin had that yellow tinge that indicated death was near. My heart swelled with a sudden panic. I had seen death many times before but this was new. I had never seen an elf pass before and this one had captured my heart. I had not realised until that moment and now tears fell down my cheeks at the thought of the sudden loss of this handsome, gentle, being who lay before me.
I could not help but let out a strangled sob as I closed my eyes, hot tears pouring down my dirty cheeks as my throat ached through a want to scream in frustration and pain. It was then that I felt the warmth of a hand on my cheek and I leant into it for I needed comfort. As my eyes fluttered open, I saw Mairdhron's sapphire eyes gaze at me, compassion on his exquisite features.
"Why do you cry?" he whispered as his thumb rubbed my damp skin and I tingled in delight at the pleasure it brought me.
"You do not deserve to die. You should not be here. This was not your fight." I whispered harshly.
Mairdhron's head shook slowly.
"The fate of Middle Earth connects us all vanyaer. I was proud to fight alongside your kinfolk. We won, did we not?"
More tears fell at that comment. I had lost so many friends in this hell that was called Helm's Deep that I thought my heart had turned to stone. But that was before I came across this elf and now I sat on my haunches, my arm draped across his chest as my fingers stroked the smooth, bare skin and saw that the blood that soaked through his bandages and I suddenly felt so useless.
"Shhhh mellon-nin. Do no cry for those who have passed. They cannot be hurt anymore." The elf added as he wiped my tears away with his fingers.
My bottom lip quivered as I forced the tears to stop and gently held the hand that graced itself upon my cheek.
"You should not die. I do not want you to die, Maidrhron, I want you to live!" I replied hoarsely as new tears threatened to fall.
I felt his hand slip around to the back of my head and Mairdhron pulled me to his chest. I felt the fleeting warmth of his body against my cheek and felt the struggle he had to breathe.
"I am not afraid of dying, Miri. I am afraid of dying alone." He whispered.
I raised my head to gaze at the beautiful Galadhrim that lay under me, his eyes never leaving mine and new tears fell down my reddened cheeks.
"You will not be alone. I will not leave you, Mairdhron. I won't leave you." I choked though the tears.
I saw the most stunning smile aimed at me as Mairdhron pulled me back onto his chest.
"Then I die happy, Miri. I know I have someone who will not leave me. I just wish I could have known you better."
I cried harder into the warmth of his chest as his arms surrounded my body and despite the tears, I could smell the scent of the forest that lay on his skin as I moved my head up to his face. It was then that I felt the grip loosen on my body and the last breath pass between his beautiful lips. His blue eyes held no glimmer of life.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I wailed
I raised my face, my tears falling onto the peaceful face of my elf, my unknown love, the taker of my heart and saw that he had indeed passed.
"No!" I moaned as I pushed my face onto his, then kissed his cheeks, his lips, his eyes and felt the saltiness of a tear alongside the ridge of his lashes.
It was then I felt a rough hand grasp my shoulder.
"Come, there is plenty of living to deal with. Leave the dead." The voice was like gravel, harsh to my ears.
I glance at an elder I once knew, but my heart did not care anymore. I shrugged his hand away and gazed back down at Mairdhron but he was gone. He had left me behind.
I stood shakily, not knowing quite what to do or where to go. I needed to run, get away, to grieve. It was so unfair that someone so gentle had been taken. How could the fates do this him? He did not deserve to die.
I ran from the keep, past the crowds of people and elves but I didn't care. I needed time alone and I found it, up into the furthest reaches of the wall and behind rubble that lay there, I fell down onto the cold hard stone and sobbed, uncaring if anyone found me. I needed time alone.
It was after many minutes that my chest constricted, making me stop to breathe my fill of the dirty air that surrounded the castle. This so called impregnable defence. Hah! How arrogant my kinsmen had been to think this was unbreachable by the evil that lurked in this land.
It was then as I wiped my eyes, that I saw booted feet before me. Shivering from exertion and emotion, I looked up slowly to see an elf, a mirror image of Mairdhron and I screamed, thinking my mind had finally twisted and made me mad. I scrabbled backwards until the solid stone held me and I could go no further. The elf did not move.
"You are not real, you are not real, you are not real." My voice harsh, my throat sore from weeping.
"Miriam?"
The soft voice held my mind and I looked into those azure depths.
"I have come to thank you for looking after my brother, Mairdhron. I could tell you cared for him."
My eyes grew wide at this knowledge. Brother?
"He did not deserve to die." I whispered, unsure how to act..
At that, the elf slumped and sat down besides me, his face one of sorrow as his long blonde hair slid around the armour that he wore. Beautiful armour, elegant and graceful, like the one it adorned.
"Nay, he did not and now I am alone Miri. I have lost my twin." His voice caught as I saw tears fall down that beautiful face and I understood. I was not the only one that had been affected by Mairdhron's death and I felt selfish and shallow.
"He was not alone and he was glad of that." I murmured as I felt a fleeting blush colour my cheeks.
The blonde elf nodded as he wiped his face and glanced skywards.
"I know," he paused and looked at me. "I saw you."
I wiped my face; sure to smear the dirt that lay on my skin but I cared not. I had a longing to hold this elf that now sat dejected in front of me but unsure of what to do, I placed my hand on his instead.
"He was a kind elf, your brother. I had only known him for a short while but he made an impact. I shall miss him more than I dare admit."
At that, the galadhrim gazed at me, eyes shimmering in the evening light.
"He was my twin. I shall always be lost without him. What do I do now? How can I go on? I have lost half of myself!" he cried, raw emotion ripping through his body making him shudder in front of me.
At that my heart felt for him as I knelt up and enclosed him in my arms as we both released our sorrow and pent up anger. So much had happened over the last few days that the relief to be alive and the loss and death of those we loved hit us both hard. As the tears subsided, I kissed the elf on the forehead as I sniffled, his arms still around my waist. He pulled back slightly and gazed up at me, his deep blue eyes shimmering from unshed tears.
"You are a wonderful spirit, Miri. How can it be that you can affect myself and my brother?"
I shook my head at the question.
" I do not know," I sniffed again, "I am but a human trying to survive the evil here."
I felt arms releasing me and I sat back on my haunches and gazed at the beautiful elf that now sat and gazed at me. Then his hand came up to rest upon my cheek and I closed my eyes, thankful for the warmth for the wind had now grown chilled and I shivered. The hand was instantly removed and I opened my eyes to see him removing his cloak and placing it about my shoulders.
"My name is Maethron. I want to continue what my brother started. I want to know you better." He murmured as he shuffled back so that he sat against the wall, his arms open to me and I sank into his embrace, my head resting on his chest, his armour hard against my skin.
"I feel the Valar have sent you to me to make me live Miri. You are the one who can make my soul heal." I heard his voice, gentle and sure, as he bent down to kiss my head. I felt suddenly so tired, so I snuggled further upwards into the warmth of his neck.
"I am a healer, Maethron. It is what I do." I yawned; the sorrow diminishing to a tolerable state for the time being and I knew that I had found some peace for now….
……in the arms of an elf.
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