Title & Chapter Number: The Wake of a Mistake 1/3
Author(s): - Author's Index
Website: Hith a Naur
Fandom: Tolkien
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not own LotR or any characters, lands, or items from the Tolkien world. They belong to their respective copyright holders.
Warnings:
Betas: Silvara & Menel
Cast: Legolas/Haldir
Timeline: TA
Spoilers: Nope
Summary: Haldir has come as Legolas hoped, but is the Prince ready to love again, even if it is his first love that asks for it?
Notes: This is the sequel to "Anywhere On My Own", and this is dedicated to Menel as well. She inspired this fic, helped me along with it and I hope it helps make the storyline feel more complete than leaving our dear Prince hanging like I did in the previous fic. ^^
"Forgot all about yesterday
Remembering,
I'm pretending to be where I'm not anymore
A little taste of hypocrisy
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake
Slow to react
Even though you're so close to me
You're still so distant
And I can't bring you back"
With You -- Linkin Park~*~*~*~
"You said you believed you had found an answer to my question, Prince. I have come to hear it." Haldir smiled at the half-dressed, shocked Elf before him. He had dreamed of Legolas for centuries, had burned for the archer from the moment he had met him. It was only his age and honor that kept him from taking Legolas into his bed all those years ago, but now... Now, Legolas had once more given him an open invitation.
"Haldir," came the breathless greeting.
"Aye, my Lord, I have come."
Legolas stepped back, inviting the taller Elf into his room. "I thought..."
Haldir smirked in his direction. "That I would not come? Oh, Prince, you do not know how long I have waited for the chance to rectify a mistake I made." Haldir produced from the pocket of his tunic a folded piece of parchment, presenting the sheet to Legolas.
Legolas unfolded the paper and the Prince's handwriting was visible. It was the simple letter he had sent months previous, in hopes that Haldir would come to him. He looked up from the letter. "A mistake?" Legolas' eyes clouded with confusion, but Haldir only chuckled.
"We can discuss that later. It is late and I only wanted to inform you that I have come. I will stay in Minas Tirith as long as you have need of me. Rumil and Orophin will be joining me shortly. I wished to ride ahead of them; my need to see you was that great." He brought his hand up to the Prince's cheek and inhaled his fresh, woodland scent. He gazed into eyes so deep and so blue as to rival the cloudless summer sky.
Looking into that kindhearted gaze, into eyes still radiating an innocence the heir of Eryn Lasgalen had not lost, Haldir was taken back to a late summer afternoon when he first set eyes upon the beauty of Legolas Thranduilion.
~*~*~*~
Lothlórien, Third Age 1984
Haldir stood in the bough of one of the great trees on the edge of Lórien's lands. His eyes looked into the distance, toward the north, and watched. After a few moments, he saw the standards of King Thranduil and the large escort behind them. The warriors created a diamond pattern, the center being the young Prince. Haldir sighed. Somehow he, the Captain of his Lord's soldiers, was to look after Thranduil's heir. Celeborn had insisted that it be Haldir who would befriend the Wood Elf and when Haldir had asked why it was so important received a shock. It seemed that Legolas was Celeborn's niece's grandson.
The Sinda's head still spun from that one. He let out a deep breath as he leapt from his perch, landing silently on the soft ground below. The entourage would enter the wood within a few moments and Haldir sent up an owl-hoot to his men with the order to fan out among the tall, thick trees and follow them closely.
Haldir stood tall among the wooded backdrop, his hair pulled into neat, even warrior plaits, cloak fluttering in the light breeze and his eyes dark and calculating. He was an unusual Elf among the Sindarin population living in the Golden Wood. He had the pale, almost silver hair that even his Lord possessed, but his eyes were dark. In all his long years, he had met only one other Elf who shared the same shadowy eyes as he: Erestor of Imladris. His lips curved into a slight smile as he of thought his friend in the valley of Rivendell. He needed to petition Celeborn for some time away; he missed his dear friend.
His smile disappeared when the group of Elves came within the boundaries of the magical wood. He placed his hand over his heart and bowed slightly when the Elf at the center of the escort rode forth to speak with him. "My Lord," he addressed, raising his gaze to the mounted archer.
Haldir felt his heart leap in his chest when he met the compassionate, liquid gaze of eyes that sparkled like sapphires. The Prince's hair, the color of honeyed-wheat, floated lightly about him, dancing playfully in the gentle wind and was almost aglow in the late afternoon light. On the flaxen crown of his head, Legolas wore a simple mithril diadem, wrought in gentle curves and twists. This was the only true indication of his status among the other Elves, for he wore only plain green and grey traveling clothes and an unadorned brown cloak. After living for three Ages, Haldir felt that it took quite a lot to impress him. The air with which the Wood Elf carried himself with, the gentle authority he radiated, brought an immediate sense of respect from Haldir. He no longer thought the prospect of spending time with the younger Elf as a burden, but as a chance to honestly befriend the kind-looking Sinda.
Looking up at the serene Elf, Haldir chuckled to himself. The look upon the Prince's face spoke volumes. He was just as interested in the ebony-eyed warrior as Haldir was in him.
"Lord Haldir." The musical voice floated on the wind and Haldir smiled.
"I have not been referred to by that title in many a year, my Prince. Here, in the wood of Lord Celeborn, I am simply a warrior."
Legolas offered Haldir a blinding smile. "One is never 'simply' a warrior, mellonen. Your deeds have travelled even so far as my father's court, Captain. Do not do yourself such an injustice as to discount your title. It is well earned."
Haldir bowed his head slightly to acknowledge the compliment. "Your Highness is too kind. We will be unable to reach the city before nightfall, but if you will follow me, there are several telain but a few leagues ahead."
Legolas nodded and remained at the head of his escort. Haldir turned from the Prince and his company, taking point and leading them through the dappled paths of Lórien's outer woods.
~*~*~*~
Legolas' eyes were glazed and his lips parted and moist. Haldir calmed his thoughts, kissing Legolas' cheek softly. "Idho mae, ernilen," he whispered as he pulled away from the Wood Elf. "Tirathon le ned i aur."
The archer nodded and Haldir could feel the heat of his gaze as he exited the room. Haldir leaned against the door after he closed it, taking a deep breath and willing his heart to slow. It had been well over two decades since he had seen Legolas, and to be in such an intimate position so soon... Haldir had not been prepared for what Legolas' presence could still do to him.
The elder Elf shook his head and set off down the hall toward his guest chamber. He had promised Arwen that he would have breakfast with her and her family as a means of atonement for having been absent for both her second daughter's and her son's birth. The Queen could be very persuasive; he had already told her he wished to spend the day with his Prince. She would hear none of it.
Typical, he thought as he entered his room.
~*~*~*~
Arwen did not stop at a single breakfast with Haldir and Legolas. She insisted the two wayward Elves spend each meal dining with the royal family. Mornings were spent with Arwen and her daughters playing games in the gardens, while late afternoons were wiled away teaching the girls to ride their horses with Aragorn. After supper, Arwen and Aragorn would bid them goodnight and leave them to watch the children until the governess would fetch the sleepy babes.
It was only then that the two old friends would have any time together alone. But, the only thing they had the energy for, after hours of tending to Arwen's offspring, was a quick walk to the Wood Elf's room where Haldir would whisper a few tender words in Legolas' ear before shutting the Prince's bedroom door and retiring to his own bed. This went on for three days before Arwen gave them a reprieve.
Haldir mounted his horse and looked over his shoulder at Legolas. They had decided to ride to the banks of the Anduin and have a late afternoon meal before returning to their duties as 'uncles' -- as Aragorn affectionately called them. It would take them only half an hour to reach the spot Legolas had chosen for their luncheon.
They dismounted and Haldir watched as Legolas looked wistfully about them. "What does this place mean to you, meldir?" he asked, folding his legs beneath him as he sat on the warm grass.
Legolas joined him, bringing the small basket with him and the bottle of wine. "It was here, speaking with Arod, that I decided to travel the lands," he said sadly. "I miss Arod. He was a good and faithful mount. When we passed through Fangorn, I sent Arod back to Eomer. He had seen the worst of battles and most certainly deserved to live out his days in comfort in the royal stable. Which," he flashed a dazzling smile at Haldir, "he did. My current mount is his son. Just as faithful and just as true."
Haldir nodded, returning the smile, and they shared several moments of silence, listening to the rushing waters of the Great River. Legolas pulled out simple, rustic wooden goblets and poured them both wine from the tinted bottle. "A vintage Ada sent me not too long ago," he offered and sipped his drink.
"These past few days have been tiring, have they not?" Haldir asked, looking into his cup.
Legolas nodded. "I love the children as perhaps you would love a child of Orophin's, but they are more trouble than I ever thought something so small could be." He shook his head, turning laughing eyes on the elder Elf. "I do believe I dislike children. I suppose it serves me right, preferring those of my own gender. Children are a moot point for me."
Haldir nodded and continued to sip his wine.
~*~*~*~
The children ran between them, circling the Prince and his Guardian with ribbons and laughter. Haldir smiled down at the small creatures and looked into Legolas' eyes. "Elflings."
Legolas laughed. "Aye. I remember the light-hearted flights of fancy my younger brothers and I would have during Echuir."
"Do you ever wish to have children of your own, meldir?" They resumed their walk and Haldir's eyes drifted time and time again to the fair face of the Prince.
Legolas chewed his lip slightly as he did when he was thinking deeply about something. Haldir found the habit endearing and longed to reach over and kiss the slightly swollen bottom lip when Legolas was through abusing it. "I believe I would. I have never been around children for an extended period of time, other than my siblings, but I would think a family would be lovely. Though, I do not believe I shall have one."
"Why is that?" Haldir felt his brow furrow when Legolas stopped walking to look up through the boughs of the tall mellryn. Finally, serious indigo eyes turned to his and Legolas closed the space between them.
"Because, beriadiren, I have very little interest in the activity which would produce the family I would like."
Haldir, for all his years, felt a slight blush creep across his cheeks. He could not believe he had missed all the little hints of Legolas' preference. Now that the Elf had let Haldir know his desires, in no uncertain terms, Haldir could piece the events over the last few weeks together. He sensed conflicted emotions and thoughts coming from the Mirkwood heir when he focused on Legolas, but he had not thought that he could have been the center of that internal turmoil. Haldir looked from the hypnotic gaze and the flood of desire he felt in the younger Elf.
"And what of your father?" he asked and began to walk back toward the royal talan where the Prince was housed.
"What of him?" came the confused, slightly dejected response.
"Does he agree with your... choice? You are the eldest child, which makes you the heir to his kingdom should he ever pass to the West or meet his end here in Arda. As the heir, it would be up to you to take a wife and produce an heir yourself."
Legolas laughed. "Ada has two other sons and a daughter, beriadiren. The order of birth means little to him. I have spent most of my two thousand years roaming the lands and defending Mirkwood. I am a warrior, not a statesman. My youngest brother, he fell right into the order of things at court." Legolas shook his head. "Ada must have found the arrangement to his liking. He has stopped hounding me about my duties to Mirkwood and he no longer shows disappointment in my middle brother's choice to become a Healer and study with Lord Elrond." He looked into Haldir's eyes. "Ada believes that his children should do as their hearts bid them, and mine does not lead me to a throne and to a family."
Haldir swallowed visibly. "Where does it lead you, then, ernil vain?"
A cool hand rested against his hot cheek and Haldir closed his eyes, leaning into the gentle caress. "It led me to the Golden Wood, in search of shadowed obsidian and mithril in the moonlight..." he whispered. "I dream of you, beriadir." Haldir could feel the young Sinda's sweet breath near his lips, could hear the soft rushing of his thoughts -- stronger now because of the physical contact and the open nature of Legolas' heart, and he wanted to give in to his desire to embrace Legolas and take him to the ground.
Instead, he took a step back, his soul crying out at the loss of contact with Legolas, and smiled sorrowfully at the hurt he saw in the Prince's eyes. "I know what it is you would wish for, Legolas," he said, his tone compassionate and sad. "Know that I would give it to you were I able to. You are so much younger than myself, ernilen. No," he put up a hand to stop the protest he could feel welling in the heart of the Wood Elf. "I do not mean you are a mere Elfling, Legolas. It is that I am nearing my sixth millennium and you have not even reached your second."
"I am not innocent, if that is what you are implying, Haldir," he said quietly.
Haldir shook his head slightly. "But you are. You may not be in the matters of physical pleasures, but you are in the ways of the heart, pen-vuil."
Legolas smiled, his voice deepening slightly. "And who, in all of Arda, is better to teach me than you?" When he received no answer from the March Warden, the Wood Elf stepped away from his friend, a note of indignation in his tone. "You stand there and tell me I do not know love because I do not have your years? That you will not have me because you think I am unable to distinguish love from lust?"
"Legolas, please, peace. I do not mean to insult you. From my position, I do not see how one of your station and years would know the flame of love." Haldir has seen the type of infatuation he thought the Prince felt for him, and he had almost lost his heart. He would never again take the rash words of a youth so seriously.
"I see." He lowered his eyes and Haldir's heart bled for causing the Prince this pain. "Melon le, beriadiren. Iston hen." he whispered. "Ae avochebin le be velethronen, hebithon le be vellonen." He looked up, his eyes shining with unshed tears of disappointment, and offered a watery smile.
"Oh, ernilen..." was all Haldir could choke out.
~*~*~*~
The sun had long dipped below the horizon and Haldir lay on his back with Legolas snuggled against his chest. They had spoken of little during their picnic and Haldir had allowed himself to become lost in the memories of a much brighter, more vibrant Prince of Mirkwood. "We should leave this place and return to the city, mellonen. Arwen will become agitated if we are not present for the evening meal." He turned his head and inhaled the fragrance of Legolas' hair, allowing the scent of cool spring streams and fresh tree sap to soothe his ragged soul.
"Always looking after me," came the mumbled, heavily relaxed reply.
Haldir whispered, "Beriadirech."
Legolas sat up on his elbow so he lay across Haldir's chest. "Aye," he murmured. "Ernilech."
The Guardian could not stop himself and reached up, threading his fingers through the soft silk of Legolas' hair. The Prince leaned in and captured Haldir's lips with his own in a soft, chaste kiss that Haldir quickly deepened. Legolas welcomed him into his mouth, allowing Haldir to taste the sweetness the younger Elf offered. Haldir moaned deep in his throat when Legolas suckled on the tip of his tongue and drew back. Haldir did not know if he had seen a more erotic sight than the Mirkwood Elf with half-lidded, passion-darkened eyes; his lips parted, slightly swollen and glistening from their kiss.
"I have wanted to do that since that day in the woods, Haldir, when you met my escort. I wanted you in my arms." His hand rested over Haldir's heart, the even rhythm beating in time with Legolas'.
"I know."
~*~*~*~
The royal family lay sprawled in the lush grass in the large courtyard. Haldir cuddled and played with tiny Eldarion while Legolas played a leaping game with the two girls. Arwen reclined against her husband and took in the scene before them. "You tend to him so well, mellonen!" she called out to Haldir. "Why is it you never settled and had children of your own?"
Haldir looked up from his position: on his back, legs partially up, with Eldarion held in his arms above him. The child was gurgling and laughing as Haldir issued several silly noises. He brought the Prince close to his chest and looked from his deep grey eyes to the stormy gaze of his mother. He simply shrugged and looked toward Legolas who was on the bottom of a pile of wriggling little girls.
"Did Rumil or Orophin ever settle?" Aragorn asked.
"Orophin married and has a daughter. Rumil has a partner who has shared his life for several centuries now." He looked to the King and Queen. "He is not in a relationship where children are an option." They nodded and Arwen smiled at the scene beyond Haldir.
"Merilin! Do not pull Legolas' hair!" The youngest girl looked up guiltily and nodded to her mother, removing her fingers from the yellow tresses.
Heavy footsteps sounded in the hall behind the courtyard and Aragorn sat up straighter, looking over his shoulder. Faramir entered the yard and bowed before his King. "My Liege, advance runners for the realms of Eryn Lasgalen have arrived."
Haldir sat up suddenly, jostling the half-sleeping infant. Eldarion let out a high pitched wail and Haldir handed him off to Arwen. "I am sorry, pen-dithen," he whispered as he placed a chaste kiss on the screaming babe's brow. Legolas joined Haldir, Aragorn and Arwen with Merilin and Tuilinn in tow.
"What is the matter, Haldir?" he asked.
Haldir waved his hand. "I had forgotten all about the party from Eryn Lasgalen, that is all. I startled Eldarion and set him off crying." He leaned down and spoke soft words in Sindarin and Eldarion soon drifted off into sleep. "I am sorry, Arwen," he said, looking up to meet her wide eyes.
"You are amazing, mellonen." She smiled and rocked the infant.
Haldir just smiled down at mother and child. "There is a party from Adar's realm?" Legolas' voice held a note of hope.
The Guardian looked to him and chuckled. "Aye. Lord Celeborn and King Thranduil will arrive in two day's time with a small host of Elves -- my brothers, their spouses and Orophin's daughter."
A large smile spread across Legolas' face and he wrapped his arms around Haldir in a spontaneous embrace. "It has been many years since I have seen any of them, and even longer since I have been in the company of your brothers!"
~*~*~*~
Lothlórien, Third Age 3019
"I worry for you, ernilen vuil," Haldir said quietly as he fastened the brooch to Legolas' cloak. He brushed the Prince's cheek with the back of his hand.
Legolas smiled. "I promise, meldir, that I will return, and we will see one another again."
Haldir looked to Aragorn, who watched them with burning intensity. He knew the Man loved the Elf; he also knew the Elf felt just as deeply for the Man. The twist that the Valar had bestowed upon him, though, was that here -- over a thousand years after first meeting the Prince --Haldir found his heart aching. He had had many nights with which to lament his choice that afternoon so many years passed. He had turned from the Prince's affections, and now he had found someone who did love him.
What disturbed the Galadhrim was *who* that chosen one was. Aragorn, son of Arathorn, was betrothed to Arwen Undomiel. Legolas would have no place at his side should the Quest be completed. He would be abandoned, cast aside, or he would be asked to be the King's catamite. He could not see Legolas agreeing to such an arrangement, for it would break the Evenstar's heart to share her husband. It would not be fair to Legolas, either, should he be forced to share Aragorn's love with Arwen. The situation was one that Haldir saw little hope of happiness for the Prince.
It still left Legolas alone. "Be safe, Legolas," he said, fighting back the sting of tears.
Legolas nodded and squeezed Haldir's hand. He turned and boarded the small Elven boat he would share with the Dwarf and set off down Anduin and away from his Guardian.
Haldir heard the soft crunching of the ground cover and then a warm, heavy hand resting on his shoulder. "Rumil, you truly need to work on your stealth exercises," Haldir chastised.
"Why did you not kiss him, muindor?" Haldir spun and faced his youngest sibling with unbelieving eyes.
"Rumil, he is not mine."
Orophin appeared and shook his head. "Neither is he Aragorn's, Haldir."
Haldir looked away, wishing to hide his pain from his brothers. "In as much as he can belong to someone, he is Aragorn's. I have no claim on him beyond friendship."
Rumil wrapped his arms around his brother's waist while Orophin placed one long arm around them both. "You should have spoken to him long before this, muindor," Orophin chastised. Rumil merely nodded against Haldir's broad chest.
"There are many things I should have done in my life, Orophin. Now is not the time to regret it." He sighed and squeezed his brothers close. "When this is over, when he is free from Aragorn--"
"If Aragorn releases him, you mean," came Rumil's muffled and bitter interruption.
"When he is free from Aragorn," he continued, "I will speak with him. I will go to him when he has need of me. I will always be there for him."
"Because you love him," Orophin stated.
Haldir looked out over the Anduin, at the faint shape of the boats, and, with a ragged voice, answered, "Because I love him."
~*~*~*~
Haldir released Legolas and nodded. "Aye, they are eager to see you again, as well. I know Gelirwen, Orophin's daughter, has been looking forward to meeting the Elf we speak so highly of."
Legolas blushed slightly. Haldir held his breath for a moment as he took in the alluring stain on the Prince's cheeks and wondered if that same flush would appear when...
He stopped his thoughts right then. He cleared his throat and took Legolas' arm. "My Lady, my Lord," he said, addressing the silent King and Queen. "I must speak with Legolas privately. Are we to join you for the evening meal?"
Arwen nodded. "Of course!" She looked at Aragorn. "Ata'da will be here," she beamed. "He has not met Eldarion yet and I know he will simply adore him!" Haldir smiled at her enthusiasm and led Legolas off to his chambers.
Once the door was closed, Haldir sat the Prince on his bed and took his hand in his. "Ernilen," he began. "Before Rumil and Orophin arrive, there is something you should know."
~ Next Chapter ~
~ Library Main ~
~ Author Index ~ Character Index ~ Title Index ~
~ Hall Of Fire ~ Gallery ~
~ Links ~ Shops ~ Map ~ News ~ Rules ~ Lists ~ ~
This page is in no way affiliated with New Line Cinema or Tolkien Enterprises, and no profit is being made.
The information contained herein is NOT to be used to spam or in any other way harrass its members. Be advised that abuse of this site will not be tolerated, and the appropriate legal action will be taken.
Hall-Of-Fire.Com v.4.0, Copyright © 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009 by Cristine Cook-Fireheart. All rights reserved. This web site may not be reproduced in any form, except as occurs in normal browser caching, without express written permission from the author.
Website by Infinite Connections Design.
