Title & Chapter Number: Razor's Edge Trilogy 3: A Love That's Blind 2/2
Author(s): - Author's Index
Website: Hith a Naur
Fandom: Tolkien
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not own LotR or any characters, lands, or items from the Tolkien world. They belong to their respective copyright holders.
Warnings: Slash, Twincest
Betas: Silvara, the most patient beta in existence, and to my 'Gamma' reader, Ilye. ^^
Cast: Elladan/Elrohir/Legolas
Timeline: Fourth Age
Spoilers: None
Summary: When the twins receive notice that Legolas has sailed for Valinor without telling them, they must decide how they choose to end their days in Arda.
Notes: This follows the "One Step Closer" trilogy. This trilogy will answer all the questions and more. ^^ There is a companion trilogy staring Haldir and Celeborn, since they made an appearance in "One Step Closer" and in "Razor's Edge." I will be posting "Before The Dawn" sometime next week, after all four parts of this trilogy have been released. I hope everyone likes the finale! Much thanks must go to Ilye for her Elvish butt-kicking and her kindness for checking up on my facts. ^^
Tirion - July 12th, 123 of the Fourth Age
Oropher sat with Legolas on the wide balcony to his home. Legolas had visited the large abode on several occasions, and it always felt welcoming to him. His Ata'da was not what he expected as his Ada's stories of the great King had been... less than flattering.
He supposed dying changed people.
"Indyo, what troubles you? Since you arrived you have been closed off and unapproachable." Oropher sipped his tea and watched his grandson. The youth looked so like his father that Oropher could almost pretend he was speaking with Thranduil. At least, until Legolas would look at him and instead of seeing the oak-green eyes of his son he saw blue as dark as sapphires.
"I don't know, Ata'da," was Legolas' half-hearted reply.
Oropher turned his attention to the horizon, his lips curling slightly in a smile. Legolas was as bad a liar as his father was. "Yes, you do, pen-neth. Why don't you simply tell me, or would you prefer I find the Dwarf to keep you company today?"
"No!" Legolas sat up suddenly. "That won't be necessary." He did care for Gimli, he was his dearest friend, but he was not up for another lecture from the stout warrior.
"Then tell me what weighs your heart so."
He sighed. "All right." Legolas took a moment to compose his thoughts. He knew what troubled him, but it was difficult to put into words without sounding as if he were losing his mind. "I was," he paused, looking for the right word, then continued, "involved with the sons of Elrond Half-Elven."
"Involved?" Oropher's eyebrow raised and he looked shocked.
"Involved. They are twins and well," he could feel the blush creep over his fair features. "We were involved."
"You were their lover."
Legolas choked on his tea and began to cough. After a moment, which was filled with his grandfather's amused chuckles, Legolas regained what little composure he still had. "Aye. We kept a relationship for over five centuries."
Oropher cocked his head in curiosity at Legolas. "That's a long time to just have a relationship, Indyo."
"No promises or words of love passed between myself or the twins, though Elladan and Elrohir," his voice hitched for a moment. It had been years since he had even said their names. He began again. "Elladan and Elrohir had been lovers for millennia before they took me into their bed."
"They loved one another, but not you."
"That is what I have always thought."
"Do you still think it?"
Legolas let his eyes drift to the vast city before them as he pondered the question. "Even if they did love me at some point, they would not carry within them still that passion and need for me I always wished they had. I did not feel their love and simply pushed them away. I did not love them then, so why should they love me now?"
"Do you love them now?" Oropher sipped from his cup again, his emerald eyes sparkling.
"How can I love people who I have not seen in over a century?"
"Do you love your father?"
Legolas looked at him indignantly. "Of course I love Ada. What kind of question is that?"
"Legolas, you have not seen your father since you left Imladris on that quest. Yet, you still love him. Why can you not love Elladan and Elrohir even after all this time?"
The younger Elf looked at his hands and spoke softly. "It's like I can feel them."
"How do you mean, pen-neth?"
The Prince sighed and tried to explain. "As in right now. Somehow, I know that Elrohir is exhausted, he wants to lay down and rest but he is with Celeborn and Haldir. I know that Elladan is hot and in the training field with Ada and Glorfindel. I do not know how I know this, I just do. Something tells me they know that I am sitting here having a conversation with you and feeling apprehensive."
"Ah," was all Oropher said, finishing his tea and standing up. "I see." He went back into the house and refilled his cup.
Legolas followed his grandfather. "What do you mean, 'I see', Ata'da?"
The jade flashed. "Do you love them, Legolas?"
"You keep asking me that."
"Humor me, Indyo. Do you love them?"
Silence blanketed the room for several minutes while Oropher held his breath, waiting for his grandson to come to the realization he needed to. Finally, swimming blue eyes met his.
"I do. I love them."
~*~*~*~
En Route to Valinor - January 15th, 126 of the Fourth Age
Elladan gripped Elrohir's hand tightly as they lay in the bed in their room on the ship. They had spent most of the trip in their room, just as Thranduil had, thinking over their choices and the consequences.
"Melin lle, Elladan," came the soft, frightened voice of Elrohir.
"Shh, meleth," he soothed, caressing the dark locks from his twin's wide eyes. "Ada, Nana, Ata'da, and Ata'na would never let harm come to us. We must have faith."
Elrohir nodded into his brother's chest, pulling himself closer to his twin. "I do not want to be taken away from you, gwanunig, ever."
"I would sell my soul for you, Elrohir, I would do anything they asked me to for you... Just so long as we were together in the end."
Elrohir lifted his head and stared at his brother for several minutes, then brought his lips up to meet his twin's in a gentle kiss. "We will arrive tomorrow morning... what shall we do with out last night before we reach the Blessed Lands?"
Elladan smirked, running his hand up his twin's thigh to cup his firm buttocks. "I can think of several things."
~*~*~*~
Shores of Valinor - January 16th, 126 of the Fourth Age
Elladan and Elrohir stepped onto the land, leaving the boat and dock behind. They were quickly embraced by Celebrian, all three shedding tears. Elrohir closed his eyes and inhaled, remembering his mother's scent and feeling safe while she comforted him after nightmares.
"Nana..." he choked out.
She held onto them tightly, amazed at how much they had changed since she left them behind. "Elladan... Elrohir... I am so happy you've come!" Celebrian pulled back and wiped her face, laughing at them. "I have missed you, iynen," she said as she took her small hands and cupped each twins cheek.
"Where is Ada?" Elladan asked, searching the line of people waiting to welcome the last Elves to come home.
"Your Ada had some things to take care of. He will see you later, when you go home." She continued to beam at them, taking her sons' breaths away with how much she had recovered since they last saw her. Looking at one another they silently agreed, they had made the right choice coming with Thranduil and Glorfindel.
/Speaking of which.../ Elladan mused to Elrohir.
The Peredhil turned their eyes to Thranduil who held a bright shining blond Elf in his arms. Elrohir's heart missed a beat seeing the sparkling lapis eyes. Elladan watched Thranduil gently scold his son for running off and Legolas looking properly chastised for a moment, then smiling up at his father once again.
Their attention was drawn away from the father/son reunion when they heard their old tutor's voice call out Glorfindel's name. Elrohir smiled broadly when Erestor threw his arms around the obviously shocked blond and Glorfindel hesitantly wrapping his arms around the raven-haired Councilor.
Yes, everything was as it should be.
/They seem happy./ Elrohir turned his intense gaze to his twin.
/Aye. They should be. I hope Thranduil and Ada find the same happiness./
/Something tells me Ada has his own agenda and Thranduil is on it./
Elladan broke out in laughter and Celebrian looked at him oddly, then squeezed their hands one last time and moved passed them to greet the last two Elves to leave the dock.
The elder twin took the younger's hand in his and turned to greet their grandmother and others they had not seen in years. Before they could take five steps, though, their path was blocked with a lithe archer from Mirkwood looking at them expectantly. Elladan thought he stopped breathing when he looked into the hopeful eyes of their former lover.
"Welcome home," came the soft, lyrical voice they had longed to hear again.
"Legolas," they said in unison.
He smiled and bowed his head slightly. Legolas took in a deep breath and slowly released it. He met their eyes again and wondered what had possessed him to ever push them away. "I have missed you."
Elladan raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Just not enough to actually let us know that you were leaving for Valinor?" he asked, a dark edge cutting through his voice.
Legolas sighed. The words were harsh, but it was clear they were motivated by hurt, not anger. He could *see* the affection they felt for him shining in their eyes, how open and sad they were. The blonde wondered why he had not seen it before. But he could also see the hurt that he had caused them and the longing they had felt these many years. He swallowed uneasily. "Would you mind walking with me for a while? I was hoping we could speak..."
Elladan's grip on his brother's hand became painful as he nodded and followed the fair Prince away from the dock. They strolled in silence, the twins looking about them in awe. It was beautiful and perfect. When they did stop, they were amazed that the Sinda had brought them to a small glade with a waterfall in it.
"I come here a lot," he offered them. "To think. I find it an appropriate setting for this conversation." He turned to them and motioned for the Peredhel to sit on the cool grass. Legolas took his place a few feet opposite of them, looking intently at his hands.
"It's quite beautiful. It kind of reminds me of the secluded waterfalls in Imladris." Elrohir looked fondly at his brother, both lost in the bittersweet memories of their home.
Elladan cleared his throat, eager to get this out of the way. "What is it you wanted to speak to us about, ernilen?"
Legolas swallowed visibly and looked up with his large, lost eyes. "It was wrong for me to run off as I did. Both to Ithilien and to Valinor. I did you both a terrible wrong and I wanted to apologize for my childish behavior. Sometimes I wonder how it is I can be over three thousand years old and still act like I am barely above my majority."
Elrohir opened his mouth to speak, but his brother got there first. "What is it that you want from us, Legolas? What is it that you expect us to say? That all is forgiven? That it's all right? That we really didn't mind that you took all that we gave you and stomped on it? Now, on this I cannot speak for my brother, but if that's what you're looking for, I think you are going to be disappointed."
The look on the Wood Elf's face made it clear that whatever response he had expected, it certainly wasn't this one. His mouth opened and closed several times as he searched for the words to express his feelings. "I... don't know what I expected. I've just had a lot of time to think lately, and I realized how much I must have hurt you both. I don't expect forgiveness, and I don't expect acceptance. I only hope that you bear me no ill feelings for my regrettable actions."
Elladan scoffed. "Spoken like a true diplomat. Bear you no ill feelings? We give you the best of us, and you treat it like orc droppings, and you expect us to bear you no ill feelings? The nerve! The arrogance!"
The younger twin put a hand on Elladan's arm. Elrohir gave his brother a trace of a smile beneath eyes filled with understanding. The Peredhel then turned to Legolas. "Losing you was like losing an arm," Elrohir said gently. "It took us a long time to learn how to compensate for the loss, and the wound has never fully healed."
Legolas stared in wonder. He'd never imagined that he was that important to them. "But, you always had each other," he said defensively, a little too harshly than he'd meant.
Elrohir only inclined his head slightly. "And what do you suppose that means? That we cannot feel as incomplete as you because there are two of us? During the time that we shared with you, we knew we had found that missing piece of our lives. And when you left, and we lost that... I hope you can understand the pain of watching your love ride away into history and out of your grasp."
"Your *love*?" Legolas blurted out. "I never thought you felt that way. You never shared any words of love with me."
Elladan pushed past Elrohir, unable to stay silent. "Of course we love you, you stupid git! We never told you because you were always so careful to avoid any talk of commitment; always gallivanting off with other Elves as you tried to 'find yourself,' never quite realizing that what you were really doing was trying to *lose* yourself."
The Sinda hung his head. Elladan was right, of course. Why should they have confessed their feelings when he had been doing everything he could to avoid confessing his own? "I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for a lot of things, I guess."
Elrohir chuckled. "Apology accepted. Just... don't run from us again, all right? Please?"
The Prince nodded and gave them a weak smile. "Not that I can run far now."
Elladan nodded. "Was there something else you wanted to discuss?" He could tell Legolas wasn't done, and part of him dreaded what else the Elf had to tell them.
"Aye, there is." He turned his eyes to the sky and gathered his courage. "Since coming here, I have made some decisions, as well as some realizations." Legolas gave a brief laugh. "Actually, I can give the credit of those realizations to Ata'da."
"Oropher?" asked Elrohir.
Legolas gave them an odd look. "He is nothing like Ada told me. Although, he is awfully smug about something..."
Elladan smiled, basking in Legolas' presence once more. He and Elrohir had dreamed of this moment for years.
The Elf shook his head. "But, that is neither here nor there. What I did realize is," he looked at them, his face clouding over with regret, "I am in love with you. Both. And it seems I have been for as long as I can remember."
Elrohir's gasp was audible and Elladan felt somewhat faint. "You... love us?"
Elrohir could not find his voice. Legolas had just said the words that the twins had hidden from him for centuries.
"Aye. I love you." Legolas wrung his hands nervously, not expecting the twins to feel the same toward him. "And I know it's late and I know I do not deserve your affection, but I was so angry when I saw you two... at the stables the night Elladan went on that extended patrol." He turned his hurt gaze to them. "You exchanged words of love and I felt slighted. As I said, neither of you had ever spoken of love with me, and I thought I would never be a part of you. It would always be Elladan-Elrohir and Legolas, never more than that."
Elrohir shifted to his hands and knees and slowly approached the distraught Elf. He gathered Legolas' hands in his own and made sure the Prince was looking at him. "Oh, meleth, you have always meant more than that to me. I loved you long before we ever lay together, and it was that love that kept me bound to you all those years. Forgive me for keeping it from you."
Elladan moved to sit beside his brother, cupping Legolas' cheeks in his warm palms and turning the eyes swimming with tears to him. "I did not know how much I loved you until the few weeks preceding the Quest. But, I did realize it and I welcomed the warmth you brought to my life. The love was always there. It still is, a'maelamin."
Legolas let out a burst of giddy laughter and felt the tears make their way down his cheeks. A flood of love washed over him and his next sob caught in his throat. "Bound..." he whispered.
Elrohir nodded and smiled. "Aye. Since you were attacked by those spiders. I heard you call out, I followed your light and we found you."
Legolas' eyes darted back to Elladan, who was nodding. In stunned disbelief, the Prince closed his eyes, relishing in the sensation of his lovers. "I have missed you both so much," he said softly.
"And how we have missed you," was Elladan's response. He leaned forward and claimed the Elf's lips, tenderly kissing him and showing him that there was love between them.
When Elladan pulled back and dropped his hands from the tear-streaked face, Elrohir moved in, permitting Legolas to dominate the kiss they shared.
"Melin lle, Elladan... Elrohir," Legolas whispered against the moist lips of the youngest Peredhel.
"Melin lle, Legolas," they said in unison, Elrohir kissing the pliant lips once more as Elladan wrapped his arms around the slender form of the Mirkwood Prince.
~*~*~*~
*Elvish/English translations:
*Melin lle : I love you
*Ata'da : Grandfather
*Ata'na : Grandmother
*Indyo : Grandchild (Quenya)
*caulen (the twins' name for one another) : My Affliction
*Er merinyel : I want you still (Quenya)
*Iynen : My sons
*Ernilen : My Prince~*~*~*~
End "A Love That's Blind"
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