Title & Chapter Number: Before the Dawn Trilogy 3: To Live, To Breathe 3/3
Author(s): - Author's Index
Website: Hith a Naur
Fandom: Tolkien
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: No money, no suey
Warnings: Slash, Character Death
Betas: Silvara, the most patient beta in existence
Cast: Celeborn/Haldir
Timeline: October 25 - December 25 3018 TA
Spoilers: None
Summary: During the attacks from Dol Guldur against Lothlorien, Celeborn's March Warden is struck down by the forces while saving his brothers and their company. Celeborn must face eternity without Haldir.
Notes: Yes, I know. I said only three trilogies, didn't I? ^^ "Time Until the End of Time" is complete, yes. This story, though, touches on the few facts we are given in that series regarding Celeborn and Haldir. In the second trilogy, I let everyone know the two Lorien Elves were lovers when Celeborn sent Haldir to retrieve Glorfindel. Here is their story. ^^ Just like the others, it is based on the songs that inspired them -- these are Evanescence.
Celeborn's eyes slowly opened, his vision clearing quickly. He sat up from his position on the floor, wincing from his wounds that sent rivers of pain through him. He panted, willing the pain to recede long enough for him to stand. With much effort, the Elf-lord made it to his feet and looked about him finally. The vast room was dark and hollow sounding; what walls he could see were hung massive tapestries depicting scenes that Celeborn could not make out. He blinked again, trying to clear the cloudiness in his vision, but he soon realized that the mist he saw really surrounded the perimeter of the room, obscuring everything beyond it from Celeborn's vision.
In the center of the room stood a vessel that cast the only light in the chamber; a soft, pure silver glow emanating and illuminating the immediate area. The massive columns that he saw about him shone with a black gleam, the floors like slick, dark oil. As he looked beyond the glowing vessel, his eyes focused on the dark figure seated on the large throne.
"Mandos."
The Vala smiled. "Namo, please. Mandos is simply the name of my Halls, Celeborn of Doriath."
"Where am I?" Celeborn inwardly chuckled. As though he had to ask.
"You are standing in the main hall of my home. You fell and now you stand before me here." Namo smiled slightly, that smug superiority resurfacing.
"Why am I here?"
"Do you not listen, hína? You fell. Maedhros most effectively ran you through with his sword."
Celeborn brought his hand up to his chest, searching for the wound. When he did not find it, he looked up at the Vala with a puzzled expression. "Aye, he did. I... failed." The defeat was thick in the Prince's voice. He had failed Haldir, he would never see his love again. It was over.
Namo stood and fluidly walked from the dais, slowly approaching the Elf. The closer he got, the softer his expression became. When the Lord of the Dead stood face to face with the Lord of Lothlorien, he cupped the Elf's cheek. Smiling, a sight Celeborn found beautiful and disturbing at the same time, Namo spoke. "You did not fail. You fought bravely and you never gave up, you never sought mercy from me." Namo smirked, "Not that I would have granted it, but you never beseeched me for it. You fought to the end."
"It was still not enough, my Lord," Celeborn whispered, hating himself as the tears formed in his eyes. He did not want the Vala to have the satisfaction of seeing his grief, his tears.
Celeborn found his gaze captured by the bottomless cobalt eyes, seeing such wisdom and compassion hidden in the depths. When the pale, cool thumb that rested against his cheek began to softly stroke his heated skin, he lost his ability to choke back the emotions and one tear slid down his cheek.
"Such love consumes your soul, Celeborn," the Ainu said softly. "You were willing to give up everything just to find him, to take him from me. Not many do that, not many have the power." Namo released the his cheek and turned from the Elf, clasping his hands behind his back. "There is little I do not know, Celeborn. There is nothing I forget. I will not forget you or your love." He turned suddenly and smiled dangerously at the Sinda. "You will have Haldir back."
"But, I failed!" he cried.
"No, you did not. I told you you had to score three touches to advance to the next, but there were no others following Maedhros. You faced each son and moved on until there was none left to advance to. You completed the tasks before you and won back your lover." Namo returned to his throne, seating himself and looking down at Celeborn.
"Of course," Namo continued, chuckling, "if you would rather not have him back and forfeit yourself to me now, I will accept your surrender."
Celeborn's ears burned at the embarrassment of being mocked by a Vala --good-natured mocking, to be sure, but even so. He had not paid close enough attention to Namo's instructions. The Vala could just as easily have neglected to point out the loophole that allowed Celeborn to succeed. The Sinda had resigned himself to eternity in the Halls and there was no reason that Namo *had* to correct that misconception.
"That will not be necessary, I think, Lord Namo," Celeborn replied with a hint of growing mirth. "You are just and gracious, and I thank you."
"Do not thank me, Celeborn, for I am just in this decision only by the edict of Manwë, and I am gracious in defeat only at the expense of my pride." Namo's voice became deep and somber, echoing in the chamber despite the size of the room. "Do not come before me again, Celeborn of Doriath. Should I see you in these Halls again, you will never leave them. I do not take defeat easily, and will not suffer it again from you."
Celeborn nodded in understanding, bowing his head out of respect. Namo waved his hand, and Celeborn felt himself thrown from his feet, flying backward at an incredible rate of speed. The scene around him became even more of a blur, until at last he hit something hard behind him. He gasped as the air was knocked from his lungs by the impact. His vision cleared and he recognized the trees of his home, the firm ground beneath him.
A sound startled him, like coughing and gasping. He pushed himself up and looked across the clearing. His heart leapt when he realized that it was Haldir who was making those sounds. He ran across the clearing, barely noticing that his wounds were all mysteriously healed, and fell to his knees beside his lost love. Celeborn scooped Haldir up into his arms, pressing him close to his body and breathing deeply the Elf's distinctive scent.
~*~*~*~
Lothlorien -- May 12th 3019 of the Third Age
Haldir stirred beneath the thick layer of blankets, his eyes slowly coming into focus. His first thought was that he was dreaming --which was quickly dismissed since the dead did not dream. As the fog of sleep finally lifted from his mind, he found he had vague memories of Celeborn bathing him, of telling him how much he loved him and tucking him into the bed. Promises of eternal love, words of comfort and dedication. He even remembered his brothers and his Lord's Lady coming in to whisper words of encouragement.
He slowly sat up, leaning back against the headboard. He felt good, strong. Like he had never taken on the Nazgul. The March Warden turned his head and his heart stopped.
Celeborn lay curled beside him, his icy eyes vacant with sleep and his mithril hair fanned out beautifully against the dark forest colored linens. His eyes misted. How he was here, how his lover was with him, he did not know. Reaching out a trembling hand, Haldir touched the soft, warm cheek of his sleeping partner. It was very solid, very real. He let out a strangled whimper, snatching his hand back when Celeborn's eyes filled with awareness.
The Lorien Lord sat up sharply, his eyes wide and he gripped at the hand Haldir had touched him with. "Melethen?" He inched closer to the startled Elf, bringing his other hand up to cup the back of the younger Elf's head. "Haldir? Shh..." his soothed when the tears fell from the clear turquoise eyes.
"W-where am-m-m I?" the March Warden managed to stutter out.
"You are home, seron vell. You are in our bed, in our talan in your Golden Wood." Celeborn spoke with soft, even words, moving ever closer to the distressed Elf.
"N-n-n-no... I... fell... Ru-u-umil?" he asked anxiously.
"Rumil is well. Your brothers were waiting for you to awaken, wishing to see their oldest brother once again." The Lord smiled and gradually pulled Haldir into his arms, cradling him close to his bare chest.
"I am not s-supposed to be he-ere," Haldir sniffled.
Celeborn's arms tightened. "Yes, you are."
"How?"
The Doriath Prince swallowed visibly and took in a deep breath. "I challenged Mandos for you."
Haldir's head snapped up. "I was dead."
Meeting his lover's gaze was hard. "Aye," he murmured.
"You came after me..." Haldir replied in hushed tones.
"Aye."
"Why?"
Celeborn's face twisted into a mask of disbelief. "Why? *Why*?!" He shook his head. "Because, Haldir, I have to be with you... to live... to breathe... It was impossible without you. You are my life, Haldir. What was left for me if you were not here to share it with?"
Haldir cursed himself as he felt the tears resurface. Celeborn had never spoken such words to him. Yes, he had told him he loved the March Warden, but Haldir had never known the extent of those feelings, the depth of the love within the heart of the Lord. Haldir did the only thing he could think at that moment, he leaned in and pressed his tear-dampened lips to the silken lips of his savior.
The elder Sinda felt a sob rip from his throat and enfolded his lover in his arms once more. Haldir's lips opened to him eagerly, the Captain's fingers threading themselves into Celeborn's silver hair, pulling the Elf closer to him. The Prince obliged Haldir, slipping his tongue into the fiery heat of Haldir's mouth. The younger Elf's tongue met his, forcefully taking control of the kiss.
Haldir needed to know this was real, needed to know he was with Celeborn again and he was loved and wanted and alive. He chased the Lord's tongue back into his mouth, exploring his lover's mouth thoroughly. When breathless, Haldir pulled back slightly, capturing Celeborn's bottom lip between his teeth, gently pulling. His lover groaned and Haldir smiled. "I need you, my Lord..."
Celeborn sensed his lover's urgency, his desire to know it was all real. He nodded, laying Haldir back on the mattress and covering the archer's body with his own. They kissed again, this one more tender and loving, a slow exploration of teeth and lips. Celeborn had put them both to bed nude, wanting to feel Haldir's warm skin against his as he fell asleep. He moved against the gasping Elf beneath him, his arousal brushing against Haldir's.
"Maethoren vain," Celeborn whispered hotly against Haldir's ear.
Haldir shuddered, his eyes glassy with need. "Ernilen veren."
Celeborn trailed feather-light kisses down Haldir's neck, his tongue gently lapping at the sensitive point where he could feel the quickened pulse of his lover's heart. He could feel his arousal twitch with each moan and squirm that Haldir gave him. Suddenly Haldir's hands gripped the sides of Celeborn's head and he pulled the Prince back up for a deep kiss. When he pulled back, Haldir's eyes, turned indigo with lust, met his stormy gaze.
"I need to be inside you, melethron. I know I do not ask it of you often, but I must know that you are real; that all of this is real."
The Sindarin Lord nodded and rolled onto his back, settling Haldir between his thighs. "Anything for you, melethen. I would do anything for you."
Haldir's lips turned up into a sweet, devoted smile and his brought his already bruised lips to Celeborn's in a chaste kiss. "Melin lle, Celeborn."
Celeborn's eyes became liquid pools of love. He moved himself against Haldir, silently reminding him of their mutual need. Haldir grunted slightly, his eyes fluttering. After a moment to compose himself as much as he could, Haldir's gaze returned to Celeborn's and he blindly reached for the salve they always kept by the bedside.
The younger Elf sat back on his knees and placed the small crock of ointment on the bed beside him. He motioned to Celeborn, "Turn over, meleth."
Celeborn complied immediately, offering himself fully to Haldir, his leg slightly spread and his head resting on his forearms. Haldir ran his hand along the length of his Lord's back, tracing his spine and grinning with satisfaction when Celeborn's shuddered, his back muscles rippling in his wake. He leaned over and kissed the gentle swell of his lover's buttocks, inhaling the Prince's unique musk.
"Bain," Haldir whispered, leaning lower and tracing his tongue down the cleft. "Bainwain..."
Celeborn could not stop the tremors of desire he felt when Haldir's hot, moist breath spoke against his heated flesh. He cried out when he felt the soft caress of Haldir's tongue against his opening. Several swipes of the wet, firm muscle caused Celeborn's cock to twitch and weep with clear drops of seed. "Haldir," he choked out, moving against the slight touch of his lover's mouth.
Haldir sat back up and opened the small pot of salve, coating his fingers with the slickness inside. He returned the tin to the bed and placed one finger to Celeborn, slowly breaching the tight ring of muscle. He slowly moved his finger within the tight confines of Celeborn's passage and then slid in the second digit.
The Lorien Lord willed himself to relax and before long he was thrusting back against his lover's hand. He let out a long, low growl when Haldir slipped the third finger inside, panting with his desire as the March Warden stretch and prepared him with loving thoroughness. When he thought he could take no more, Haldir removed the fingers and he felt the blunt heat of Haldir's slick arousal.
The younger Sinda braced himself against Celeborn's hips and slowly, but firmly, pushed forward. He stopped when he heard Celeborn hiss with discomfort and stroked little comforting circles on the flesh beneath his fingers. When he felt his lover's body release its almost painful grip on him, he continued to enter Celeborn. When he was buried to the hilt in the searing tightness of his Lord's passage, he waited, panting with barely restrained passion.
"Iquista, Haldir, move..."
Haldir chuckled at the thick voice that panted the request. "Aye, my Lord." He performed quick, shallow thrusts until Celeborn began meeting his movements. Then, he flexed his hips in longer, slower motions. Since Celeborn usually took Haldir, his lover was incredibly tight and Haldir could already feel his release building.
Haldir stopped moving, nestled deep in Celeborn's body. Celeborn craned his neck, looking at his flushed partner. "What is it, seron vell?"
"I want to look at you, my Lord. I want to see you call my name when you come undone."
A shiver made its way through his body at Haldir's words and he nodded. They gracefully altered their positions, Celeborn laying on his back and spreading his legs shamelessly for Haldir. The younger Elf knelt between the legs, drawing his Lord's knees up and swiftly re-entering the tight body.
He set a quick pace, driving them both toward completion. Celeborn used his hands to brace himself against their headboard and wrapped his long legs around Haldir's waist, permitting the March Warden to penetrate him deeply and with ferocious power. With his arms free, Haldir took Celeborn's erection in his hand, pumping the slick shaft with abandon.
Celeborn reached his peak first, spilling his warm fluid on his stomach and chest, Haldir's name falling from his lips. Haldir felt the muscles around him clamp down and he cried out, stilling as his orgasm ripped through him. He thrust a few more times, riding out his release before he collapsed on the heaving chest of his lover.
"Melin lle, Celeborn. You are here... I am here... this is real..." he said, the tears falling from his eyes. "I thought I would never feel you again, never be near you..."
Celeborn brought his arms up and embraced Haldir tightly, his legs falling stiffly from the Elf's waist. He would be sore in the morning, but it was a welcomed discomfort. He kissed the pale crown of Haldir's head and whispered his love to the weeping mass that gripped him as if he would disappear if he let go. Celeborn shifted them so they were face to face. He brushed the damp tresses from Haldir's face and smiled at him.
"We are very much here, March Warden. Melin lle... Always. I would seek you in Mandos' Halls all over again if I had to; I am never letting you go again." Haldir nodded and cuddled closer, burying his face in Celeborn's chest. "Rest now, maethoren vain. There is no reason to leave this bed any time soon." He kissed Haldir's head again and pulled the coverlet up over their cooling bodies.
"I would have given up everything I have, melethen," he mumbled in the flaxen lock, speaking to the slumbering Elf in his arms. "I still would." Celeborn felt his head becoming muddled with sleep and finally succumbed to the call of dreams, Haldir's name still on his lips.
~*~*~*~
*Elvish/English translations:
*Randir : Wanderer
*Ae dannon, dannathon istol i maethannen na vellasen ban verio i veleth-e-guilen. : If I fall, I will fall knowing I fought with all my strength to protect the love of my life.
*Am meleth, mellonen : For love, my friend.
*Im henia : I understand.
*Hína : Child (Quenya)
*Melethen : My love
*Seron vell : Dear lover (beloved)
*Maethoren vain : My beautiful warrior
*Ernilen veren : My brave prince
*Melin lle : I love you
*Bain : Beautiful
*Bainwain : Most beautiful
*Iquista : Please (Quenya)~*~*~*~
End To Live, To Breathe
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