Title & Chapter Number The Wayward Wish 12/14
Author(s): - Author's Index
Website: Tortured Scribes
Fandom: Tolkien
RatingNC-17
Disclaimer Thank you J.R.R. for the wonderful playground of Middle Earth. Thank you Peter for the wonderful playground created by your casting department. I don't own any copyrighted material in this fic, I'm just borrowing it and I promise to return it when I'm done. Did I mention I have no money?
Warnings Violence
Betas Jay Foppins III and Constance Ambrose
Cast Characters for Lord of the Rings, Original Female Character
Timeline Lord of the Rings AU
Spoilers The Return of the King
Summary The realities of being a modern woman zapped back in time to Middle Earth - minus the fluff.
Notes Elvish is Sindarin; If it looks like Tolkien and it sounds like Tolkien, it probably is. He wrote it first, he wrote it best, I'm just repeating it for storytelling purposes and make no claim that I came up with it. Everyone else has done the Modern Female in M.E., so now it's my turn. Hopefully, I've done it with a bit of style and believability.
Chapter Twelve: Lost and Found
In war, there are no unwounded soldiers. - José Narosky
Théoden and his household knights charged down onto the field, the king well in the lead. To the south, the clouds were rolling backing to reveal the blue sky of morning. The darkness was lifting.
Mixed into the rear guard of Theoden's household knights was Éowyn with Merry at her back. Jessy tried to keep up with her but Éowyn was a much better horsewoman and soon left Jessy behind. Jessy got mixed into Éomer's éored, which was the second group in the charge. The Rohan began to sing.
Jessy's attention was soon forced from Merry as Orcs overran Éomer's éored. All around her screams filled the air as the dying began. Then Jessy did what had killed many a young man in the heat of battle.
She froze. Too scared to do anything more than sit upon her horse as chaos erupted around her.
Time seemed to slow to a snail's pace. The sounds of battle faded until the only sound that Jessy could hear was the beating of her own heart, pounding frantically, filling her ears with a dull thud.
She watched with a growing horror as the Orc turned and locked eyes with her. The yellow irises filled with malice and hatred. The hunter had found his prey. Step after step brought him closer to her. Her mind screamed for her to turn and flee, to raise her shield in defense, to lift her sword and strike. Her body refused to move. There she sat upon her horse, an unwilling sacrifice to the gods of war.
The Orc lifted his sword. A grotesque smile curled on his horrid, black face.
This is it, Jessy thought wildly. I am going to die. I wonder how bad it will hurt when the blade tears into my flesh.
The sword began its decent, arching through the air, a flash of gray against an ebony sky. Closer and closer.
His swing was interrupted as a spear skewered his unprotected back. His eyes bulged in shock as the spear head erupted through his chest, a fine mist of black blood splattering across Jessy's face.
This triggered an adrenaline rush and Jessy was finally released from her numbed state. She jerked the reins in a purely responsive reaction causing the horse to turn away from the falling orc.
It saved her life.
The blade bit deep into the horse's side, cause it to scream in agony before rearing up. Jessy was thrown from the rear of the horse and landed with a thud in the dirt. The air pushed from her lungs. Nonetheless, she raised her shield as another foe took the opportunity to swing his blade at her. The sound of metal hitting metal rang loudly, her arm going numb from the force of the blade's impact of the shield.
Still struggling to regain her breath, she stabbed forward with her sword in an instinctual move. The blade cut through the kneecap of the Orc, causing him to lose his balance and join her on the ground. The air came rushing back into her lungs with one painful gasp. Jessy's mind shut itself down, seeming to switch over to autopilot. Everything became detached as though she was watching a movie through the eyes of someone else. She stood and slammed the point of her blade into the Orc's chest.
There was no time to gloat over her kill for another had taken its place and she barely raised her shield in time.
And so it went, time still barely moving and the orcs kept coming. As soon as she killed one, another took its place. Her shield arm was numb and she wondered idly how she was able to raise it.
It was not long before she was bone-weary, yet unable to stop. A blade swung towards her neck and she barely raised her shield in time. The tip was deflected but it cut a line through her chin. There was a momentary sting and then nothing. She didn't even feel the blood running down her chin and neck; she was too busy trying to stay alive.
Something caught Jessy's attention, though she continued to advance. Then it dawned on her. The singing had stopped. There was no time to ponder why; she parried a sword blow, almost losing her grip on her sword in the process. The sound of a horn blowing reverberated across the battlefield as Éomer began to rally his troops.
Jessy was fighting with a particularly nasty Orc when a Rider on horseback decapitated it with a swift swing of his sword. He held out his hand to Jessy and pulled her on to the back of his horse. Then they were moving, across the battlefield towards Éomer. Trampling Orcs as they rode through the swirling mass of destruction.
Soon Jessy was back on her feet amid a knot of Rohirrim knights who had lost their steeds in the battle. Around them, the enemy swarmed. Not Orcs but Men. To kill a monster was one thing but to take the life of someone's husband, brother, son was something else entirely.
Jessy fought the urge to vomit as blood, dark and red, gushed from the throat of her first kill. She tried to stay within the group of knights for protection but the group was getting smaller and smaller as they were picked off one by one.
Parry.
Swing.
Parry.
Thrust.
Then her left leg buckled and she fell to one knee. She rolled just as an axe swung down towards her; it cut into the flesh of her upper arm. Her shield arm was now useless but she refused to give up. Thrusting up with her sword, she disemboweled her attacker.
A cry rang out from the nearby walls of Gondor. "The Corsairs of Umbar. The Corsairs of Umbar." Jessy could see the black-masted ships moving up the Anduin. From the looks on the faces around her, they were not there to give them aid, The Rohirrim were in trouble and Jessy along with them.
The sound of Éomer's horn rang out once again. His standard waved in the breeze atop a grassy hillock. The knights surrounding Jessy began to move towards it, Jessy followed.
The rest of the day was a blur. Metal, blood, death, screams. And then the sun fell behind Mindolluin, filling the sky with a great burning redness. The hills and mountains were blood red matching the red grass upon the battlefield.
It was nightfall and the Battle of Pelennor Fields was over. Somehow, Jessy had survived when so many others had not. She stood among the dead and dying. There was something important that she was forgetting. Jessy wandered aimlessly for a while before she remembered Merry. She had lost sight of Merry in the battle.
The men that took note of the lad wandering aimlessly could only shake their head in sadness. Madness on the field of battle was not unknown. They tried to get him to see to his wounds but he was too concerned for one called Merry. They assumed it was his brother and let him go.
Jessy wandered through the night, searching for Merry among the dead. Asking all those she met if they had seen him. Her shield and helmet discarded. Her face covered with dirt and blood, eyes dull and lifeless. The circlet upon her forehead gleamed in the morning sun. The Elven sword clutched tightly in her hand, dark with dried blood. Her clothing torn and bloodstained from her various wounds. One lone arrow still standing erect in her quiver, the rest were scattered during her fall from the horse.
This was the sight that greeted Gimli the next morning when Jessy approached him asking if he had seen Merry.
Gimli could only stare for a moment as if she were a ghost sent to haunt him for some past misdeed. His mind refusing to associate the bloody, blank eyed creature before him with that of the young, stubborn lass he had last seen at Dunharrow. Jessy turned to continue her search prompting Gimli to speak up.
"Hold child", he said in a gruff but gentle tone. "I know where the one you seek lies. I will take you to him."
Jessy turned back but said nothing. He reached out and gently grasped her empty hand, pulling her back towards the campsite he had shared with Legolas the night before.
She moved easily though he noted that she was favoring her left leg. Gimli made a quick catalog of her visible wounds and wondered how the child had managed to survive the battle.
Legolas was cleaning his knife when he heard Gimli call out to him. He raised his head, a slight smile on his face, to greet his friend. His smile remained frozen like some grim parody mocking the sight that met his eyes. At first, he thought perhaps he was mistaken but a second look wiped the smile from his face.
He cursed in Sindarin before leaping to his feet and moving with a speed that only another Elf could have matched. Before Gimli could stop him, he had grabbed Jessy by her shoulders, heedless of the wound in her left arm, and was shaking her with a vengeance.
"Damn your hide, girl. You were left behind for a reason but I see that you did not listen. Are you happy now? Have you proven yourself?" Legolas raged at the girl, anger clouding his vision. He did not see her blank stare caused by the madness that had possessed her.
"Answer me!" Legolas shook her harder. He wanted to beat some sense into her and only years of discipline stayed his hand.
"LEGOLAS!"
Gimli's roar penetrated the Elf's haze of anger and he turned indigo eyes on his friend. "What? Do not seek now to protect her. I care not whose ward she is, she knowingly placed her life in danger and disobeyed Aragorn's command to remain at Dunharrow!"
"Look at her!" Gimli shouted back. "She knows not what you say. Look into her eyes."
Legolas looked back into Jessy's face. There was not one spark of recognition in them. She did not know him. Only then did he realize that she had not said one word back to him, she was not the feisty lass who had argued with him less than a week before. Shame filled him and he released her.
"Have you seen Merry? I've lost him." Her voice was a mere whisper.
Legolas was at a loss for words.
It was Gimli who once again grabbed her hand. "We will go to him now." He looked over at Legolas. "Will you not walk with us?"
Legolas nodded and followed them towards the city gates.
Up through the city they traveled unsure of where Merry was housed though they knew from Aragorn that he had survived the battle. Finally, they met with Gandalf upon the city streets.
"Gandalf!" Jessy's cry shocked both Legolas and Gimli into silence for they had just been on the verge of greeting the wizard.
"Gandalf! I have lost Merry! He was with Éowyn but I wasn't able to keep up with them." Grief tore through the girl and her words were marred with sobs. Tears streaked through the grime and gore upon her face leaving small tributaries of pale flesh. She ran forward and collapsed at his feet. "You have to help me look for him. You have to help me find him. I've looked all night but he wasn't there. I've lost him! I've lost him!" The last few words were nothing more than moans of sorrow and guilt.
Legolas felt her anguish knife through him. He was at a loss to help her with her pain. There was a darker emotion boiling deep within him - jealousy. It was borne from other emotions that he had pushed aside. He was jealous that it was Gandalf who had pierced the wall of madness, that he had done nothing but rage at her.
Gandalf dropped to his knees and pulled the sobbing girl to him. "Hush, child. Be at peace for what was lost has been found. Merry waits in the Halls of Healing and he has asked for you. He too has grieved for he did not know what had become of you. Pippin was ready to burst from the walls to search for you but was loath to leave Merry in his time of need. I was but on my way to search and here I have found you, safe though in pain both in mind and body."
It was then that coherent thought returned to Jessy. The battle became sharp and clear, no longer hidden beneath the protective façade erected by her mind. The adrenaline, that had sustained her until that point, abandoned her. Pain knifed through her and her vision wavered from blood loss.
With a tenderness usually reserved for the Hobbits, whom he favored above the others, Gandalf lifted her into his arms and carried her to the House of Healing.
Gimli and Legolas followed behind, both eager to see Merry and Pippin. Secure in the knowledge that Jessy would heal given time and care. Legolas dealt with his emotions by burying them once again. He had only been concerned for Jessy out of a sense of kinship. Given time he may actually believe the lies he was telling himself.
Their reunion with the Hobbits was a happy occasion though laced with grief and worry but they grabbed this small moment of happiness as a child clutches a beloved toy. But, Ioreth soon banished them from the chamber so she could tend to Jessy's wounds.
The four friends walked awhile until Merry became tired and they settled themselves upon the wall alongside the House of Healing.
They could see the River Anduin gleaming like a ribbon upon the land.
Legolas noted the gulls whirling and diving in the morning sun and a great yearning was born within his heart. "Look! Gulls! They are flying far inland. A wonder they are to me and a trouble to my heart. Never in all my life had I met them, until we came to Pelargir, and there I heard them crying in the air as we rode to the battle of the ships. Then I stood still, forgetting war in Middle Earth, forgetting those dearest to my heart; for their wailing voices spoke to me of the Sea. The Sea! Alas! I have not yet beheld it. But deep in the hearts of all my kindred lie the sea-longing, which it is perilous to stir. Alas! For the gulls. No peace shall I have again under beech or under elm."
"Say not so!" said Gimli. "There are countless things still to see in Middle Earth, and great works to do. Did you not heed the words of Galadriel, brought to you by Gandalf? `From the Sea you can be freed.'
"Nay, Gimli. That way is closed, if it were ever open to me at all."
"Foolish Elf! She said you must look to what was buried deep. Damn your pride for happiness is but a few fleeting steps from you, yet you turn from it. You deny that which would bring you peace."
"Don't be so gloomy!" Pippin cried at his friends. "The Sun is shining, and here we are together for a day or two at least. I want to hear more about you all. Come, Gimli! You and Legolas have mentioned your strange journey with Strider about a dozen times already this morning. But you haven't told me anything about it."
Legolas recounted the events that had led them to the ships and then to the Pelennor Fields. They were quiet for a long time afterwards, each lost in their own thoughts.
The silence was broken by one of the maids of the House of Healing. She came to them with news that Jessy would recover. She would probably always walk with a limp from the arrow wound to her leg but her arm would heal. They asked if they could see her but were denied. She had been given a draft to help her sleep and Ioreth did not want her disturbed.
Later that evening, Legolas and Gimli returned to the camp outside the city walls. They had just settled down by their campfire when Aragorn approached them.
"How are Merry and the others?" he asked then as he took a seat.
"They are well. Merry is still weak but on the mend. We were unable to see Jessy but have been told that she will also recover." Gimli said quietly still concerned over the melancholy Legolas was suffering from.
"I held a council today and we have reached a decision. We will march to Mordor's gates, hoping to give Frodo time to accomplish his mission." Aragorn informed them.
"I will march with you. Though I wonder if we will return from the Black Gates," Gimli said.
"I will also accompany you on this journey." Legolas said quietly his mind still in turmoil over his conflicting emotions.
The three friends lapsed into silence as they stared into the crackling campfire.
It was mid-morning of the next day when Jessy finally awoke. Her whole body ached. It took all her willpower to ignore the throbbing in her left leg. She sat up slowly, wincing as her back muscles protested the movement.
She vaguely remembered the healer forcing her to drink a foul tasting liquid then the world seemed to tilt on its axis. The memories of the previous day came rushing back and she shuddered. For one brief moment, she was back on the battlefield, her senses overloaded. Jessy shook her head to clear away the horror of what she had experienced. There was no time for that now, she had to get dressed and find Merry and the others.
Someone had dressed her in a nightgown and she looked about for her clothing, weapons and armor. On a small table next to the cot was her circlet but she didn't see her other possessions. She slowly swung her legs over the side of the cot and attempted to stand. At first, her left leg buckled when she put weight on it but after a couple of tries, she managed to get to her feet.
Jessy really missed home or at least the wonderful advances in medicine such as Darvocet. One of the other cots held Éowyn but she was sleeping and Jessy didn't want to disturb her. She was glad that her friend had survived the battle. Glancing over she noticed that Merry's cot was empty so she made her way towards the door.
Jessy squinted as she shuffled out into the sun-filled courtyard. She started to head for the archway that lead to another part of the tower when she heard a gasp to her right.
"My Lady! Ye cannot be seen wandering about in nothing but your nightclothes. Tis not proper!"
Jessy looked over. A young woman, not much older than herself, stood holding a basket filled with linen. She wore a shocked expression of disapproval on her face.
Ah hell, Jessy groaned silently, just what I need, a fucking puritan. "Look, someone took my stuff. My choices were really limited, it was either this nightgown or nothing at all." Jessy had had enough and was not in the best of moods considering everything that had happened.
"Your things have been put away for safekeeping. Please, go back inside and I will bring you a fresh gown." The woman began to usher Jessy back inside.
"I would prefer some sort of leggings and tunic, if it's all the same." Jessy limped back into the room, towards her cot.
"It would not be seemingly for ye to wear such things." The woman continued primly.
"Listen, I don't care about proper or seemingly or whatever. Just get me my stuff, it won't be the first time I've had to wear dirty clothes since I've gotten to this place." Jessy was quickly losing her patience. The fact that the cut in her arm was now keeping time with the throbbing in her leg didn't help matters.
"I am truly sorry, my lady, but we are under strict orders from Lord Aragorn that ye are not to have your weapons and things returned to ye."
"Ahhh, Fuck! That sorry son-of-a-bitch!" Jessy had reached the end of her rope. "Listen, I don't give a rat's ass what that prick told you. GET ME MY STUFF!"
The young woman gasped and quickly fled the room.
Jessy sat on her cot and waited. It wasn't long before the older woman who had care for her the day before entered the room followed by two guards. She was carrying a folded bundle of light green cloth. Before Jessy could launch into a tirade, the woman addressed her in a brusque tone.
"Ye will not find me so easy to upset as Matiltia so save your tantrum. I have been told that ye are a lady of breeding so I suggest ye act like it. Ye will put on this gown and I will hear nothing more on the subject. If ye do not do as I say, then I will be forced to have the guards help ye."
Ioreth dropped the gown on the cot. She stepped back and folded her arms, waiting for Jessy to make a decision.
Jessy regarded the woman and guessed correctly that she was not joking. Seeing that she had no choice, she reached over and grabbed the gown. Jessy was not about to give the guards a free show so she pulled it on directly over her nightgown.
The old woman smiled and then motioned for Jessy to follow her from the room. "If ye will follow me, Lord Aragorn has made arrangements for ye to have your own room."
Jessy had little choice but to do what the woman asked. She reached over and grabbed her circlet off the small table. Jessy followed the old woman from the hall flanked by the two guards. They walked through a series of twisting hallways and open courtyards. They came to an archway that opened onto a narrow staircase. The stair twisted upwards and ended at a small foyer outside a stout wooden door.
Ioreth opened the door and motioned for Jessy to enter.
Jessy stepped slowly into the circular room. Across from the door were several small, narrow windows that served to let in sunlight and fresh air. To her left was a great canopied bed on a raised dais. The curtains and bed clothing were a dark burgundy made from a heavy material that Jessy couldn't place. On the wall directly across from the bed was a great, stone fireplace complete with a small fire. The fire did little to brighten the dark room but it helped take some of the damp chill from the air. Beneath the windows were two high backed chairs with a low table between them. A small table holding a pitcher and large bowl stood near the bed with a chamber pot next to it.
"Ye will find some embroidery in the basket near the chair which should keep ye occupied until such time as Lord Aragorn sees fit to release ye. The guards will bring ye food and I suggest that ye do not try their patience with some silly escape attempt. If ye need anything, there will be a guard outside the door. Ye have but to call out to him."
Jessy's brain had just registered the `release ye' part of the woman's statement when the door closed with a dull thud and she heard the distinct clicking of a key in a lock. The lock on the door to be exact. Jessy rushed over to the door and pulled on the handle. It was no use, she was locked in.
~*~*~*~
The Sun was beginning its decent in the west when Aragorn approached Legolas. He was standing near the edge of the camps watching the seagulls dip and glide on the wind.
"You hear the call of the Sea."
Legolas nodded. "It gnaws at me. Though I still long to walk beneath the trees of this world." He grew still, eyes distant.
"Perhaps there is something else that lies heavy upon your heart."
Legolas turned sharply to look at Aragorn. The future king wore a knowing smile.
"I know not of which you speak." Legolas replied a little too harshly.
Aragorn chuckled. "Do not seek to make me party to your lies. It is obvious, yet you would deny not only yourself but her as well."
"It is for the best. My duty lies elsewhere." Legolas turned his attention back to the gulls as if to dismiss the subject.
"I am not asking you to turn aside your duty. Tomorrow morning we will leave this place perhaps never to return. But this night, you are free from what must be done. Go to her, Legolas. Do not let words spoken in anger be the only memory you leave her if it is your destiny not to return from the Black Gates."
Legolas looked back over to Aragorn as he considered his friend's words. "And what makes you think she will stay here? Not once when we have left her in safety has she stayed. Nay, she has sallied forth each time at the risk of her life."
Aragorn's answer was to hold up a large, brass key that gleamed in the fading sunlight. "Not this time."
Legolas nodded slowly. "And if we do not return yet Frodo is successful?"
"I have made arrangements to have her escorted to borders of Lothlórien. The Marshwardens will see her safely to Caras Galadon."
Legolas reached out and took the key from Aragorn. It felt oddly heavy in his hand.
"Ioreth will show you the way to her. Leave the key with the guard. Do not underestimate her, if she can get the key from you, she will."
Legolas smiled slightly and then turned towards the city.
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