From: "laurelin_enedlithien" To: Subject: [lassegalenslaire] Fic: Pilgrim: Wish Upon The Stars (23/?) Date: Friday, November 14, 2003 5:41 AM Hi all, I wish I could have posted this on dear Craigie's birthday, but it was not to be. The chapter was a bit resistent to my pen, but I've got it finished now. :-) I hope you enjoy. *hugs* Laurelin ******************************************************************* Wish Upon The Stars, by Laurelin (laurelin_enedlithien@hotmail.com) Overall rating NC-17 - this chapter: R. For all the official stuff, see chapter 1. Warnings: erm... two naughty Elves? ******************************************************************* Chapter 23 – Sides Of Me Lórien For your eyes only, can see me through the night. For your eyes only, I never need to hide. You can see so much in me, so much in me that's new. I never felt until I looked at you. For your eyes only, only for you. You see what no one else can see, and now I'm breaking free. For your eyes only, only for you. The passions that collide in me, the wild abandoned side of me. Only for you, for your eyes only. ~ Sheena Easton, `For Your Eyes Only' Legolas was used to waking up in Haldir's talan; he had done it many times. But this morning it was different; it was not his usual bed he was lying in and he was not lying alone in it. He still had his eyes closed, but he did not need to open them to verify, last night had not been a dream. Memories of dreams were never so clear. Dreams were never so life-changing. And nothing could be more real than Haldir lying right beside him. Indeed, he was aware of him with every sense but his sight. He could hear Haldir's soft breathing; feel the warmth he radiated; smell his delicious, masculine scent; yes, he could even taste the flavor of Haldir's kisses in his mouth. It was fading, though, and Legolas had woken up thirsty. Thirsty for more. He opened his eyes then and let them take in the new world. A beautiful world, one Legolas had been longing to see for a long time. After a few moments of this, Legolas turned his head to the left, the other side of the bed. "Haldir," he breathed. It was not meant to draw Haldir's attention, for the Marchwarden was still fast asleep, nor was it designed to wake him up; it was much too softly spoken for that. And besides, Legolas would not have thought of ending this moment so soon; there was so much peace and beauty in it. No indeed, it was good that Haldir had not heard Legolas speak his name. For the rest, Legolas would not have cared if every Elf and any living thing in Arda had heard him. He had never known that something as simple as a name could have so much meaning; evoke such strong emotions in one who spoke or heard it. That the sound of a name could taste so good in his mouth. But was it surprising, when the bearer of that name himself could touch Legolas's soul with no effort at all? In all his years, Legolas had never thought that loving someone could be so intense. Tinuril would say that it was not wise to lose himself so, and Legolas understood that it was a possibly dangerous situation he had maneuvered himself into, but if his love for Haldir was to be his blessing and his bane, then so be it. Legolas was not one to retrace his steps. He could not fight against this love he was feeling; and for the first time, his weakness and inability did not scare him. And so he smiled as he carefully rolled onto his side, registering – again – how strange it was to feel sheets slide directly over his bare skin. It was a sensation he was unaccustomed to, but although awkward, it was not unpleasant. It made the memory of last night all the more lively. Haldir was lying on his back, his head slightly tilted back and to the left, exposing a long neck to Legolas's gaze. His hair was behaving uncharacteristically loose, wild almost; it fanned out over the pillow, flowing this way and that. One arm lay loosely bent next to his head, the other stretched beside him; his hands were open and relaxed. The sheets lay draped over his waist, leaving his chest and stomach bare. Legolas remembered that Haldir had been so afraid of his dreams that he had trained himself to sleep shallowly, and not more than three hours a night; but it was hard to believe that this was the same Elf, one who could live on naps alone and had done so, six centuries long. He slept deeply now, and with abandon; his legs were comfortably spread beneath the sheets and he lay close to the middle of the bed, and Legolas smiled when he realized that Haldir was used to having his bed to himself. He was clearly not accustomed to sharing it with another. Legolas found himself being a spectator; a greedy consumer of the magnificent artwork on display right in front of him – only for him. For although the members of the patrol could see Haldir naked on several occasions, Legolas knew this was something only that special one in Haldir's life was allowed to see; Haldir sleeping, his guard down. No captain lay here, no warrior, no tortured soul, weary after six hundred years of chosen loneliness; he was just Haldir, an Elf at peace, resting his mind and body after a tiring evening of revelations and confessions followed by several hours of lovemaking. Legolas could not take his eyes off of him. He was certain that he could easily spend hours like this, watching and reminiscing, and be completely content. Not that he would mind if Haldir woke now. Sleeping Elves couldn't kiss after all. Legolas felt the beginning of a grin take shape on his face. He reached out a hand. A light touch wouldn't hurt, would it? He softly stroked his fingertips along Haldir's neck, from his ear to his collarbone, and further down from there. His touch was still uncertain, he noticed, like it had been last night. It was true that his hands had been helped and guided by his newly-discovered instinct, but his eyes had rested on Haldir's face almost desperately; he needed the reassurance. Was he doing it right? Was Haldir pleased with his touches? Did they have an effect on him? And the undressing; was it clumsy, or too hasty? How much initiative should he take? Later, though, once he'd been victorious in the battle against the ties and knots of Haldir's clothing – a battle which Haldir let him fight on his own – and Haldir had given sufficient proof of how appreciative he actually was, Legolas found it easier to relax, surrender to his instinct... and to Haldir. Legolas's fingers now played over Haldir's chest and stomach for a while, tracing ribs and firm muscles. Haldir shifted slightly once, but did not wake up. Hm. Legolas withdrew his hand and just watched again for a moment. What he felt for this Elf... and it was nothing short of astounding that Haldir felt the same way about him. An old thought came floating to the surface: how to proceed from here? Where would this lead them? But he shrugged it off; what purpose would brooding serve? It would only be a waste of precious time. Surprisingly, Haldir had not been completely sure of himself and his actions last night, either. Legolas could tell that Haldir was trying to determine how new exactly this all was to the younger Elf, though deep inside he must have known already. Legolas's startled reaction when Haldir's fingers first made clear what exactly was going to happen, told Haldir enough, and he hesitated then. Legolas had had strong suspicions, of course, as to how males made love to one another, but it wasn't until now that he had them confirmed. Indeed, at that point he'd realized how innocent and naïve he still was. Of course, Legolas was not a stranger to the release one could give himself, but it had always been quick, straight-to-the-point and very unerotic. The physical love between two was undiscovered territory. And now it was suddenly so real and confronting, and the prospect... well, painful. He trusted Haldir, but this... it seemed impossible. "We do not have to go all the way," Haldir whispered soothingly. "Or it can be the other way around, if you prefer..." But Legolas recovered quickly. "No. It has to happen someday. I want it to be you, Haldir." Still Haldir hesitated. Legolas slid his arms around his neck and kissed him urgently. "Please, Haldir," he whispered between two kisses. "Please." Later, as Haldir's talented fingers, aided by some oil from the bathroom, were preparing him for what would happen later, Legolas experienced a strange combination of very uncomfortable pain and building arousal. Legolas found the slow way Haldir was readying him mind-blowing; not even his wildest dreams had told him that there could be pleasure in this, yet it was true. And his body gave responses all on its own. It twisted and arched and writhed and he heard sounds come from his mouth that he had never heard before. His hands were hurting, so firmly were they grasping the sheets, and his knees came up on their own account, making his position even more welcoming. And all of this did not go unnoticed, for Haldir was closely watching his every reaction. At that point, Legolas did not even care anymore that Haldir's eyes had access to every inch of his body; quite the contrary. No longer able to stop himself, Legolas now reached out again and touched one of Haldir's nipples. Haldir's reactions to that particular caress last night had been fascinating. Rubbing slowly, Legolas watched the circle of dark-rosy flesh tighten and harden beneath his fingertips. Haldir sighed and shifted a little. If he woke up now, would he be displeased with what Legolas was doing, the younger Elf wondered? Was it worth taking that risk? Deciding that it was, Legolas snuggled closer, as close as he could without bringing their naked bodies in contact, for that sensation would surely awaken parts of him that were best left sleeping for now. Continuing to caress Haldir's chest, Legolas moved to the other nipple and repeated the procedure. Then back to the first again, and so he kept himself occupied for a couple of minutes, moving back and forth between them, fascinated by the changes he could evoke in Haldir's body, even when his lover was asleep. Still, all he got from Haldir were sighs. Haldir then turned his face towards him. His sleep was still not disturbed though; by Varda, had that Elf taken some sort of sleeping drug? Legolas studied Haldir's face for a moment; the high brow, the noble nose. And the sensual, talented lips. Legolas bent forward and kissed Haldir briefly on the mouth. His scent was intoxicating, and Legolas kissed him a second time. Not really having control over his body, he moved in closer, and the tip of his tongue came out to lick across Haldir's lips. He heard a groan then, and as he was wondering if it came from his own mouth, he realized that he was lying full-length against Haldir now, his thighs parted, and that his hips were moving slightly, rubbing against Haldir's thigh with a part of him that was becoming more awake by the second. Opening his eyes, he looked straight into the dark blue depths of Haldir's eyes, no longer covered by his eyelids. The next moment he found himself on his back, his hands pinned above his head and Haldir straddling him, grinning. Sitting on top of him in all his glory. Radiant. Beautiful. Every inch was temptation. Every curve was perfection. For Legolas to see and admire and memorize. "Good morning," Haldir said. Legolas swallowed and licked his lips. Caught red-handed. "Good morning," he said. "Strange, my nipples are a little painful," Haldir said. "Have you any idea why?" The gleam in his eye was unmistakeable. Legolas shook his head. "Is it a custom of yours to sneak up on your unsuspecting lovers?" Haldir continued. He was clearly enjoying this. Legolas shook his head again. "How long were you awake, anyway?" he asked. "Long enough. I just wanted to know how far you would go." Legolas blushed. "Sadly, I will never know since I betrayed myself," Haldir said. "My self-control is not what it once was." "Shouldn't I be thankful for that?" Legolas said. "Self-control sounds boring in this context." "It can have its advantages," Haldir said. He looked down at Legolas for a moment. "Give me one reason," he said then, "why I shouldn't kiss you right now." "If you kiss me, my mouth will be too occupied to tell you that I love you," Legolas said. Haldir smiled. "That is a good reason," he said, "but not good enough." He bent down and kissed him, doing it slowly and warmly. He did not slacken his grip on Legolas's wrists, however, and Legolas could do little more than give in to Haldir's exploration. He moaned and writhed a little, displeased that there was almost no body contact between them. He was surprised by the intensity of his own want, his craving for this Elf. After Haldir had broken the kiss, he seemed content with just watching him again, still with that partly amused, partly burning gaze. Legolas lay under him, frustrated and breathing heavily. He licked his lips again and pushed his hips up reflexively. What was Haldir waiting for? It was obvious what they both wanted; their bodies had already prepared themselves for it. "Haldir," Legolas breathed, "please." Haldir let go of Legolas's wrists and began to stroke his fingertips over Legolas's arms and down his chest. "Do you beg me?" he asked. "It does appear that way," Legolas said, arching into Haldir's light touch. Haldir laughed softly. But he did not tarry, taking the bottle of oil from the nightstand. He shifted, spreading Legolas's legs and kneeling between them. Legolas drew his knees up, shivering when Haldir began to touch him so intimately, being generous with the cool oil. "Will I always need that?" he breathed. "It depends," Haldir replied. "On what?" "On how frequently you practise," Haldir grinned. "Oh, you know how I dedicated I am when it comes to practices," Legolas said. Haldir smiled. "I do. I think I shall not be disappointed." "I shall strive to please you," Legolas said. "You already do," Haldir said hoarsely as he stretched himself on top of the other Elf, and the desire and loving adoration in Legolas's eyes almost were too much for him. "But if you desire to please me even more," he said, sliding fingertips over Legolas's lips, "I shall never try to stop you." Legolas smiled, and Haldir dipped his head to replace his fingers with his lips, intending to pour all the love and tenderness and passion he was feeling for him into this kiss. Legolas was almost too sweet. When his suspicions about Legolas's innocence were confirmed last night, he'd felt like crying. Haldir had been first lover to a few maidens long ago, but he'd never taken a male's innocence. His male lovers had usually been older, more experienced than he. And now to find out that Legolas... Haldir had hesitated, only for a second. Was he worthy? Would he do it right? But Legolas trusted him so much, and it felt so right. Even now, in the light of morning, Haldir could not believe that he would ever voluntarily leave this bed and Legolas's arms. He was in love beyond repair. When he slowly joined their bodies together, Legolas clenched his teeth, but he made no sound. "I am sorry, Legolas," Haldir whispered. But Legolas shook his head. "'Tis already much better than yesterday," he said, and he smiled so genuinely that Haldir simply had to lean down and kiss him again. He wondered if he would ever be able to resist Legolas's smile. Probably not, but what did it matter, when obviously neither of them wanted him to resist. They made love then, and both were touched deeply by the near perfection of it. It was unexpected; after all, Haldir had not loved, physically or mentally, in six hundred years, and Legolas's experience was newborn, not more than a few hours old. But Haldir realized, and the thought almost made him smile, that Legolas was a swift learner also in this respect; he was learning how to meet Haldir's movements, increase the pleasure for both of them. And his curiosity, youthful fascination and wonder were heartbreaking. This, what Legolas offered him... Haldir considered it a gift, unique and precious; and he wondered what he had done to deserve it. This time, Legolas watched him; Haldir felt Legolas's eyes on his face and he shifted his gaze to meet the other's. Legolas did not look away, or even blink; he continued to look as Haldir loved him and the Marchwarden felt a distinct flutter in his belly, tingling toward his groin. "You are watching me," he stated. "Why is that?" "Is your conscience guilty?" Legolas asked in response, and he smiled. That smile was more fuel on Haldir's passion, but he restrained himself and smiled too. "Yes, in fact. I have thoughts of your father in my mind." Legolas's eyes grew wide. "What?" "Not in the way you think." Haldir laughed at his own unfortunate choice of words. "I just realized... when your father asked me as your mentor, I am pretty sure he did not intend this to be part of the job description." Legolas laughed breathlessly. "Perhaps not. But I do not think that he will be displeased with your taking initiatives." Haldir meant to ask Legolas what he meant by that, but Legolas effectively cut off his speech, indicating that he desired other things than talking right now. Haldir was happy to oblige, and soon he no longer had the coherency to form phrases other than Legolas's name. Together they rocketed to the heavens, and their release, when it came, was utterly sweet bliss. A delightful uniting of bodies and souls. There were utterances of passion and whispers of love and affection. And many more long, loving kisses and worshipping caresses. Completion. Perfection. Not much later they lay on their sides, their legs entangled. Haldir had drawn Legolas to his chest and was resting his cheek against the blond scalp while he slowly threaded his fingers through Legolas's wood-scented hair. "Sweet Legolas," he said. "You know not what you do to me. You make me into a pathetic, emotional weakling." But he smiled as he said it. "You will never be weak, Haldir," Legolas said. "Weakness has no grip on you." "You must not idolize me," Haldir said. "I am not as noble and steadfast as you think I am. I have my own flaws, and they drive me crazy often enough." "I know that," Legolas said cheerfully. "You can be frustratingly distant and reticent, and you have a tendency to undervalue and efface yourself." "Indeed?" Haldir chuckled. "Yes." Legolas looked up, and his amused eyes met Haldir's. "But I think there is hope for you. I have sensed some improvement since last night." "Not very distant and reticent, was I?" Haldir said, and he took Legolas's chin between his fingers and kissed him. "Haldir?" Legolas said after Haldir's mouth had moved away again. "Yes?" "Am I a good kisser?" Haldir smiled. "Dearest Legolas, read the signs. Why, do you think, am I unable to stay away from your lips longer than two minutes?" "Because you are a famished Elf?" Legolas suggested. "That, too." Haldir chuckled low in his throat. "Still, I want you to feed me and no one else." Legolas smiled, but said nothing. Haldir lifted a hand and affectionately rubbed a finger over Legolas's forehead. "Oh, Legolas," he said tenderly, "always striving for perfection, aren't you. Are you so afraid you don't please me enough?" "Isn't that a justified fear?" Legolas said. "I have no idea what I'm doing. Still I want to... well..." "Yes, what?" "I want to keep you satisfied," Legolas confessed, and he blushed. Haldir laughed, enfolding Legolas in his arms. "Legolas, mîr-nîn, I assure you, you won't have to worry about that. You will know what to do, trust me." And he added more softly, "And I shall teach you, if you want." Legolas's eyes glinted. "You have always taught me well." "And you have always performed to my satisfaction," Haldir said, and he reflexively bent down for a kiss. "There! You see?" he cried then. "I'm doing it again." Laughing, the two Elves rolled over, and again, each trying to pin the other down and have dominance in the kiss. In the end, Legolas let Haldir win, and they shared a long, sensual kiss that quickly grew more urgent. When Haldir finally pulled away to allow them both some air, Legolas breathed, "Haldir." "Hm-mm?" Haldir replied, but he kissed Legolas again before his lover could continue. Legolas responded to it as eagerly as before, not minding being interrupted. He could taste the growing passion on his tongue and felt an answering tingle in his own belly. He would have shaken his head in amazement if the situation had allowed it. This was another side of him he had never seen before, had never known the existence of. But when his mouth was freed for the second time, Legolas tried again. "Haldir," he repeated. "Shouldn't we talk?" "Talk?" Haldir cocked his head, unknowingly striking a pose Legolas found irresistable. "Now? And about what?" Legolas stroked fingers along Haldir's collarbone. "About you. And me. About you and me. And the patrol. What will we do with them?" "Well... I shall have to speak to them," Haldir said. "Tell them about us and ask them – oh." Legolas's fingers had travelled down and were drawing close circles around one of Haldir's nipples. "Stop that, Legolas," Haldir sighed. "I can't think clearly when you do that, let alone talk and make sense." "Oh, forget talking," Legolas suddenly decided, and he pulled Haldir on top of him. "Talking we can do later." Kissing Haldir warmly, he opened his thighs wider and slightly lifted his hips. Haldir responded immediately, taking a comfortable position and eagerly joining in the kiss. Legolas smiled slightly when he broke the kiss and brought his mouth to Haldir's ear. "Teach me something," he whispered. ... to be continued... *** A/N: mîr-nîn: `my treasure' *** ------------------------ Yahoo! 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