Title & Chapter Number: The Weeping of the Trees (Part 1 of the 'Pilgrim' story arc) 11/12
Author(s): - Author's Index
Website: The Woodland Chronicles
Fandom: Tolkien
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Middle-earth and all its inhabitants are Tolkien's, not mine. I'd risk bankruptcy to own Legolas, though. How much would he cost me? Would they give me Haldir as a bonus? Or at least for a reduced price... A girl can dream, right?
Warnings: Incest! Don't like it? Don't read it! Simple. Also: consensual bondage, heavy sap, and angst.
Betas: Jilly! You rock! Yes, you do!
Cast: Elladan/Elrohir, slightly Legolas/Thranduil, Elladan/Elrohir/OC, Elladan/Elrohir/Thranduil implied. Oh, and Haldir's there, too. :-)
Timeline: Third Age, approx. 440 years prior to the Fellowship.
Spoilers: Nope, I don't think so.
Summary: Elladan and Elrohir travel to King Thranduil's court in Mirkwood to attend the feast celebrating Legolas's coming of age. Not only will this event change the young Prince's life forever, but that of several other Elves as well.
Notes: Dedicated to Elisa and Jilly. You have both inspired me, in your own way. Thanks!
Chapter 11 - Comfort For The Weary
Mirkwood, August 2580, T.A.
In the days that followed, Mirkwood was humming again, but it was not a happy sound this time: the Prince was leaving! The preparations were already in full swing. Thranduil's face was unreadable, but all could see that the King was not his usual self. Legolas did not show himself much, and when he was seen, his sad expression told the beholder that he was not at all excited about his upcoming journey. The Mirkwood Elves were concerned; what had made Thranduil decide to send his son away so suddenly, while they were obviously both so unhappy with the situation? Only Thranduil and Legolas knew the answer to that question, and they spoke to no-one about it.
Elladan and Elrohir, startled by the sudden change of mood in both father and son, were worried and seemed to have forgotten about their plans with Thranduil. They tried to comfort Legolas, told him that Lórien was beautiful and that he would enjoy staying there, and he gave them a thankful smile, but they sensed that their efforts didn't really make a difference. Something had occurred, they could tell; but Legolas nor Thranduil told them anything, and the twins, although they wished they could really *do* something, decided to let it rest.
The evening before Legolas's departure, Legolas did not appear at the dinner table. Thranduil looked downright miserable and although the Elves present shot each other worried looks, it was silently decided that the King should be left alone with his thoughts. Haldir was the first Elf to finish his dinner and leave the table. He was seen talking briefly to Thranduil, eliciting the first smile from the King's lips that evening, and a nod. Haldir then left.
Legolas had been standing on his balcony for a long time, inhaling the night air. The thought of leaving Mirkwood the following day made his insides squirm and he could not set himself to going down and having dinner with all those Elves who would be throwing him inquiring glances. So he'd stayed in his room. He didn't feel very hungry anyway.
Then, at one point, he climbed over the railing and, with great ease, seated himself on one of the branches of the great tree that stood close to his balcony. Leaning back against the trunk, he gazed up at the stars and wondered, for the thousandth time, how everything could have gone so astray. Deep in his heart, he knew that leaving was the best option; be away from Mirkwood, yes, even from his father. But... There was something utterly unfair about this: that he had to leave the things most dear to him -Mirkwood, his father, the few good friends he had - behind in order to become happy. He clenched his fists. If those cursed Orcs hadn't been there... then all of this would never have happened. He would have been a normal, happy Elf, not the pathetic little creature he was now.
He was so wrapped up by his own dark thoughts that he never heard the other approach. Only when Haldir spoke, was Legolas roused from his reverie.
"Prince Legolas?"
The Lórien Elf stood hesitantly on Legolas's balcony, his tall form illuminated only by the moonlight.
"Forgive me the insolence of entering your chambers without your approval, my lord," Haldir said, "but when you did not answer to my knocking..." He made an apologetic gesture.
Legolas did not reply rightaway. His heart had made a strange leap when he'd recognized Haldir and he was not sure what to think of this. It was the same sensation as the one he'd felt when his father told him that Haldir would be his mentor; it was the only thing about this whole undertaking that did not make him feel miserable, and it confused him.
And now the handsome guardian on his balcony, just like that. The thought alone gave Legolas a strange tingle in his belly, as if hundreds of butterflies were chasing each other there.
"How can I be of your service, Haldir?" Legolas asked, weary.
"May I join you?" Haldir asked simply.
That was unexpected, and Legolas's heart thumped wildly. "Suit yourself," he said, in what he hoped was a casual tone. Then, wondered if he sounded rude. If so, Haldir did not pay heed. He merely climbed over the railing like Legolas had done and within seconds, joined Legolas on his branch. Legolas watched the other Elf's approach with mixed feelings; it had been just him and his gloomy mood for most of the day, so someone's company was not unwelcome, but the fact that it was Haldir made him feel nervous. Why had he come? What was he going to say?
Haldir sat down in front of him, balancing gracefully on the branch as if it was his second nature. Which, Legolas realized, was probably exactly the case. When Haldir merely looked at him without speaking, Legolas's unease increased tenfold. "Why came you to seek me out, Haldir?" he asked, unable to hold his tongue.
"I was hoping you'd do me the honour of having a modest dinner with me," Haldir said and, with a tentative smile, produced a round bread from his bag. Legolas looked at it in wonder. "Stopped by at the kitchen on my way," Haldir explained as he broke the bread in parts and offered Legolas one. Incredulous, Legolas accepted it silently, not sure what to think of this.
"Why?" he asked then.
"Because you missed dinner. And I figured... I promised you to tell you more about Lórien," Haldir said. "I thought that maybe this was a good moment to keep that promise, and tell you more about... the stream of Nimrodel for example, like you requested."
"Well," Legolas said bitterly, "I'll be seeing it with my own eyes soon enough now, won't I?"
Haldir said nothing, merely looked at Legolas with unreadable eyes. Legolas felt instantly ashamed, and he reached out to touch Haldir's hand briefly. "I am sorry, Haldir," he said, "I should not have said that. Forgive me."
Haldir shook his head with a reassuring smile, silently telling Legolas that he held no grudge.
"I am thankful for the kind thought, Haldir," Legolas said, "and for your company. But now is not the time to speak of Lórien. I hope, though, that you will be willing to show me the beauty once we're there, and tell me your stories then."
Haldir nodded. "With pleasure," he said kindly.
They sat silently for a moment as they both ate. Legolas found that he was hungrier than he'd wanted to admit, and he noticed that Haldir always gave him the largest parts of bread. Haldir then reached into his bag again and produced a leather water skin, which he opened and then offered to Legolas. "It's wine," he said. "A light one; we don't need headaches while travelling tomorrow."
Legolas smiled and accepted the skin. The wine was cool and had a light, fruity flavor; it tasted good. Legolas allowed himself to relax a little on the branch. Haldir did not ask him difficult, confronting questions, which was a relief. His presence was comforting, and Legolas admitted to himself that, no matter how unwilling he was to leave Mirkwood, the fact that Haldir would be going with him was something to be thankful for.
"I have not yet thanked you, Haldir," Legolas said then, "for accepting the task my father has bestowed on you."
"There is no need, my prince," Haldir said. "As I already told your father, I do it gladly."
"But why?" Legolas blurted out, and he instantly regretting this slip of the tongue. He hoped that Haldir wouldn't see his blush in the dark.
Haldir laughed softly. "Why? Because any Elf would consider it an honour to be chosen by the King to teach his son. And," he added, "because I enjoy your company, Prince Legolas."
Legolas's face felt aflame. "Oh..." was all he said.
Haldir was silent after this. They ate and passed the wine flask back and forth between them until it was empty. In the end, Legolas brushed the crumbs from his lap and leaned back comfortably. He wondered how much his father had told Haldir, about his reasons to send him to Lórien... but he decided not to ask, not now... He was actually enjoying this moment of peacefulness and he did not want to spoil it by bringing up this subject.
Both gazed up at the sky for a long moment, and Legolas was surprised to find how comfortable the silence was between them, no matter how little they knew of each other. And so they sat for a long while, silent but comfortable in each other's presence, and both occupied by their own thoughts. After Haldir had left, there was actually a ghost of a smile on Legolas's lips.
~*~*~*~
The Lórien party left shortly after sunrise. A small group was there to see Legolas away; Thranduil of course, several Mirkwood officials, and, on Legolas's request, the twins of Imladris.
"We will come to visit you in Lórien, Legolas," Elrohir said cheerfully as he embraced the prince.
"I will be looking forward to your coming," Legolas said softly.
"Take care, mellon," Elladan said as he followed his brother's example. "And remember," he said into Legolas's ear, "there is *nothing* you can't do, Legolas Greenleaf. Show those Lórien Elves what a Mirkwood prince is made of."
That brought a little smile to Legolas's lips. "Thank you, Elladan."
"Is it a promise then?"
"It's a promise."
Then it was Thranduil's turn. He looked calm and he smiled as he hugged Legolas firmly. "Know that I love you and am proud of you," he said. "Work hard and enjoy yourself. That is all I will say. And Elladan's advice...", he nodded at the eldest twin, "... was good as well. Keep it in mind."
"Will you come and visit me?" Legolas asked softly.
"When two years have passed," Thranduil said, "I will come and see for myself how you are faring. I hope to see you happy, and unwilling to travel back with me." He smiled.
Legolas did not smile back. It seemed impossible, his father's wish. He gave Thranduil's form a last squeeze with his arms, kissed his cheek and turned away, making place for Haldir, who took the King's hand and shook it.
"Do not worry, sire," he said. "The Prince is safe while my men and I guard him. And I will make sure your every wish is carried out. Once we've arrived in Lórien, I will send a messenger to Mirkwood, to report to you the Prince's safe arrival."
"I thank you, Haldir," Thranduil said. "Travel safely. May the beauty of Lórien shine forever."
Haldir bowed, then turned to join his men. Legolas was already on his horse; Haldir was the last one to mount. Legolas was in travelling garments, and wore a long hooded cloak. His father had presented him with a new bow, heavier and taller than his old one, and inlaid with silver; he now carried it on his back, together with a filled quiver. His eyes were on Thranduil, until the party took its leave and he was forced to turn his gaze to the path before him. Thranduil and the others stood silent as the Lórien Elves began their journey home, with the Mirkwood prince in their middle. Before they disappeared from view, Legolas looked back one final time. His eyes locked with Thranduil's over the distance, but neither raised a hand or gave any other form of greeting. Thranduil smiled at him; that was all.
And then they were gone between the trees. The Mirkwood officials glanced at the King, waiting for him to move; but Thranduil did not move a muscle. He was no longer smiling. The Elves waited for a sign; the protocol forbid them to do anything before the King did. But Thranduil did not move or speak for at least a minute. One of the Elves shifted uncertainly.
"Please leave me for a moment," Thranduil finally said softly.
One of the younger Elves opened his mouth to speak, but another silenced him with a gesture, and, taking him by the shoulder, forced him to retreat with the others. Elladan and Elrohir joined them, exchanging a meaningful, worried, glance. Thranduil remained behind; he still hadn't moved. But Elrohir, who was the last one to enter the palace, caught in a fleeting glimpse how the King dropped to his knees and covered his face with his hands. Whether he was crying, Elrohir could not tell, but his despair was apparent, and it tore Elrohir's heart apart.
It was a heavy silence between Elladan and Elrohir that morning. The whole palace was filled with a tense silence that day as Thranduil tended to his usual business, his obligations; still beautiful, but at the same time a shadow of his usual self. It pained everyone who saw it, especially the twins, who'd come to know the King as a cheerful Elf who didn't lose his courage so easily. The information Anyriand had given them - that Thranduil had been a fiery men's lover in his early years, and that he had not taken a new lover after the death of the Queen - seemed useless now; for how could they continue pursuing Thranduil, now that he was in this state?
Thranduil made a brief appearance at the dinner table that evening, speaking only when he was being spoken to. Always polite, but without even the slightest trace of joy. That he was the first one to leave the table again, did not come as a surprise to the twins. What *did* come as a surprise though, was that a servant appeared at their door that evening, telling them that the King wished to speak to them. Their surprise increased even more when the Elf led them not to the King's study on the first floor, but to his private chambers in the eastern wing. With a bow, the servant then took his leave and left the twins standing in front of a dark wooden door. They exchanged a glance that spoke of their confusion, but said nothing. Elladan raised a fist and knocked softly.
"Yes?"
The twins shuffled inside and found themselves in a well-lit, intimate room, simply furnished with two sofas, a low table, a desk with chair against one of the walls and, on a heavy granite column, a marble bust portraying a handsome, proud-looking Elf, whose lifeless eyes gazed into the room sternly. Two doors, one in the eastern wall and one in the southern wall, probably led to Thranduil's bed- and bathroom. Thranduil himself stood in the middle of the room, looking tired. He welcomed them with a pained smile and asked them to close the door behind them.
"You must wonder why I sent for you," he began, and they nodded hesitantly.
"I know that my sudden decision to send Legolas to Lórien is on everyone's tongue right now, and you probably noticed that our parting was... emotional."
The twins nodded again, unsure where this was going.
"This may sound strange to you," Thranduil said, "but with Legolas's departure, I lost the best friend I have here in Mirkwood." He looked at them, gauging them for a reaction, but they merely nodded in understanding.
Thranduil now began pacing the room. "If he means so much to me, then why did I send him away? And why did we part under such unusual circumstances? I know those questions have been on your minds all day. Am I right?"
Elladan cleared his throat. "Yes, sire. We have seen how distraught both you and Legolas were, and we were worried."
Thranduil stood in front of the bust and let his gaze linger there for a moment. "I'm not sure why I'm doing this," he said. "I've been walking around with this since the night after the ceremony, but..." He turned to the twins with a sorrowful expression. "If I continue to carry this on my own I think I will go mad."
Thranduil sat down on one of the sofas and rubbed his eyes wearily. "Now answer me in truth: can I trust your secrecy?"
"Lord Thranduil," Elrohir said, "you can be sure that not a word you utter will be heard by another."
Thranduil nodded wearily and gazed at them for a moment. "Good," he sighed. "Please sit down." He indicated the other sofa.
When the twins sat, Thranduil remained silent at first, and Elladan took advantage of the silence by carefully asking, "Forgive me, lord, but why have you chosen to confide in us?"
"I know we've known each other only for a short period," Thranduil said, "but I recognize trustworthy Elves when I see them. I am thankful for the friendship you've offered my son - I know your companionship meant a lot to him - and, to put it simply, I like you and feel I can trust you."
He took a breath, as if bracing himself. Then looked Elrohir in the eye and said unexpectedly, "Now please tell me, Elrohir, have you found the love of your life already?"
Elrohir blinked, taken aback, but kept Thranduil's gaze. "Yes," he answered. "I found him almost seventy years ago." Next to him, Elladan sat stock-still, now even more unsure where this was heading.
Thranduil nodded. "You are blessed," he said sincerely.
"I know," Elrohir replied softly.
"Would you mind telling me his name?"
Elrohir took a second before answering. This was the moment of truth, then. Within a matter of seconds, Thranduil would either be disgusted with them, or... not. Thranduil must have sensed his hesitation, for he smiled gently and said, "Do not be worried, Elrohir - it's not a trap of some sort."
"Elladan," Elrohir said then, casting his eyes down.
To their surprise, Thranduil replied with a voice that was still as calm and gentle as it had been before. "You don't have to look away, Elrohir. I've had my suspicions for a while, so it's not really a surprise. I still stand by what I said: you are blessed."
The twins both smiled then, and relaxed visibly. "This," Thranduil continued, "also makes it easier for me to tell you this. Are you still willing to hear me out? It's not a happy tale, and it might shock you."
"Yes, sire," Elladan said. "We want to help. Please tell us what happened; you can trust us."
Thranduil then told the twins what had occurred the night after the ceremony. How Legolas had come to his room, almost in tears; how, in one, terrible moment, they had kissed; what Legolas had told him afterwards; and how Thranduil, in the end, had concluded that Legolas needed to find his path on his own, and that sending him to Lórien had seemed the best solution. By the time he finished his sad tale, Elladan and Elrohir sat with a mix of shock and pity on their faces.
"Oh, gods," Elrohir said, "I never dreamed..." Elladan said nothing; he merely studied the Elf in front of him with a sad expression. The change that had taken place in Thranduil was dramatic; the proud, smiling King who had welcomed them two weeks ago was gone. Here was a man close to breaking, and he suddenly seemed much younger than he was.
"It was the right decision, my lord," Elladan then said suddenly, and Thranduil looked up at him. "Legolas's stay in Lórien will be a valuable experience for him. I am sure that, in two years' time, you will find him much happier, and more grown."
Thranduil sighed. "I hope you are right, Elladan. Still, this... what I did... it cannot be repaired. I will have to live with the memory of it. I -I just hope Legolas won't hate me for it."
"He will not," Elrohir said firmly. "He always speaks so fondly of you. He will see, he already does, that it was just a mistake. A mistake for both of you."
"Oh, Valar," Thranduil said and he covered his face with his hands, "you must think me such a despicable creature. How could I let this happen? How could I have failed so bitterly?"
Elladan shook his head. "Despicable? Fail? Lord, you let your grief cloud your judgement. From the very first moment we met you and Legolas, we were in awe of the bond between the two of you. It was a pleasure to behold, and we even found ourselves slightly envious. We never had such a good understanding with our father..."
"I am sure he never laid a hand on you, either," Thranduil said bitterly.
Elladan came from his sofa and knelt in front of the King, grasping his hands. "My lord," he said urgently, "do not say those things. Do not think so lowly of yourself. It is clear to us that your affection for Legolas is genuine and pure; there is nothing to be ashamed of, or to regret. What happened that night was a mistake with terrible consequences, but you must not punish yourself so. You have raised Legolas with all your love, and I think that had it not been for your love, he might have followed his mother back then. You became his reason to live, as he became yours, and that it had to come to this, is cruel. But there is no use in wondering what you *should* have done... You gave him a loving, safe home when he needed it and that is all that counts. It is hard right now, but I truly believe that it was a good decision. Legolas will see it, too, and he will come out of this ordeal stronger than he was. I still stand by what I said a couple of nights ago: he is a promise to Middle-earth."
Thranduil looked at him with emotion-filled eyes. "But how could I... kiss him?" he managed to say. "How could I let that happen?"
Elladan gazed into his eyes. "Don't you know the answer to that, my lord?" he said gently.
"Yes," Thranduil whispered, "I did not listen to my body because I did not want to blemish my wife's memory and now I'm paying the price for years of neglect and denial. And I've blemished her memory anyway, a million times worse." He looked from one to the other. "You must have been through difficult times together," he said. "I already feel so guilty about this..."
"Indeed," Elrohir said, who'd joined his brother and knelt beside him. "It was hard, it sometimes still is."
"But eventually, it was all worth it," Elladan said and he smiled fondly at his brother.
Thranduil smiled weakly. "I thank you for hearing me," he said then. "I am not sure why, but I feel slightly better, now that I've been able to pour my heart out."
"It was a good thing to do, sire," Elladan said. "One must not carry such a burden on his own. We are thankful for your trust, we will not betray it."
"I know you won't," Thranduil said. He noticed that his hands were still in Elladan's, and that neither he or Elladan made any effort to break this contact.
"And what will happen to you after this, sire?" Elrohir asked. "Legolas is being taken care of, but what about you?"
"I will be fine," Thranduil said. "As long as I know that Legolas is safe and well..."
Elladan shook his head. "Forgive me, my lord, but that is not enough. Legolas isn't the only one who needs to find his happiness. You do, too. Burying yourself in work will not do. You deserve so much more."
Thranduil said nothing. Then, laughed softly. "Who would have thought," he said, "that one day the sons of Elrond would be giving me advice about my personal life?"
The twins smirked. "Like our father," Elladan said, "we feel the urge to heal when we see someone hurt."
"Elrond's healing skills are well-known," Thranduil acknowledged.
"Aye," Elladan said, "but he is a healer of the body. We are better at healing a hurt spirit, especially when it belongs to someone we care for. Promise us, my lord, that you will tend to your personal happiness."
Thranduil gave a little smile. "Very well, Elladan. I promise. But I have to admit that the thought frightens me. Legolas, I'm afraid, is not the only one having difficulty with love and trust."
Thranduil's disarming, almost boyish expression triggered Elladan into doing one of the bravest things he'd ever done in his life. He released one of Thranduil's hands and brought his own, free hand to the King's face to softly caress one of his cheeks. Thranduil, stunned, did not move; didn't even blink as he gazed wordlessly into Elladan's grey eyes.
"There is no need to be afraid," Elladan said softly. "You can learn to trust again, love again."
"Can I?" Thranduil said, his voice slightly hoarse.
"I am sure of it." Elladan brought his hand back down.
Thranduil let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "And... can you help me with that?" he whispered.
"If my lord wishes it, we can, and we will," Elladan replied.
Thranduil lowered his eyes. The memory of Elladan's touch still tingled on his skin, and although he didn't know why, he felt defeated. But now that the decision had been made, there was also relief. He felt the tension fall from him when the twins rose to their feet and gently pulled him into a standing position.
When Elladan first kissed him, tentatively, the emotion welling up in him was so strong that it nearly was too much. A hand finding the nape of his neck, pulling him closer; Elladan kissing him more passionately and Thranduil allowing it. His old defenses had been breached, and he felt his knees go weak as Elladan devoured his mouth, licked his lips and played with his tongue; everything with a gentle eagerness that left Thranduil feeling utterly helpless. Then suddenly two arms embracing him from behind, Elrohir sliding his hands under the King's tunic to caress the bare skin. Thranduil, trapped between two bodies, heard a moan escape his own lips as his hands grabbed Elladan's shoulders on their own account and he began to respond to the kiss.
It was the beginning of Thranduil's surrender. Soon, he found himself in his own bedroom, clothes falling to the floor, his own and those of the twins. He spoke little as the twins made love to him that night, but it was good, it was pleasurable; there was comfort in it, and he had missed it. It had been many centuries since someone last looked at him with burning eyes and called him beautiful. It had been many centuries since his body was caressed and tasted so admiringly, and with such heartbreaking tenderness. It also had been many centuries since his legs were lifted over someone else's shoulders and his body was claimed by a searing heat...
Yes, he had missed it and it was good to have it again, to have the memory of his failure being covered by a veil of despairing pleasure, be it only for a fleeting moment.
~ Next Chapter ~
~ Previous Chapter ~
~ Library Main ~
~ Author Index ~ Character Index ~ Title Index ~
~ Hall Of Fire ~ Gallery ~
~ Links ~ Shops ~ Map ~ News ~ Rules ~ Lists ~ ~
This page is in no way affiliated with New Line Cinema or Tolkien Enterprises, and no profit is being made.
The information contained herein is NOT to be used to spam or in any other way harrass its members. Be advised that abuse of this site will not be tolerated, and the appropriate legal action will be taken.
Hall-Of-Fire.Com v.4.0, Copyright © 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009 by Cristine Cook-Fireheart. All rights reserved. This web site may not be reproduced in any form, except as occurs in normal browser caching, without express written permission from the author.
Website by Infinite Connections Design.
