Title & Chapter Number: The Weeping of the Trees (Part 1 of the 'Pilgrim' story arc) 10/12
Author(s): - Author's Index
Website: The Woodland Chronicles
Fandom: Tolkien
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Middle-earth and all its inhabitants are Tolkien's, not mine. I'd risk bankruptcy to own Legolas, though. How much would he cost me? Would they give me Haldir as a bonus? Or at least for a reduced price... A girl can dream, right?
Warnings: Incest! Don't like it? Don't read it! Simple. Also: consensual bondage, heavy sap, and angst.
Betas: Jilly! You rock! Yes, you do!
Cast: Elladan/Elrohir, slightly Legolas/Thranduil, Elladan/Elrohir/OC, Elladan/Elrohir/Thranduil implied. Oh, and Haldir's there, too. :-)
Timeline: Third Age, approx. 440 years prior to the Fellowship.
Spoilers: Nope, I don't think so.
Summary: Elladan and Elrohir travel to King Thranduil's court in Mirkwood to attend the feast celebrating Legolas's coming of age. Not only will this event change the young Prince's life forever, but that of several other Elves as well.
Notes: Dedicated to Elisa and Jilly. You have both inspired me, in your own way. Thanks!
Chapter 10 - Thranduil's Decision
Mirkwood, July 2580, T.A.
Elladan and Elrohir came down for breakfast in an exceptionally good mood that morning, but were surprised to find Legolas absent at the table. Thranduil was there, but he was not his usual self; he seemed deep in thought most of the time and barely spoke a word. The King usually had a healthy appetite but now he ate little. Something clearly was amiss. This unsettled the twins; had something bad occurred? Anyriand sensed it as well.
Anyriand cared deeply for his friend. Knew him as one of the kindest, warmest and most cheerful creatures in this world, in spite of the sorrow he'd known and the heavy burden of a threatened kingdom resting on his shoulders. Anyriand respected the King's decision not to take a lover after his wife's death, but he'd often thought that Thranduil should allow himself the distraction of pleasure; the comfort that could be found in a lover's arms. Therefore, seeing that Elladan and Elrohir cared for the King as well and were willing to give him that comfort, he'd decided to help them a little, and to gauge Thranduil today, on the twins' relationship. But now that he saw the King's sullen mood, he decided to wait for a better opportunity.
After breakfast, the twins went to Thranduil and inquired after the Prince.
"He's had his breakfast in his chambers," Thranduil replied, managing a smile. "He - preferred solitude this morning."
"I hope everything is well?" Elladan asked, concerned.
Thranduil hesitated. "Well... no, everything is not well," he said.
Sensing that Thranduil would not give them more information, Elrohir asked, "Can we go see him? Or should we better leave him alone?"
Thranduil pondered this for a second. "No," he then said, "I know Legolas cares for you. I'm sure he would like to see you."
The twins thanked him and hurried off to pay their friend a visit. Thranduil watched them go, hoping that their company would lift Legolas's spirits, be it only for a little while. Other concerned inquiries he waved politely away, and as soon as decency allowed him, he retreated to his study.
It had been a long night. Gently asking questions, Thranduil had finally succeeded in dragging it all out of Legolas; his uncertainties, his lack of self-confidence, his doubts, the emptiness he felt inside... Seeing Legolas like this made Thranduil feel like he was slowly dying inside, and the knowledge that *he* was to blame for this made it much worse. Oh, why hadn't he done anything sooner?
After Legolas finished telling his sad tale, Thranduil had picked his son's shivering form up from the floor and had seated himself on a chair, where he had sat the entire night, Legolas huddled on his lap; just like they had sat in that terrible night years ago. While Legolas slept against him, Thranduil sat wide awake and overthought everything he'd just heard. A decision had to be made. The hardest decision Thranduil had ever made in his entire, long life.
As he now paced back and forth in his study, his eyes traced the familiar things in the room; the filled book-cases against the walls, his wooden desk buried under documents and books, the carpet under his feet, piles of documents on the low table, several maps against the walls, and the portrait of his father, Oropher... He stared at it for a moment, then moved away and stood in front of the window to look outside. His study was on the first floor and beneath him he could see several of the Lórien guards practising swordfight in pairs. He watched them for a while. The captain of the guard, Haldir, was there as well; sometimes he would cross blades with one of his men, but most of the time he walked round, observing and instructing. The warrior in Thranduil admired the Elf's proud stance and fluid movements. Thranduil could see why this swordsman had deserved his rank in the Lord and Lady's service. He did not know Haldir very well, but he had seen him on a couple of occasions before. In conversation, Haldir was always polite and correct; he did not speak much about himself and seemed a bit reserved. But his eyes were warm and his smile gentle. When looking upon Haldir's face, Thranduil knew that he was dealing with a good person of great integrity. The last time he'd seen the handsome guardian, had been when Celeborn had come to Mirkwood for a visit; that was many years ago, Legolas hadn't been born yet. From what Thranduil had seen and heard in conversation with Celeborn, the Lord of Lórien depended on the guardian a great deal; more than once, Thranduil had heard them engage in political discussion, Celeborn asking for Haldir's opinion on a subject and attaching great importance to it.
Thranduil's thoughts then returned to Legolas, and his heart sank. He knew what he had to do. The decision in itself had not been difficult to make; he knew what the facts were and he knew what was necessary, what was required. He knew what was best. But to act on it, to begin making the arrangements... *that* was hard. Thranduil did not want it to happen, and he knew that Legolas would resist, as well; but Legolas's well-being was what counted, and for that, Thranduil would do anything. Including this.
His eyes fell on his father's portrait again. Forgive me, my lord, he thought; I have failed you, I have blemished the memory of my wife; and worst of all, I've let Legolas down. I don't know if I can make it right again; but this is the best solution I can think of. I have to pay a high price, but I will pay it as long as Legolas finds his happiness...
One part of Thranduil wished his father would speak to him, tell him it was the right thing. The other part of him, however, knew that he would not be able to stand the disapproving look Oropher would give him if his portrait came to life now. He'd already had too many of those in his life, and this time, now that Legolas was concerned, Thranduil would surely break under those piercing eyes. And he could not have that happen, not now; he had to be strong, decisive. He had let his emotions take over yesterday, with terrible consequences. He could not let that happen again.
A shout from one of the Lórien guards drew his attention back to the scene taking place outside. The guards were having a laugh over something. They were talking and gesturing wildly. Haldir stood listening, not joining in the conversation but with a smile on his lips. After a few moments of this merriment, Haldir said something; apparently he was asking his men to refocus on the practice, for they formed pairs again and continued their activities. Thranduil continued to watch as Haldir formed a pair with another Elf and showed him how to block a swing.
Thranduil still stood in front of the window when a servant knocked on the door and informed whether he needed anything.
"Yes, Aegas," Thranduil said, turning, "would you please go to Haldir, the captain of the Lórien guard, on the practice field and ask him if he would be so kind as to come to my study in ten minutes. I need to have a word with him."
~*~*~*~
When Haldir arrived at the King's study, he heard faint voices coming from inside, and since he'd come a bit early, he decided to wait outside. Not much later, the door opened and Anyriand stepped outside, looking grave. When he saw Haldir, however, he smiled.
"Good day, Haldir. You can go inside. He is expecting you."
"Is something the matter, my lord?" Haldir asked, wondering what this was about. He'd perceived the King's mood that morning, and now Anyriand looking so serious... He had no idea what the Mirkwood King would want to discuss with him.
"He will tell you," Anyriand said, and he gave Haldir a pat on the shoulder before walking along.
Not really assured by this, Haldir knocked on the half-open door and stepped inside, entering the spacious room. Thranduil stood behind his desk and looked up when Haldir entered. Haldir noticed that the King's mood had not improved since the morning; he looked tired and the humor was still gone from his eyes. But he gave Haldir a smile and motioned for him to come further inside.
"Good day, Haldir. Please - close the door. I need a word."
Haldir did as he was asked and approached the King's desk. "I am here, sire. What is your will?"
"Please, sit," Thranduil said, indicating a chair, and he sat down himself. He eyed the guardian for a moment, then began, "We have talked on two or three occasions before, Haldir, and we barely know one another, so you must wonder why I summoned you here."
Haldir nodded. "I do, sire. But I also remember that I pledged my sword and bow to Mirkwood upon my arrival... Therefore speak freely; I will listen. Tell me how I can be of your service."
Thranduil gave a little smile. "Thank you, Haldir. I will tell you then what this is about. I am sure you just saw Anyriand leave this room. He is a good friend of mine but the conversation we just had was one between politicians. I desire a favor of your Lord and Lady, and in their absence, I consulted Anyriand, who came here, after all, as one of their representatives. The question I had to ask him concerns whole Lórien... and my son."
This was a surprise to Haldir, Thranduil could tell. But the guardian merely nodded and remained silent, awaiting further explanation. Thranduil briefly rubbed his hands over his eyes and sighed.
"Legolas is an adult now," he continued. "And I deem it important that he learns everything there is to know about the other elven realms in this world. The throne does not yet tie him to this forest, and I want him to use that freedom while he can. Therefore, I have asked Anyriand if he thought Celeborn and Galadriel would be so kind as to receive Legolas as a guest in Caras Galadhon."
"And what did he answer to that, my lord?" Haldir asked when Thranduil fell silent after this.
"He assured me that the Lord and Lady would be happy to do so," Thranduil replied. "Therefore it is my wish that Legolas leaves together with your party as you begin the journey back to Lórien. Anyriand and I have reached an agreement in this."
Haldir nodded again, waiting patiently for Thranduil to choose his words.
"Now, Haldir, why I asked you to come here... this is not a month's visit I am talking about. Legolas will stay in Lórien several years, and the moment of his return to Mirkwood will be chosen by himself. I can do no predictions. Since this will be an extended visit, I want him to continue his studies under the supervision of a private tutor, and if there is a possibility, I also want him to follow classes with other young Elves from Lórien. Now," Thranduil said as he straightened up and looked Haldir straight in the eye, "Haldir, there is a favor I want to ask of you personally."
"Ask it of me, sire, and I will do anything within my power."
"You are a skilled and experienced swordsman, Haldir," Thranduil said, "the captain of the guard and one of the Lord and Lady's most trusted warriors and advisors. And, almost equally important, I have sensed a mutual sympathy between you and my son. You would do me and Legolas a great favor if you accepted the task of being his mentor during his stay in Lórien."
"Sire, I will be honoured..." Haldir began, but Thranduil raised his hand.
"Please, hear me out first," he said. "I will be honest with you, Haldir, like I have been honest with Anyriand. I trust that what I tell you now, will remain between us."
Haldir nodded sincerely. "Of course, sire. Naturally."
Thranduil continued, "I cannot guarantee that being Legolas's mentor will be a carefree happening. Legolas does not know yet that I intend to send him to Lórien, and he might be unwilling to go with you." Thranduil's eyes held Haldir's. "Legolas has had a difficult time after his mother's passing," he said. "He is very unsure of himself and yesterday he confessed to me that he has a feeling of uselessness and emptiness. He feels like he's standing on a crossroad and he does not know which road to choose. It makes him unhappy. I hope that his staying in Lórien, among other Elves, spending some time away from Mirkwood and his old, protective father -", at this Thranduil gave a faint smile, "- will help him find his path, and his happiness."
"I understand, sire," Haldir said.
"My son is battling several demons at the moment, Haldir," Thranduil continued, "and I wished I could help him with that, but I'm afraid I can't. It is his battle. In Lórien, he will know and trust only Anyriand and you -for now, at least - and it is very possible that he will turn to you for advice, for help... I want you to realize that before you accept this task. I realize I ask a lot of you, Haldir, and if you decline, I'll understand -but because of all the reasons I just gave, you are the most fit for the task. If you accept, I will be indebted to you until an opportunity to return the favor will come along."
"My lord," Haldir asked, "as your son's mentor, what will be my tasks, apart from being there for him if he is in need of advice?"
"I would want you to choose a private tutor and a good archery instructor for him - and I would request that you become his swordfight instructor yourself, Haldir. On top of all your other activities, I know this is much to ask. Furthermore, when you deem the time right and his progression good enough, you can send him on patrols together with your men; let him use his skills to protect Lórien against the dark forces. Whatever you think is required to make him a warrior. Do not feel the need to pamper him because of his ancestry - I don't even think he will let you. Train him as you would one of your other men. Such will be your tasks. Now that you know all this, what say you?"
"My lord," Haldir began, "first let me assure you that I appreciate the confidence you've shown in me by telling me all this and choosing me as the Prince's mentor. The information you've shared with me will not leave my lips. I understand what you ask of me and I thank you for your frankness. My answer is still the same: I will be honoured to be your son's mentor. I will find a tutor and an archery instructor for him; I will serve as his swordfight instructor myself. I will do anything in my power to make him a warrior my men can take example from. I shall treat him as if he were my own brother, and if he chooses me to confide in, I will not betray his trust. In battle, I shall protect his life with my own; for his well-being and, eventually, his safe return to Mirkwood, will be my first concern as long as he is under my protection."
Thranduil smiled, the most genuine smile so far. He rose from his seat and Haldir did the same. Thranduil held out his hand and when Haldir's joined it, Thranduil held it firmly. "I thank you, Haldir," he said warmly. "I am aware of the responsibility I put on your shoulders by asking you this, and you don't know half how thankful I am for your acceptance. I know that you will be true to your word, and the knowledge that he will be in your keeping will give me peace of mind while he's away. I truly am indebted to you, Haldir of Lórien!"
"There is no need to feel that way, my lord," Haldir said. "I accept this task gladly. Have you and Anyriand come to an agreement about the day of departure?"
"Yes," Thranduil said, and Haldir could see the newborn sparkle die in the King's eyes. "Legolas will leave with you... in four days' time."
~*~*~*~
"Four days?"
Legolas stood in front of his father, an expression of shock and misery on his face. It was not a surprise to Thranduil, but it pained him nonetheless.
"Adar, no... please..." Legolas grasped Thranduil's hands and his eyes searched his father's. "Please, adar," he begged, "do not send me from your side."
"I am not sending you away, Legolas..." Thranduil said. "Not with the reasons you think I have." Gods, it was hard to stand his ground, while his heart wept with grief and all he wanted to do was to pull Legolas against him and tell him that of course, of course he could stay...
"You do not hate me for... for what happened... yesterday?" Legolas asked softly, and he sounded many years younger.
"Legolas, no! Of course not, you silly one," Thranduil said, squeezing Legolas's hands. "Never think that! There is nothing or no-one in this world I love more than I love you. You are the light I live upon. I could never hate you. And what happened yesterday was my fault, not yours, Legolas."
"It wasn't your fault!" Legolas protested.
"Yes, it was... You came to me for comfort and I... I was weak..."
Legolas shook his head. "No, 'twas me who was weak... you weren't... You never are."
"Legolas," Thranduil urged, "this is exactly the problem. It's important that you see. You have come to believe that I am infallible. And I am not; I am not, Legolas. I have made grave mistakes... I wish it weren't so, but it is. If I had done something earlier, this would never have happened. But I can do something now, and I will; and that is why I ask this of you."
Legolas opened his mouth to protest, but Thranduil spoke first, "This journey, this visit will help you, Legolas, I am sure of it. I know you've always wanted to travel, to see more of this world... Lórien is magnificent, I know that you will agree with me once you see it. It is time for you to discover the world outside Mirkwood and find your path... without my help. Without my guidance. You can't remain under your father's wings forever. You must lead your own life, make your own decisions. Yes, even make your own mistakes and learn from them."
Legolas stared at the floor with empty eyes, defeated. It was true that he longed to see Lórien, but he hadn't expected so soon... not like this. "Would you have sent me if it wasn't for yesterday?" he asked softly.
"No," Thranduil said after a short hesitation. "I admit it changed things. I now am aware of my mistakes, my shortcomings... Spend some time away from me, from Mirkwood; a change of scenery will be good for you, a challenge... Meet other Elves, other traditions, learn new things. Once you're there and settled, you will see this is wise. You will enjoy it; trust me." Thranduil gave a smile he hoped was encouraging.
"But... but I will miss you terribly, adar," Legolas said softly, seeing it was useless to protest any longer.
"I know you will, Legolas," Thranduil said gently. "And I will miss you. But as I said, we can't always be together. Not now you're grown. I've kept you under my wings too long already. I have to get used to your absence, as you have to get used to mine." He smiled. "And this goodbye is not forever."
"When will I come back?" Legolas asked.
"That is up to you," Thranduil said. "I want you to try it for at least two years. But I hope you will think differently by the time the second year has gone by, and decide to stay longer."
Legolas nodded, but he still looked miserable. Thranduil gathered him in his arms and hugged him lovingly. "Be honest with yourself, Legolas..." he said softly. "Would you prefer to struggle on like this?"
"No," croaked Legolas, "I just wish I wouldn't have to leave you."
"It's best, Legolas," Thranduil said, "trust me, it's best..." He spoke those words to himself as much as to Legolas, he realized. He would probably have to speak them to himself many times in the near future. Hopefully, they would convince him in the end.
~ Next Chapter ~
~ Previous Chapter ~
~ Library Main ~
~ Author Index ~ Character Index ~ Title Index ~
~ Hall Of Fire ~ Gallery ~
~ Links ~ Shops ~ Map ~ News ~ Rules ~ Lists ~ ~
This page is in no way affiliated with New Line Cinema or Tolkien Enterprises, and no profit is being made.
The information contained herein is NOT to be used to spam or in any other way harrass its members. Be advised that abuse of this site will not be tolerated, and the appropriate legal action will be taken.
Hall-Of-Fire.Com v.4.0, Copyright © 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009 by Cristine Cook-Fireheart. All rights reserved. This web site may not be reproduced in any form, except as occurs in normal browser caching, without express written permission from the author.
Website by Infinite Connections Design.
