Title & Chapter Number: Fate's Mirror 7/?
Author(s): - Author's Index
Website:
Fandom: Tolkien
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: do not own these characters, they are the property of Tolkien, and I am sure he would be horrified if he read this…
Warnings: This story is rated NC-17 and contains male slash pairings and explicit sexual content. If you find this offensive, or you are under-age, I strongly suggest you stop now.
Betas: Larian Elensar
Cast: Erestor, Glorfindel, Gildor, Thranduil
Timeline: SA
Spoilers: None
Summary: Set during the second half of the second age. Reincarnated Glorfindel returns to Lindon from the Halls of Mandos to pledge his service to the High King.
Notes: The game of Ur mentioned is an ancient Mesopotamian board game somewhat like a combination of backgammon and checkers.
April, 1693, Second Age, Lindon
Thranduil gathered his things, as few as they were, and notified Amras that they were leaving for Greenwood. He could not stay in Lindon after the humiliation he suffered that morning and as he sat in front of his mirror placing the last braid in his hair, he admonished himself for his behavior. "This will teach you to open your heart to others. Father is right, I am a Prince, of royal blood, I cannot live by the same rules others do; I cannot trust, cannot let any see that I am vulnerable. Never again will I make that mistake." He pulled the braid back, clipping it in place and rose from his chair, straightening his tunic. He looked at his reflection in the mirror and summoned what pride he had left. Never had he given up so much to another as he did to Glorfindel, never had he allowed anyone to touch his heart the way the warrior did. He absently placed a hand upon his chest, trying to soothe the emptiness he felt there. It had been a rough few days, first losing his mother, then losing his heart to the warrior.
"'Tis no matter," he mumbled to himself. "I do not need a heart." He strapped on his quiver and picked up his bow and his pack and departed the chamber for Erestor's quarters.
~*~*~*~
Glorfindel wandered in the hills outside Lindon; he needed to escape prying eyes, he needed to be alone. He sat upon the ground under a large tree, closing his eyes and listening to the sound of the wind in the trees and the birds singing. The sound of flags flapping in the wind haunted his thoughts, a cool breeze blowing in from the sea caused the trees to sigh and whisper and his mind drifted to a place far away, and long buried.
Images flashed in his mind, trees of gold and silver, walls of stone, mountains and green fields. He heard the splashing of water in the fountains and the low murmur of his city's inhabitants. Suddenly he was there, in his mind's eye, in his beloved Gondolin. He turned and saw his friend and lover, and smiled broadly. His raven hair shining in the sun like polished obsidian, his roguish smile and fiery eyes. A broad smile crossed his lover's lips as he approached and he leaned in, whispering in his ear, "'Tis a miracle of the Valar that we have the same watch, meleth nín, I have not felt your touch nor seen your resplendent beauty in so long I was beginning to fear I would forget it." Glorfindel smiled and whispered, "I could never forget you, melethron, your image is burned upon my memory." A husky laugh followed by a deep whisper, "As it should be, Golden One, I would have it no other way."
The image faded, replaced by another. Screams, elves fleeing the city, discarding their belongings as their flight becomes more desperate. His lover again, this time donned in battle armor, his sword sheathed next to his hip, his quiver strapped to his back. "Agladir will cover the flank while Tuor leads the people through the pass. His own voice protested, "Nay, I shall watch the flank, I am the more seasoned warrior, Idril and Tuor must get through safely." He remembered how strenuously he argued for this charge until his lover relented. He and the warriors of his house left the city for Cirith Thoronath. He turned and saw his beloved by the fountain, his raven hair shining in the moonlight. That was the last time he saw his lover alive.
The next image that invaded his mind walking through the corridors of Mandos' halls, hand in hand with his beloved as they awaited their return home. He viewed a tapestry on the wall, a great battle before an enormous black gate; he was carrying an elf with raven hair that was wounded. Another image, he was placing a small creature the like of which he had never seen before upon a white horse. Vairë's voice drifted in his mind, **It is what is to come…** Mandos voice echoed in his ears, **It is not time for you to return, Glorfindel, you must go back to Middle Earth.** He gripped his lover's hand but to no avail, for their bodies were not substance, only air. He watched as his lover faded away into mist, returned to Aman to forever dwell in peace. While he was returned to his recovered, broken body, and placed upon the white ship sailing east. He cried out for his lover, those tending to him believing he suffered from a fever, but his words were not to be heard by his beloved warrior.
"Why?" he whispered to himself. "Why did I not heed your words? Why did I insist on leaving you? Had I stayed, had I heeded your words you might still be with me, we might not have died. You are lost to me forever, a'maelamin, for I do not know if I will ever see you again."
Again, he wondered why Mandos sent him back, why he was wrenched from his lover a second time in the bliss that had come after his death. He saw Vairë's tapestries, visions of events to come, but still he asked himself, why. Surely, there was another who could do what he was supposed to do; he was not the greatest warrior that had walked Middle Earth. He covered his face with his hands as tears rolled down his cheeks. It was punishment, he fell and was returned because of his pride, and for that, he believed he would suffer for the rest of his days.
~*~*~*~
"Come," Erestor called. Thranduil entered the Counselor's chamber and stood before his desk. Erestor rose and placed his hand over his heart and bowed his head. "To what do I owe this pleasure, my Lord?"
Thranduil's face was expressionless as he answered, "Upon further contemplation, I have decided that my soldiers and I will return to Greenwood immediately. They are well enough to travel now, and I must bear word of my mother's death to my father. I do not want him to hear it from another."
Erestor nodded. "Aye, my Lord. This is a wise decision. May we provide you with an escort, since your numbers are few and many of your guard are wounded?"
Thranduil shook his head. "No thank you, my Lord. Amras assures me we will be able to defend ourselves if we are attacked again. My mother's handmaidens will accompany her body to Valinor where she will be buried near the home of our ancestors. As it is just me and my fellow warriors, we will travel swiftly."
Erestor bowed his head again. "Very well, my Lord. Our good wishes go with you, Valar's speed on your journey."
Thranduil bowed his head. "My thanks for the hospitality you have shown us, please convey my apologies to the King and Lord Elrond for my abrupt departure."
Erestor smiled politely. "I will, my Lord."
Thranduil turned and left the Counselor's chambers and gathered his men. They departed immediately and saw that the Queen's body was placed aboard the ship, saying a final goodbye to his mother, then rode east toward the Misty Mountains.
~*~*~*~
Glorfindel returned to the palace just after the Prince left. He noted the conspicuous absence of the Prince's men and made for the training grounds, bumping into Gildor along the way.
"Gildor, mellonamin. Where are the Prince and his men? They seem to be missing."
Gildor nodded. "They left this morning to return to their homeland. It seems that the Prince changed his mind about staying. He saw his mother's body placed upon a ship then they left the docks to return home. He felt it was his duty to return home and inform his father of the loss of the Queen." He noted the look of sadness upon his friend's face. "What is it, mellonamin? You look upset."
Glorfindel waved him off. "'Tis nothing, I am just tired, Gildor." He turned and left his friend standing in the corridor and made for his quarters.
~*~*~*~
A short time after arriving in his quarters there was a knock upon his door. "Come," he answered.
Erestor entered, carrying a tray and a large, flat, wooden box. "Well, I decided to come to you since you left my quarters in such a hurry this afternoon. I thought you might like to indulge in some wine and while away the afternoon playing Ur."
Glorfindel looked up from his place by the fire. "I would have thought you had enough of my company this afternoon. Do you not have duties to attend to?"
Erestor sat across from the warrior and placed the tray and box on the table between them. "I am finished with my duties this afternoon, thank you. I would have also thought I had enough of your company. However, it seems I am a glutton for punishment. I seem to have taken a liking to a certain grumpy Vanya and have come to crave his witty banter and lighthearted demeanor."
Glorfindel looked back into the fire. "Will you not forsake this pointless exercise? I am of no comfort to those I spend time with."
Erestor smiled wryly as he handed the warrior a glass of wine and opened the box removing the game board. "Why you are bent on tearing yourself down, I do not know. I have chosen to ignore your feeble attempts to discourage me and seek your friendship anyway. Now, shall we?" He motioned to the game board.
Glorfindel reluctantly sat forward and picked up the dice, throwing them on the table and starting the play. Erestor did not broach the subject of the warrior's melancholy or the subject of the departed Prince at first. He had run into Gildor before heading for the warrior's room and learned of their conversation. Glorfindel clearly needed his support and friendship, no matter how he may deny it, and he was determined to give it to him. They sat quietly and played their game and sipped their wine for quite some time. Finally, Erestor could hold his tongue no more.
"I have asked Lord Elrond to see you," he said quietly.
Glorfindel's eyes widened. "Why?"
Erestor answered, "Your state of mind is clearly detrimental to your duties to this house. I know you to be a capable warrior, Glorfindel. You are a brilliant battle strategist, and adept at assessing situations quickly and making command decisions. However, your inability to sleep, and your state of melancholy effects your ability to see to these duties, and it must be resolved."
Glorfindel narrowed his eyes. He held on to his temper by a thread. "How could you do this without consulting me first? How can you claim to be my friend and betray me this way?"
Erestor set his glass down and leaned back in his chair. "Oh please, Glorfindel. Must we do this? You know as well as I that you are in a bad way and you need help. After what you have been through it would be unbelievable for you to be in any other way. For Valar's sake, Glorfindel, you were dead and now you are not! How could that not be a disturbing experience?"
The warrior rose from his chair, his fists clenched at his sides. "You are determined to undermine me, Erestor, and I have no idea why. I am coping with my problems and do not need your or Lord Elrond's assistance. I will ask you now to leave my quarters."
Erestor stood up, he could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and his muscles twitch in anticipation of what would come after he said his piece. "I will not leave your quarters, nor will I stop trying to get to the bottom of this, Glorfindel. I want you to tell me why it is that you act as you do? Why is it that you loathe yourself so much?"
Glorfindel pointed toward the door and shouted, "Get out! Leave me be!"
Erestor crossed his arms and calmly shook his head. "I will not."
Glorfindel grabbed Erestor by the arms, intending to forcibly remove him. However, the Counselor was stronger than he appeared and as Erestor struggled against him they fell upon the bed. They grappled with one another until finally Erestor was able to take advantage of the weakened state he was in and rolled over him, effectively pinning him to the bed.
"Tell me what plagues your thoughts and your dreams, Glorfindel. As your friend I demand to know what it is!" He held Glorfindel's wrists to the bed and sat upon his upper thighs, pinning him beneath his weight. He felt the warrior's struggle subside and saw a tear trace down his cheek. His voice was softer as he continued, "Please, mellonamin. Tell me what troubles you so, unburden your heart to me."
As Glorfindel blinked back his tears he gazed up into Erestor's pale gray eyes, he looked at the fall of raven hair that surrounded him, the ends lightly brushing his cheeks. Images of his lost love appeared in his mind and he whispered, "You are so like him, but not. You look like him, but you do not act like him. You are more somber, more thoughtful. He burned with the fire of life. He was impetuous, impish, prone to mischief. You are eloquent, calm, serene."
Erestor softened his grip. "Who, Glorfindel? Whom do you speak of?"
Glorfindel sighed and continued, "My best friend, my lover, my brother in arms. He fell with the city, fighting until his last breath left his body. He would not yield, he would not flee, so strong was his duty to our King. I should have been with him, I should have stayed where I belonged, but my pride overrode my judgement. I insisted on taking charge of quarding the King's son and daughter and aiding their flight from the city because I thought there was no other who could do it. Ecthelion bade me stay in the city and fight, but I would not listen. Instead I left and because of my pride, he fell at the hand of Gothmog, and I fell in the mountains. My pride brought he and I to ruin, my pride has forever separated us."
Erestor released the warrior's wrists and caressed his face. "Were you bonded to one another, mellonamin?"
Glorfindel shook his head. "No, but we shared a bond of brotherhood, a bond of friendship, and given time, we may have bonded with one another as mates."
Erestor stretched out beside his friend and gathered him in his arms, cradling his head upon his shoulder. "So now I understand," he whispered. "You hold yourself responsible for Echthelion's fall. Glorfindel, had you not chosen the path you did Tuor and Idril would not have survived, nor would have Eärendil. Where would we be now without them? Without Eärendil, my Lord Elrond would not exist. Without Eärendil, Morgoth would have vanquished the elves and Middle Earth would be covered in shadow." He stroked the warrior's hair and continued, "We owe our survival to you in part, without your heroism, we would not be here now."
Glorfindel sighed, relaxing into the Counselor's soft touch. "I miss him, Erestor, I miss him terribly."
Erestor placed a soft kiss upon the warrior's head. "I know, mellonamin, I know. But, one day you will see him again, one day you will return to Aman and he will be there. You will know him when you see him, I am certain of it."
He held the warrior in his arms, feeling his breathing take on a regular rhythm, and his weight press into him as he relaxed into sleep. "Sleep, Glorfindel," he whispered. "You have earned your rest."
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