Title & Chapter Number: An Unexpected Love 9-10/26
Author(s): - Author's Index
Website: Éowyn's Musings
Fandom: Middle Earth
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: All characters are J.R.R. Tolkien's, well; I'm playing with their feelings a bit :) I'm not writing to make any profit but for writing's sake, and because I love the world of Middle-Earth.
Warnings: Angst (I guess).
Betas: Undomiel ... you're a gem :)
Cast: Haldir/Éowyn
Timeline: TTT Movieverse AU
Spoilers: Some for Books & Movies
Summary: After loosing Aragorn to Legolas a broken and angry Éowyn finds love where she least expected it...
Notes: Haldir did not die at Helm's Deep, or did you see a grave? Basically I'm following the books and the movies. However I made some "slight" alterations :) Aragorn isn't in love with Arwen but with Legolas and they are already bound. Also, Éomer wasn't exiled but went to Helm's Deep with the rest of Théoden's army.
Chapter 9 – Destiny
Translation of Elvish: nín anoriel – my sun-maiden.
Haldir could not believe his ears. Only a few moments ago Éowyn had been lying in his arms and now she told him to leave. What had caused this sudden change in her? “Éowyn,” he tried. “Just go,” he could hear tears in her voice. It could have nothing to do with what he had said. Finally he had been able to voice his feelings, and here she stood, rejecting him. His pride was shaken, but worse than that, his heart was about to burst with hurt.
She heard him move behind her, soon he would be gone ‘Pray that you can forget me. Oh please, you can’t have meant these words, you can’t’. She couldn’t bear the thought of him dying because of her. Why had she given in to her feelings, why hadn’t she listened to the warning inside her head? She knew it would be her undoing to loose him, but rather her than him. In him she had found the love she had thought to see in Aragorn. How stupid she had been. When he was gone she would be able to cry, cry until no tears remained. But now she had to be strong, wait until she heard the door close behind him.
No, he could not give her up just like this. And if this would mean the end of him, if it would break his pride, he had to ask her this one question that burned in his soul ‘Why?’ Slowly he closed in on her, he could hear her sobs and it broke his heart to see her this lost. “Éowyn,” he put one hand on her cheek and turned her head around. She struggled, but he was stronger. Her eyes were closed, and he could see that it almost broke her when she said yet again, “Leave me, please.”
He put his hand under her chin, forcing her face upward. “I will. But only if you repeat that, looking me in the eye. Open your eyes and say it again and you will never have to bear my presence from this day forward.” She couldn’t bring herself to do that it would destroy her. “Don’t make me, I ... I can’t.” The room was starting to spin around her and she almost fainted. “Haldir, I can’t be with you, not when I know that in the end I will cause your death.” He looked at her in puzzlement. Cause his death? Why? How?
With a voice that was almost failing her she continued, “I know of the ways of your people. Elves choose a companion for life. They only love this once. This one person makes them complete, makes their hearts whole. If their loved one dies, this completeness is utterly unmade. Before they loved they might not have felt it, but now they do. And it becomes their end. They are ... fading away. Their soul yearns for the embrace of death. And so they die.” Haldir could not believe what he had just heard. “How, how do you know all these things?” he said while taking Éowyn into his arms, steadying her.
She smiled weakly. “Gandalf, he told us many things. After Éomer had met an elf for the first time ever, he kept asking Gandalf all these questions about your people. Finally Gandalf took both of us and taught us. He lectured us about your history, about your ancient realms. I found it so boring, I wanted to run out of the room and ride out on the planes. But then he started to talk about other things, and I was unable to even move a finger. He told us of Beren and Lúthien, how she gave up her immortality to be with him. And then...” her voice broke as her grief consumed her.
Finally Haldir understood. “You are sending me away to spare me a fate like Lúthien’s? Oh Éowyn, it is too late for that already. You cannot fight you destiny, no matter how terrible it may seem to you. It was not by chance that you came to find me, came to care for me. You were meant to.” He kissed her cheeks, her head now resting in both his palms. “There is no turning back, not if you feel the same way as I do.” It was hard for him to say these words, his pride was screaming in pain. But how much harder would it be to loose her. No, he could not even think of it.
“Éowyn, my life was in your hands before, now it is again. You are everything to me. If you do not wish for me to share your life than be it this way. But that too, would be my end.” Her eyes were filled with sadness when she looked at him, shaking her head. “I’m mortal, you would always live with the knowledge that I will die sooner or later. How can you? I’m not worthy of this, no one is.”
“You are my life, my light, my love. Sun of my life ... nín anoriel, meleth nín.” He took her into his arms, holding her as tightly as possible. “I cannot live if you are not in my life. You are the one, the only one who makes my heart complete. Mithrandir was right with what he told you, only now do I see that all the time I was missing something ... I was missing you.”
She couldn’t fight him any longer. Her strength was failing her and she clung to him as if he were the only rock in a storm. How could he love her, her, who had been so foolish to run after Aragorn. Her, who had been so beastly. Why couldn’t she be one of his kind? Why had she been born as Éowyn? “I love you,” she whispered in his ear, feeling his embrace tighten around her. “Now I know that this was also the reason why I told my brother not to give you the horses you had asked for.”
He eased his hold of her a little, looking down into her eyes questioning. “I couldn’t bear the thought of you being wounded again, of being killed. And I also thought that I had gone mad, these feelings for you ... I thought seeing you would make me go insane in the end. I longed for you, so much...” His warm lips were upon hers all of a sudden. A soft and gentle kiss, without the mad passion they both had felt a few hours ago. Now they both knew that they had found each other that they would be together no matter what the future held.
“We will go into battle together, I cannot let you go alone. If you do not grant me horses I will walk all the way to Gondor.” He was not even trying to talk her out of her plan; it would be useless anyway. Her hand reached up to caress his cheek. “I will tell Éomer that I was mistaken, it will console my heart to know that you shall be with me.” She pulled his head down to share yet another kiss with him. When their lips parted she looked at him in doubt. “What did you say just now? I mean, you said something in Elvish didn’t you?”
He chuckled, all the fear he had felt, all the pain was gone. “I said ‘my love’ that is meleth nín. And my sun-maiden ... nín anoriel. Though right now you are more of a rain cloud that a sun...” Her fist hit his stomach. “A cloud am I?” Before she could hit again he caught her sweet hand in his, pulling it up to his lips, kissing it. Carefully she voiced the same words he had just used, “Meleth nín...” Her eyes were still clouded with a veil of tears.
Never before had anyone called him thus. And he knew deep in his heart that no one else could have said it the way Éowyn did. She only spoke aloud what her heart felt. “Let me stay with you, my love. Do not send me away.” She drew away a bit, taking in all of his elvish beauty. His skin gleaming, the only source of light in the dark room. His silver hair falling over his shoulders, he was like the moon, familiar and yet mysterious. “My lord of night and silver. I love you.” Slowly she turned around and pulled him back to the bed.
~*~*~*~
Chapter 10 – A New Day
Notes: For all those who have not read the books ... Elfhelm is one of the Marshals of the Riddermark, an éored is a small host of riders, like a battalion or something of the like :)
Translation of Elvish: Nín anoriel – my sun-maiden. Meleth nín – my love. Namarie – farewell. Elanor – star-sun ... a flower of Lórien with both golden and silver blossoms.
When Éowyn woke, she was lying in Haldir’s arms. She could hear movement outside the door; the day had begun. Her mind still had difficulties taking in what had happened that night. Finally she had understood the ways of her own heart, had given in to her utmost desire. She had given up the fight; it was useless anyway. It was as Haldir had said; they were destined for each other. Slowly raising her head she looked into the elf’s deep blue eyes. What she saw in them filled her heart with joy, even more so his words, “Nín anoriel, meleth nín.” She smiled and kissed his lips softly.
“Haldir, so it wasn’t a dream. It’s real. You are really here.” His fingers trailed her cheek up to the tip of her ear. “My life,” he said with a heavy voice, “I love you,” pulling her closer to him, kissing first her forehead, her cheeks and finally her lips. Éowyn gave herself up into that kiss. How long would it be until she could be so close to him again? Her tongue trailed his inner lips and finally found his. She moaned softly, longing for the kiss to continue forever.
But soon lack of air forced her to break the kiss. Then she remembered what day it was, today the troops would leave for Minas Tirith. “I will tell my brother that I was mistaken after all. You will get your horses,” she said with a sad smile. “How will I know you?” Haldir inquired, remembering the armour that was still hidden in the chest beside Éowyn’s bed. “I will call myself Dernhelm, I shall ride in Elfhelm’s éored for he doesn’t know me as well as the other Marshals.”
Haldir’s eyes were full of love when he said, “Then it is Elfhelm’s éored that the elves of Lórien and Imladris shall ride with. How will I be able to keep my hands of you, nín anoriel?” There was teasing in her voice when she responded, “If you can’t, Dernhelm shall cut your hands off you my dearest elf.” She covered his lips with her fingers before he could reply. “But Éowyn will yearn for your touch, for your closeness. There might be a chance still that we can be alone. The way to Gondor is long, we will rest at night ... I can’t even bear to think that I shall not be this close to you for days to come.”
And suddenly this light shone again in her eyes, the light that Haldir had first seen the night Éowyn had broken down in front of him. It filled her eyes, her face, her beautiful smile. “Haldir, meleth nín, I ... I love you. How could I think that Aragorn...” His lips were upon hers again. The mentioning of the ranger’s name had been like a dagger stabbing him into his heart. Jealousy, that was something he had never experienced until now. But it made him feel sick to think of Éowyn’s hurt look when he first saw her, back at Helm’s Deep, when Aragorn embraced him.
He kissed her passionately, but she also felt a bit of panic in him. He drew her as close to him as possible, as if his live depended upon it. And then she understood. She had mentioned Aragorn and that had caused this. He was jealous. Slowly she pushed away, “Haldir, don’t fear him. He’s meant to be with another. I don’t even understand myself anymore. All I see is you, my love.” With a sigh she added, “And yet I have to leave you now, or our plan will not become reality after all.”
Reluctantly he let go of her. It filled him with grief to watch her dress and finally, after kissing his forehead one last time, she left the room. Haldir stood up and slowly picked up his discarded cloths. Why had he reacted this way to the mentioning of Aragorn’s name? He knew that even before Éowyn had given in to her feelings for him, she had come to accept that her dreams of Aragorn where a waste of time. And he also knew the ranger. He would never forsake Legolas, not even for a woman like Éowyn. He might desire her, but he loved the Prince of Mirkwood, nothing could ever change that. He remembered his terror at hearing Éowyn say that all had been a mistake. That must have been it, the mere thought of loosing her was too hard for him to bear.
‘You must stay with me, nín anoriel. There has to be a way.’ And suddenly a voice answered him, the voice of the Lady of the Golden Wood. Her soft voice was inside his head, comforting his troubled mind. ‘At last you found your destiny, I was worried that you might be too blind to see.’ She chuckled softly. ‘You knew?’ Haldir inquired, feeling deep down inside of him that it was stupid to even ask the question, of course she knew. Apparently even Legolas had seen it, only he, Haldir, had been unable to see Éowyn for what she was, his life, his love.
‘Aye, I knew. For centuries. I saw you fall to the orcs weapons; I thought it would be your end. But then I saw a small hand, touching your face. I saw golden hair, and I heard you call her “nín anoriel”. Still, I also saw that she was mortal ... Do not despair, there might be a way for you to be together, though you cannot see it as yet.’ A way? But there could not be any way, or could there be one? What of Beren and Lúthien? No, it was impossible.
‘I also perceive what you are about to do. Do you really think it wise to ride into yet another battle? You were badly wounded, but I can see that you will listen to no voice of reason. And that is good dearest Haldir. At long last you listen to a voice that is not your pride, but your heart. Only your brothers will not understand ... Blessings be with you, namarie.’ With that she was gone, but Haldir’s heart was filled with joy and he was prepared to face whatever was to come.
~*~*~*~
Éowyn had found her brother busy with last-minute preparations for the journey to Gondor. “Éowyn, sister. I was hoping to see you before I leave.” She smiled and embraced him. “Take care beloved brother, come back to me.” She kissed his cheek and then released him. “I’ve come to tell you that I was mistaken. I know, I know, that’s not a thing that you hear very often...” she added, seeing her brother’s face cloud with doubt. “I’m speaking of the elves. I think you should give them horses. If they indeed desire to go into this battle with us, well, with you, we shouldn’t stand in their way. Put them into Elfhelm’s éored. I have heard that it will be one of the last to go into open battle.”
Éomer stared at his sister, not only had she admitted to having been wrong about something. Obviously she had also overheard the planning for the battle. But he had no time to think about it very long, and even if the elves were small in number now, they were skilled archers and swordsmen. “I will see it done, sister dear. The King would like a word with you as well, farewell Éowyn.” He took her head into his palms and kissed her forehead. “Until we meet again.”
~*~*~*~
When Éowyn returned to her chamber, Haldir was gone. But on her bed lay a dried flower, a flower she had never seen before. It was still shining golden, like a small sun and when she raised it to her nose she could still smell the wonderful scent. An elven flower, Haldir must have brought it with him from Lórien, as a token of the land he loved, the land that he called his home. He had left it here, with her. She couldn’t breathe when she finally grasped the full meaning of this. She was his home now, no matter where she was, he would be there as well. She sank to her knees sobbing, the flower pressed to her heart. “Haldir, meleth nín.”
Half an hour later Éowyn was no more. Instead of her a young warrior made his way towards the troops that were ready to set out. The elves had been given horses, good. The warrior turned towards one of the older soldiers, addressing him, “Hail Elfhelm, Marshal of the Mark. Dernhelm is my name, I have been told that I should ride with your éored.” The Marshal studied the one before him. “Very well, get yourself a horse, and be quick.”
Éowyn’s heart was hammering in her chest when she turned towards the stables. A small person was standing close to the entrance, the hobbit the King had brought with him from Isengard. Meriadoc was his name. He looked forlorn. “Master Halfling, you wish to ride into battle as well?” Merry only nodded, not looking at the soldier before him. “The come, you shall ride with me. In this war every race should be represented.”
Before she mounted her stead she walked over to the elves and bowed before Haldir. “My Lord, the Lady Éowyn sends word,” Haldir’s heart missed a beat. How could this work? Why did not everyone see her for what she was? Quickly he drew her aside. “You found the flower? It’s elanor, star-sun ... I kept it close to my heart since we left home. But now I have another sun with me. Though right now you look a bit...” He stopped, Éowyn’s eyes glancing at him warningly. “Nín anoriel, meleth nín. We shall be together, no matter what happens.” She smiled at him, forcing herself not to throw her arms around the beloved elf, “Even if death is waiting for us at the end of this march, at least we will face it together.”
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