Title & Chapter Number: An Unexpected Love 5-6/26
Author(s): - Author's Index
Website: Éowyn's Musings
Fandom: Middle Earth
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: All characters are J.R.R. Tolkien's, well; I'm playing with their feelings a bit :) I'm not writing to make any profit but for writing's sake, and because I love the world of Middle-Earth.
Warnings: Angst (I guess).
Betas: Undomiel ... you're a gem :)
Cast: Haldir/Éowyn
Timeline: TTT Movieverse AU
Spoilers: Some for Books & Movies
Summary: After loosing Aragorn to Legolas a broken and angry Éowyn finds love where she least expected it...
Notes: Haldir did not die at Helm's Deep, or did you see a grave? Basically I'm following the books and the movies. However I made some "slight" alterations :) Aragorn isn't in love with Arwen but with Legolas and they are already bound. Also, Éomer wasn't exiled but went to Helm's Deep with the rest of Théoden's army.
Chapter 5 – Grievous Parting
With Haldir surrounded by his people, Éowyn left the Hall. The darkness was getting even deeper; she had to fight to remain on her feet. Down by the gate she could see shadows moving, only one person did she really see, Legolas. His elven skin shone in the dark, just like Haldir’s. It seemed as if he was preparing to leave. She ran towards him, almost stumbling down the steps in front of Meduseld. Slowly the shadows turned to men, some that she knew, some that she didn’t.
She had heard from one elf that a small host of rangers had arrived, seeking for Aragorn. ‘It must be them,’ she thought. Legolas saw her first and bowed to her. Aragorn and Gimli following suit as well as some of the other men. “What is the meaning of this?” Then she remembered the conversation she had had with her brother, back at Helm’s Deep, only just yesterday. Fear in her voice she turned to Aragorn, “You can’t seriously consider taking that road. It’s folly! No one’s ever returned from that path. Why seek certain death while you and your sword are sorely needed here. You won’t be able to help us as a ghost.” With a pleading look she added, “Please, don’t forsake those that need you.”
She had accepted the reality, but still her heart was aching for him. Legolas took one of her hands and led her away from the others, Aragorn following them in silence. “This is the road that is intended for him, he is no mere ranger, Éowyn...” Legolas caught his lover’s eye, Aragorn only nodded. “He is the heir of Isildur.” Éowyn’s eyes widened, disbelieve in them. The heir of Isildur? But that would mean that he was the lawful king of Gondor. “This cannot be,” she finally said while shaking her head. “It is, fair Lady of Rohan, I have fought my destiny, but at long last I gave up the fight. This is my future, if I should survive the path that is before me.”
She could hardly take all of the news in. No mere ranger, heir to the throne of Gondor. And bound to an elf. What would his people make of that? Was there a chance for her yet? ‘Only one to have his body,’ she thought, ‘to give him an heir. But never his heart.’ Only now did she fully understand it. Had she thrown herself at him, he wouldn’t have fought her off, not necessarily at least. But it would only have been a small piece of him; his heart belonged to another. Not even the love she felt in her heart could ever make her sink this low. No, she would keep him in her heart forever, and then die alone. Legolas had been mistaken, there was no place for a new love in her life, and there never would be.
When she raised her gaze again, it locked with Legolas’. Apparently he had read her mind because he said, “Your heart is greater than you think, I have told you that I see love in your future, and it is coming ever closer. A love as great as the one...” Éowyn finished for him as she could see the unease in his eyes, “...you share with Aragorn. I wish I could believe that. But my heart only feels sore right now. Forgive me, I did not mean...” Legolas smiled and squeezed her hand. “Next time we meet you will be with him.” Did he know who it would be? Why didn’t he tell her?
Legolas just smiled and raised her hand to his lips. “Until we meet again fair Éowyn.” With that he turned and walked back to the horses. She was alone with Aragorn, with the man she wanted so badly, but now was no longer willing to give herself to. “Legolas is right, I can see it as well.” His hand reached out to stroke her cheek, “It’s clearly written in your eyes. Love, but not the love for me. It will light a fire in you; you will gleam like the sun from within. Just wait and see.” Then he took her into his arms, a friendly gesture, but she was not prepared for it as yet. Her body tensed against his and he released her. “Forgive me,” he muttered.
She stared at him, “King of Gondor? I still find it hard to believe that. I only wish you could claim your heritage in a less dangerous manner. Your people need you, return to them.” She bowed to him, “Rohan will be glad to have you as an ally.” There she was again, the proud Shield-maiden, speaking not for herself but her people, those who loved her and who she loved. With a last glance at Legolas she turned and went back up to the Golden Hall. Her brother was passing her and saw her face, set and still filled with a sadness that made his heart almost stop. Something had been taken from her; it would never be restored.
~*~*~*~
Haldir had also heard that the Dúnedain had arrived and that Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli were setting out with them. Setting out on a road that even he would not have taken voluntarily. Éowyn had been seen talking to the ranger and the elf, what had passed between them?
He was alone again; his comrades had retired to their own chambers once he had convinced them that he was indeed on the way of recovery. Against his will his thoughts returned to Éowyn, how she had smiled at him, the gleam in her eyes. His shock when she had collapsed. The feeling when her hand had touched his cheek, seeing her lost cousin in him. The warmth of her body when he held her shoulders. Finally he knew who she really was, seeing her so weak before him had reached his heart. Suddenly he felt compassion for her, and something else he could not name yet.
He found himself waiting for her return, longing to see her face again, hear her voice. What was going on? Never before had anyone caused him to feel this way, this was folly, stupid. She was a mortal, only a girl, no one worthy of the affections of him, Chief Guardian of Lórien, a First-Born, immortal. He forced himself to think of something else. His brothers, Rúmil and Orophin, how glad would they be to see him again. He smiled to himself. They would be together again, in the Golden Wood, as they had been for centuries. This little girl would not be able to interfere there. Éowyn again, he cursed himself.
Soon they would leave Arda, passing over to Valinor, the Undying Lands. She would remain here, and she would die. He had never been able to understand Legolas, binding his soul to one of these fragile humans. They were weak, their bodies only made for a short time. Aragorn’s death would surely mean the end for the beautiful Elven Prince of Mirkwood. But still, there was one thing that Haldir envied Legolas for. He had at least found love; even after millennias Haldir had never felt the need of being with someone other than his family. He had had lovers, but none of these elf maidens had been able to touch his heart. And now he felt it beat for this mortal woman.
No matter, he would not give in to this sudden madness. It would pass, of course it would. After a few centuries he would not even be able to recall her name. Or the face that had just re-appeared in the doorframe. She looked tired; something was missing in her eyes. “They are gone,” he stated. She only nodded. Softly she closed the door behind her and walked over to the window. “They are, I’ve been a fool all along. You were right, I never stood a chance.” Sadness, but no tears in her voice. “Legolas spoke of my future, claimed that he saw love in it. A new love, a stronger love...” she stopped abruptly as if she only now realised who she was talking to.
She turned to face him, “Forgive me.” He could see that she was trying hard to find another subject she could bring up. “How do you feel? Would you like something to eat?” Eyes almost pleading. “No, I already had something.” ‘I am not going to make it this easy for you.’ She swallowed hard, “You must be tired, try to rest for a while. The night is surrounding us. I fear that there won’t be a dawn tomorrow.” He could see that the darkness was affecting her. He had to force himself to think strait as well. Maybe it was Sauron’s making, this sudden longing for the woman before him?
“I will be back at dawn, or at the hour of dawn. We still have to bathe you,” she added with a smile. The she was out of the door again. He stared at it for a long time. No, he did not long for her; he loathed her.
~*~*~*~
Chapter 6 – Growing Attraction
Haldir’s head was spinning; he saw a great battle before him, proud warriors falling to the cruel weapons of orcs. Poisoned arrows filled the air, and he was in the midst of it. It was not Helm’s Deep; there were no ruins about him. It was a plain, a white tower rising against a mountain. He had seen the tower, but could not remember where. He heard a cry of terror on the air, a Nazgûl. But instead of turning away from the loathed creature he rode towards it. Why? And then he saw something that made his blood freeze...
Someone called his name, he could not hold on to the vision. Eyes looking down at him, blue eyes, her eyes. For a second he had not known were he was, but now he saw her, Éowyn. Once again she leaned over him, gazing down at him. “Haldir, yet another nightmare ... everything’s fine.” Unable to resist the urge he raised his hand and touched her face. It was only her moving away that stopped him from pulling her down to him.
Slowly his senses came back to him, why would he want to kiss her? She was nothing to him. But then he remembered what had happened the previous day, and still he told himself that it was impossible. That it was nothing more than gratefulness, yes; after all she had saved his life. He only admitted that to himself, and even that was hard.
“There was no dawn, I fear that we may never see the sun again,” her voice was strong, but also filled with grief. “We will light candles, remember, you are to take a bath.” A smile formed on her face, teasing him. There was nothing to be loved about her. She was cold and arrogant and proud. He did not admit that he shared these qualities, would not, could not.
“I will have to take the bandages off your wounds, I don’t think you will need them anymore anyway.” Her hands upon his skin again, burning on him. What was happening to him? Why could she touch his soul like this? He was weak he reasoned, too weak to withstand her. It would pass once he had regained his strength. Once she had finished, Éowyn opened the door and called to someone outside.
A bathtub was carried into the room, servants following with bowls of hot water. Two elves also entered, they were to help Haldir get up. To him it was unbearable. All these people, only here because of his weakness, and Éowyn even took delight in it. This mocking smile that was still on her face, her gleaming eyes fixed upon him. The servants bowed to their lady and left. She now nodded to the elves that now approached the bed. Éowyn herself took a few steps towards the window, staring in the darkness outside, unwilling to turn around.
Haldir almost shouted at his comrades, the humiliation of having to lean on to them was too great. Slowly they led him to the tub and helped him climb into it. The warmth was embracing him. He leaned back his head to give in to the sensation. Éowyn bowed to the elves. “Call for us when you need help,” one of them said in the Common Tongue on his way out of the room.
They were alone. Reluctantly Éowyn turned around to face the elf. He had his eyes closed, his head leaning backwards. His marble chest was exposed to her gaze; only her strong will prevented her from reaching out to touch it. Instead she said, “Would you please lean forward so that I can wash your back, I will leave the rest to you.” She could feel herself blush and turned around to hide it from him.
With a sigh Haldir opened his eyes again and leaned forward. He could see that she tried hard not to look at him, was he so repulsive to her? Or rather too appealing to her eyes. He chuckled softly to himself. No matter what she had told him, this was no sight she was exposed to usually. He felt her fingers close around his long hair, holding it up while the other hand was washing him. The cloth she used was soft, almost as soft as her skin.
She tried to avoid touching him directly, too great was the need to do so. She wouldn’t give in to it. Not with him, not after his friend had broken her heart. As much as she longed for someone to comfort her troubled soul, she wouldn’t allow him to be the one. The wounds he had only taken two days ago were already scars, had she not known their origin she might have thought that they were from a battle a long time ago. He didn’t flinch when she touched them, the last sign that he was indeed recovering.
Too soon did she hand the cloth to him; too soon did her hands leave his skin. He almost gripped her wrist and pulled her into his arms. For a fleeting moment did their eyes meet and he thought he could see the same need in them, the need he felt right now. Only then did he remember why she had awoken compassion in his heart. She was in love with another. Anything between them would be nothing to her, and even if his pride was unable to accept it, he knew that he would not be able to forget her if he had been so close to her. He would be no substitute, especially not for Aragorn who would be the downfall of Legolas. His body was aching to feel her, feel her hands upon him again. But his mind was controlling him once more.
She had felt it too, had wanted to let her fingers glide over his muscular body, feel his silken hair against her cheek. But she wasn’t going to give into her physical needs. She turned away from the elf; “I think you can manage without me now. I will call back your friends.” Without a further look she left the room, her heart beating fast in her chest, her body craving for the touch of the elf.
~*~*~*~
Her brother had found her, sitting in the darkness outside of Meduseld. Her breath was still heavy, and when he sat down beside her, putting an arm around her shoulder she broke down. Tears were welling from her eyes; she flung her arms about Éomer’s neck seeking to feel the comforting warmth of his body. He held her tightly, stroking her hair and whispering to her soft words to soothe her. He didn’t know what had brought her to the edge, but he thanked his ancestors that he was here with her now. It was good that Aragorn was gone; maybe her heart would find rest with the reason for her agony gone.
For how long they sat thus he did not know, but finally Éowyn’s sobs stopped and her regular breathing told him that she fallen asleep. ‘Yes, dearest sister, rest. You will need your strength before the end, no matter what it will be. Forget about him, think of those that love you, your family.’ He kissed her brow, then lifted her up and carried her to her own chamber. There she lay, lost in her dreams. She saw him, his silken skin wet under her fingers, and in her dreams nothing held her back from sinking into his arms.
She woke with a start, her arms wrapped around her. Remembering clearly her dreams of the elf only a few doors away. He was poison for her, consuming her thoughts and now her dreams also. She would hide from him; he needed no healer anymore, only rest. And rest he would, without her.
~*~*~*~
That night a messenger arrived to inform Éomer and his sister of the return of the King. He would gather all his troops around him in a great muster, then set out for Gondor, which was now under war. It was clear that Éowyn would be left behind again. Only this time she would not allow it. An idea formed in her head, and silently she went to the armoury. Life had nothing to offer her anymore; maybe she would at least find an honourable death on the battlefield.
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