Title & Chapter Number: An Unexpected Love 3-4/26
Author(s): - Author's Index
Website: Éowyn's Musings
Fandom: Middle Earth
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: All characters are J.R.R. Tolkien's, well; I'm playing with their feelings a bit :) I'm not writing to make any profit but for writing's sake, and because I love the world of Middle-Earth.
Warnings: Angst (I guess).
Betas: Undomiel ... you're a gem :)
Cast: Haldir/Éowyn
Timeline: TTT Movieverse AU
Spoilers: Some for Books & Movies
Summary: After loosing Aragorn to Legolas a broken and angry Éowyn finds love where she least expected it...
Notes: Haldir did not die at Helm's Deep, or did you see a grave? Basically I'm following the books and the movies. However I made some "slight" alterations :) Aragorn isn't in love with Arwen but with Legolas and they are already bound. Also, Éomer wasn't exiled but went to Helm's Deep with the rest of Théoden's army.
Chapter 3 - Hope and Despair
Éowyn was woken by the sound of hooves. Darkness was around her; the candle had gone out hours ago. A soft light came from the skin of the wounded elf, but outside it was still dark. She raised herself from her chair, moving quietly. She peered out of the tent, the shadows of riders passing her. Those who were to go to Isengard were leaving. She could barely see the faces of those that passed her, but she knew that she was too late to bid her uncle farewell. She sighed. When would she see them again?
The night air was chilling her and she returned to the warmth of the tent. Haldir was moving, his breathing was no longer regular but had turned to shallow hissing. His eyes were still distant, but now they were filled with pain and fear. Another nightmare. She reached out to touch his shoulder, to wake him. The soft skin was warm under her fingers, filled with life. Not as cold as Theódred's had been. She dismissed the thought. It was doing her no good, she knew. He wouldn't return, ever.
Suddenly he rolled on to his back, his hand closing around her wrist. She gasped, both with pain and surprise. Trying to wriggle out of his grasp just made him tighten the grip. "Wake up," she cried, "and let go of me." He was hurting her now, but slowly consciousness seeped back into his eyes. He stared at her, only gradually easing his grip. She was panting, her nostrils flaring. But her eyes, her eyes were worried, for the first time he saw something other than hatred in them. Then it hit him; she pitied him! The poor wounded elf that was haunted by nightmares. But these nightmares were nothing compared to her eyes. What did she see in him? Someone weak apparently. He let go of her hand, his eyes flaring.
She was shocked, but still she said with in soft voice, "You should go back to sleep ... you will need your strength..." He cut her short, "Do not tell me what I need. And don't look at me this way; do not pretend that you are actually concerned about me. I know you are not! To you I'm just an annoyance, am I right? And you like to see me in this state, weak and dependant upon you. What kind of person are you? You took a wound at Helm's Deep, but maybe you deserved it."
She couldn't take his words in. She had intended to apologize for her harsh behaviour towards him, but now ... He knew, of course he did, about Aragorn and Legolas. And he also discovered her feelings it seemed. What right did he have to throw that at her, to use it against her? What a vicious creature must he be? "How dare you," she snapped. "If it wasn't for me you'd be dead by now. And right now I wish I had not stumbled upon you." She turned and ran out of the tent, tears burning in her eyes.
~*~*~*~
The rage was gone as quickly as it had come. He lay with his eyes closed, condemning himself. Maybe he had been mistaken and she had really felt compassion for him. But no more. He had seen something break in her eyes, something disappear from them, leaving nothing but coldness. He had found the one thing that could hurt her beyond anything, and he had used it against her. Had used her love against her. Vicious she had called him, yes; it had been a vicious deed. No matter what she had done to him, what she had said, she had not deserved this. Why had he been spared at Helm’s Deep? He rolled onto his side, ignoring the pain that built up in it. Staring at the chair she had sat in. Empty now, as empty as her eyes. And all that his making.
He heard his voice before he saw the other elf, “What have you done to her?” Haldir turned over again and faced the Prince of Mirkwood. Legolas’ features were troubled, his eyes questioning. “She passed me outside, running as if the Nine were after her. Terror in her eyes, and tears,” he continued. “I had no right, but I hate to be in this state, I must have hurt her, deep down inside. I mentioned you...” The eyes of the other widened. “You must have realized before now how she feels about Aragorn, and still you...” Legolas could not believe it. It was true, Haldir was not the most compassionate elf, not by far, but this was unworthy, even for him. Of course he hated to be so weak, everyone would, and to be dependant upon others was hard for him, the proud Chief Guardian of the Golden Wood. But if anyone had the right to confront Éowyn with her feelings it was he, Legolas. Yet he felt nothing but compassion for her, and a longing to help her. Haldir on the other hand should be grateful to the Lady of the Rohirrim.
“You had no right,” he finally stated. “Pray that this is not the end of her, that you have not unmade all that was alive in her.” Haldir had never seen Legolas look this stern. He turned around and left the Lórien elf without a further word, leaving him alone in the dark again.
~*~*~*~
Éowyn was riding beside her brother. Since the elf’s outburst she had not returned to him. Another healer was taking care of him now. Legolas had tried to speak to her, but she had refused to see him. She knew he had seen her in the night, running through the darkness with tears streaming from her eyes. Haldir had broken down her defences, had found the one weapon which could hurt her more that any sword or arrow ever could. What could Legolas want from her? Apologize for the other elf’s behaviour? Possible. But he was not responsible for the deeds of Haldir. And right now she could not endure the presence of any elf.
The air around them was heavy, as if a storm was coming. And yet she felt free again, she could see the sky and the clouds and the sun. Her brother reached a hand to his sister that she took, gripping it tight. “Tonight we will be at Edoras again. There all the wounded will be taken care of. But you can rest for a while. I can see that you haven’t been sleeping very well last night.” What had betrayed her? Her face had been pale, yes, but that was not new for her. Only then she remembered that she was talking to her brother who knew her through and through. She smiled, “Do I look as if I need rest?” His soft chuckle was warming her heart.
Edoras, home. Only two nights ago she had been sure she’d never see the Golden Hall again. But now, as they approached the capital of the Riddermark, new hope was seeping into her heart. Hope that almost made her forget her grief, and the hurt she had felt only a few hours ago caused by Haldir’s words. For the time being they were safe and so she looked over to her brother, raising an eyebrow. He smiled and nodded. The old game between them. Then she urged her horse on, followed by Éomer. But as always she was the first to reach the city gates. As a child she had believed her brother to do this on purpose, that he let her win. But soon she found that she was simply lighter than he, and thus her horse could fly over the grass of Rohan faster than his.
She smiled warmly at him, watching him dismount, raising his hands to lift her off her steed. “I can still beat you at some things,” she grinned. “They are coming now,” she continued with a nod towards the rest of the riders that were now entering the city. She let go of her brother and walked over to Legolas who was just jumping off his horse. “Forgive me for avoiding you earlier, but...” – “...but you could not take yet another elf speaking to you. I understand that. He had no right, and knows that, too.” She bowed her head, “Then why did he say it?” Legolas sighed, “He is a warrior, unaccustomed to being bound to the bed. He hates to be so weak and helpless. Unfortunately he has a unique way of uttering his dismay. I am truly sorry that you were the one around him in that moment.”
“My Lord, you don’t have to apologize for him. I should apologize to you. I have no right to love...” – “Éowyn, we cannot choose whom we love, and I can understand your feelings for Aragorn,” a smile brightened the eyes of the elven prince. “You will find the one who is meant for you, I can see it clearly in your eyes. You will love, and this love will be greater that the one you feel for Aragorn.” He saw his eyes fill with sadness. “Believe me fair Éowyn, you will find the one, even though you now think you will never love again, you will. And you will find this love very soon, in someone you would least expect it.” The knowing eyes of the elf were warming her heart. Maybe he was right; maybe she would love again. But soon? No, that was impossible.
~*~*~*~
Chapter 4 – Lost in the Dark
The light of the day was slowly fading away. Dark clouds from the east filled the sky; there would be no stars that night. An air of unease was upon them; especially the elves were affected by it. Those who had survived the battle stood outside the room Haldir had been taken to. Softly they spoke among each other; the elvish tongue was like a murmur to Éowyn, like a warm summer rain. So beautiful and sad the words seemed. When she reached the door some bowed to her, she smiled back, encouragingly. “He’s much better, don’t worry.”
Silently she opened the door and entered the room. The elf was lying on sleeping furs now; on the same bed her cousin had lain when he was drawing his last breath. But this one wasn’t Theódred; no, he was different, completely. And he would live. She straitened herself while taking a few steps towards the wounded. The memory of the previous night came back with full force, but now she knew how to handle him. The day had given her new strength, and she had finally accepted. Yet still the love for the ranger could not be undone so easily. It still tormented her soul to think of him. She brushed the thought aside. She would need all her strength now, once again alone with the elf.
Haldir had heard her enter, but he had not turned around to face her. Legolas’ words were still echoing in his mind, ‘You had no right.’ Had he really gone too far with her? It could not be. She was as cold as ice; nothing could reach her heart. Nothing? Aragorn had. And she had lost him, nay; he had never belonged to her. But she had hoped. And last night Haldir had used this, used this as his weapon. ‘But it had been her fault,’ he kept telling himself. ‘She was not sincere, she wishes for my death.’ And yet, the pain in her eyes when she turned away from him. That had been real, real sorrow, created by him.
His back was turned to her. ‘Even better,’ she thought. “I hear that you slept most of the day. I’m here to once again change your bandages. Unless you wish for another healer to do this. You no longer have to bear my presence. There are others...” She was stopped when he turned over. His breath heavy, eyes fixed upon her. “No, I do not wish for another healer.” His voice little more than a soft whisper. Was there an apology in it? She nodded. “As you wish.”
She gasped in surprise when she had removed the bandage upon the elf’s back. The wound was already barely more than a scar. “What is that with you elves? You heal much faster than we do.” He smiled to himself, “Do not forget that we are the First-Born.” There it was again, his arrogance. For a moment she had forgotten about it. “Then what do you need healers for,” she countered; her skilled hands putting some powdered herbs on the wound. “Who said we do?” he challenged her. “Without a healer you for one would have bled to death.” She didn’t say ‘without me’ but thought it.
The wounds again covered with bandages, she turned to the window. Darkness crept into the room, causing for Haldir’s elven skin to shimmer. His long hair gleamed silver. He was beautiful, as long as he didn’t open his mouth. For the first time since she had laid eyes on Aragorn when he had arrived at Edoras with his companions, a genuine smile formed on her lips.
Haldir looked at her, puzzled. She smiled, but this time it reached her eyes. A light started to glow in them, a light that touched his soul. Her words were daggers, but this smile was only warmth. For a fleeting moment he longed to reach out for her, touch her face. But then she spoke again. “I think we should bathe you tomorrow. Your body must be weary from the battle and the journey here. And your wounds are no obstacle anymore.”
‘We should bathe you?’ Was he not able to do that himself? Now he saw something new in her smile, mockery. Bathe him, how weak did she think him? “I think I can manage that on my own,” he spat. “I am no child after all.” – “I should like to see you try, master elf. Even though your wounds heal fast, strength has not yet returned to you. You will be dependant on the help of others for some time yet.” And with yet another smile she added, “Of course if you’re ashamed of bathing in front of me I can ask one of your comrades to assist you.” A new tone in her voice, teasing him. If she had been near him he would have throttled her. As it was he could only growl, “Maybe it is you that is ashamed?”
For a moment she considered, then said with a chuckle. “Don’t flatter yourself, elf. You have nothing I haven’t seen before. Except perhaps an exceptionally big ego.” She bit her lips; this could lead nowhere good.
Quickly she turned to the window, looking out. The clouds had now taken every small piece of sky, but they were no normal clouds. They were too dark, too thick. The air seemed to get heavy, fear creeping into the proud heart of the Shield-maiden of the Rohirrim. “This darkness, it’s not normal.” Haldir felt it too; a dread was growing upon his mind. “Sauron, it is his doing. The Dark has started, in will not be long now until he reaches out one last time to destroy those, who still oppose him. This darkness is to fill his enemies with fear. Fight it!”
She barely heard his voice. Before her eyes she saw images of things that had been, shadows of her own past. The day her uncle had come to her brother and her telling them that their parents were no more. She saw Éomer carrying the limp body of Theódred. And she saw Aragorn, holding the hands of Legolas. Tears were filling her eyes, and she collapsed on to the ground, weeping.
Now he saw her, saw her for what she really was. This coldness about her was nothing more than a wall she had built around herself, to protect her from others. ‘Others like me,’ he thought. But inside she was nothing more than a frightened child. “Éowyn,” he called her softly. “Proud Lady of Rohan, raise yourself, do not let yourself be consumed by your grief, be strong for those that need you.” And with a deep sigh, “Be strong for me.”
But she didn’t hear him. As if in a dream she stood again, and slowly walked over to Haldir’s bed. She reached out for his face, stroking it softly. “Theódred,” she whispered, “beloved cousin. Stay with me, don’t go, don’t leave me alone in the dark.” Her eyes were clouded, tears still streaming from them. Haldir took her by her shoulders, shaking her while saying her name again and again. Slowly her eyes cleared again, and she withdrew her hand from the elf’s cheek. “Forgive me,” she said with an almost breaking voice.
“It is his power, fight it. Do not allow him to confuse your mind. You must be strong, you can be strong, I know it.” His voice was soft, soothing. His eyes looking up at her worry in them. He was worried about her. Maybe he was not the monster she had thought him to be after their last encounter, after the incident in the tent last night. Slowly she raised herself again, his arms gliding from her shoulders, reluctant to let her go.
“Those elves who survived as well, they are crowding beyond that door. Would you like to see them now?” She had to fight to make her voice stable. Trying to be stronger, trying to fight the shadow that was upon her. He nodded. “Very well, I’ll return later if you wish me to.” Another nod. Slowly she turned and left him.
His thoughts were still with her when he was surrounded by his kin, the few who had survived the terrible battle of Helm’s Deep. Yet the war had not even begun. He heard the sound of elven voices, but his inner eye still saw her, falling to the ground, so lost; lost in the dark.
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