Title & Chapter Number: Ohtarnil: A Warrior-Love 8/9
Author(s): - Author's Index
Fandom: LOTR
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction. The characters, settings, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to this author. No money made, no harm intended. The work is the intellectual property of the author. First posted: November, 2002
Warnings: For you slash purists, there is some het fic. Just keep reading.
Betas: Caz
Cast: Legolas/Aragorn, Legolas/OCs, Haldir, Rumil. Other members of the Fellowship
Timeline: Third Age, Fellowship of the Ring.
Spoilers: None
Summary: In the woods of Lothlórien, Aragorn and Legolas become attracted to one another. But Aragorn cannot betray Arwen and Legolas still mourns the loss of a previous lover. A trip to the wood's borders to hunt orcs and a magical encounter with a stag changes their relationship.
Notes: This is part of a story arc that includes Dragon Fever. Although this one was written first, they can be read in any order. This story occurs after the events at Esgaroth in Dragon Fever, but before the first and last chapter involving Legolas and Aragorn. Feedback appreciated.
Chapter 8 - Elwen
Legolas was silent for a while as he continued shaving Aragorn's beard. Finally he said, "Elwen was a member of Elrond's household. He was tall, stunningly beautiful, with a great sense of humor. He was a musician and could play the fiddle better than anyone alive, as well as sing and write poetry." Legolas paused and then said with a smile, "Valar's wisdom, he had a talented mouth, for more than just singing. He could suck you dry in a matter of minutes."
"Careful," Aragorn joked, "I may become jealous."
"It makes no sense to be jealous of what was," Legolas said seriously. He sighed again. "I remember the day I met him, as clearly as if it were today. It was early summer. He had come with a party from Imladris to visit my father, Thranduil, in Mirkwood. At the time our whole household was involved in games. I was in the archery competition. After the contest was over . . ."
"Which you won," suggested Aragorn.
"Which I won, yes, this tall elf came up to me. He offered me his hand in congratulation, and as I took it, I noticed he trembled. I looked into his eyes, lovely iris-colored eyes, and sensed a delicate, poetic soul. I felt his infatuation with me. As I said, he was beautiful: a pale, angular face; dark, arched brows; long, straight black hair, like a raven's back. I guess I fell for him as he had for me. But it took almost an entire summer for me to admit it to myself. Then he accompanied me on a trip to Esgaroth. That first evening he told me of his affection and I realized I felt it too. That was our first time together. An encounter that, unfortunately, did not go unnoticed." Legolas smiled. "And eventually the entire household knew of it. My father did not look kindly on the liaison."
"Elwen returned to Imladris at the end of the summer. It was dreadful parting from him and we were separated for an agonizing two years. My father finally relented and allowed me to visit Imladris. That was the first summer I met you, and when, apparently, you saw Elwen and me in a rather intimate moment." Legolas dipped the knife in the water with a soft swish and then wiped it dry on the blanket. "I think you're done here," he said.
Aragorn reached up and ran his fingers along his chin. "Nice job," he said, "and to think I only lost one ear in the process."
"I can take the other one off, so you'll be even," Legolas joked.
"You haven't told me yet what happened," Aragorn persisted.
"Aragorn, this is hard for me. Hmm. We had been together eighteen years, a blink of an eye to an elf. My father had summoned me home several times, but I'd paid no attention, and was happily living at Imladris, and working for Elrond. You'll remember that, as you were there sometimes in between your travels."
"Yes, I do remember seeing you there a few times," said Aragorn, "But you always seemed to be leaving, just as I was arriving. Go on."
"We had been traveling in the Ettenmoors, far to the north of Imladris. Elrond's sons, Elladan and Elrohir, were with us. Elrond had asked us to scout out the land to see if any of Sauron's creatures were moving in the wasted lands. So far we hadn't met with a soul. It was about this time of year. Cold.
"We had camped by a spring, surrounded by a few straggly trees. We were remiss," Legolas said, "we hadn't seen any orc sign and we weren't careful enough. Then Elwen and I had a fight."
Legolas stopped speaking. The images flashed in the elf's mind - he could see and feel it so clearly - of lying under the blankets with Elwen stroking that sweet spot inside him, slowly, keeping Legolas on the edge of an orgasm. Elwen's breath smoked slightly in the cold air. He remembered what his dark-haired lover had said.
~*~*~*~
"Do you love me?" Elwen whispered.
"You know I do. Stop torturing me and finish it," Legolas moaned.
"No, I need to hear you say it. Say you love me more than life itself," the dark-haired elf whispered.
"Valar's gifts, I love you."
"More than life itself."
"Ai! You're killing me, Elwen. Yes, more than life itself," Legolas cried, as if the words were ripped from him.
"Ahhhh, yes," the dark-haired elf cried. He spat in his hand and began stroking Legolas's member as he moved faster, more passionately within him. Legolas looked up at the beautiful dark-haired elf, admiring his flushed cheekbones, the curve of his strong white chest, the dark ovals of his nipples, the movement of his ribs. Legolas reached up, grabbed Elwen's hips and pulled him in deeper, moaning in anticipation. A fire-rush of pleasure spread through Legolas's loins, as he came in Elwen's hand. At the same time, Elwen cried out. Legolas could feel Elwen's hot semen filling him, as the ebony-haired elf collapsed onto Legolas's chest.
After several long minutes, Legolas stroked his hand along Elwen's back. "Love, that was wonderful. You are so good at pleasuring me," he said. But Elwen rolled off of Legolas, taking the blanket with him. He curled up in it, turning away from the blond elf. Legolas was left naked in the cold. He tugged at the blanket.
"Come on, Elwen, it's too cold out here for you to take the whole cover!"
"Fine, you can have it!" Elwen threw his side of the blanket onto Legolas. Then he sat up and drew on his leggings, his long, black hair hanging in tangles over his back. He picked up his shirt and began turning the sleeves right side out. His movements were sharp, angry.
"What is wrong with you Elwen?" asked Legolas.
"Nothing," Elwen replied shortly.
"Yes, it's something. Tell me," commanded the blond prince.
"Alright, I will!" Elwen whirled to face Legolas. "Why, Legolas, even after all this time, do you make me beg you. Why won't you tell me you love me first?"
"I do tell you."
"Never! You never say it first. I have to drag it out of you, and usually in the midst of screwing your brains out, so you're half addled with pleasure."
"You don't think I mean it under those circumstances?" Legolas asked, astonished.
"You don't love me in the way I wish you would," Elwen said angrily.
"What is wrong with you, Elwen! You know I cannot bind myself to you. You knew that about me when we first met." It was Legolas's turn to get angry.
"Yes, Legolas, I *know* that," Elwen spat out. "I don't want a binding ceremony. I just want you to open your heart to me."
Legolas could feel a familiar hollow aching in his chest. He placed a hand over his heart, then he opened his mouth but no words would form. Finally he gasped out, "Elwen, please, I can't tell you what's wrong. I don't have the words."
Elwen pushed him aside. "You have words for everything else, but this. I feel as if a good wind could come by and sweep you away. There is a place within you, lirimaer, that you keep locked up. I can feel that place when we make love. I can feel it! " He thumped his chest. "And I can't help it, I want *all* of you, without regrets or fears." He looked directly at Legolas, lightning in his violet eyes. "I believe you are still your father's son. Your fear of displeasing him is stronger than your love for me!"
That had hit home, Legolas remembered. He sat up and grasped Elwen's arm. "What do you think, Elwen? That I've enjoyed this self-imposed exile from my family? That I haven't done it for you?"
"You haven't done it for me. You've done it for yourself!"
Elwen pulled on the rest of his clothes. Last, he flung his cloak around his shoulders with a flourish and fastened the pin. He picked up his bow and quiver and walked toward his horse.
"Where are you going?" Legolas called.
"Somewhere by myself, to think," he said. "Perhaps, I'll head back to Imladris."
"Elwen, it's night. This is insane."
"Good bye, Legolas."
~*~*~*~
Legolas rubbed his hand over his eyes. The memory was so clear and powerful. He could see Elwen's back as he walked away, his cloak flowing behind him, the angry way he leaped on the horse's back and spun him around.
"Go on, Legolas, what happened?" Aragorn prompted.
"He accused me of keeping a place in my heart locked away from him. Which was true. My father expects me to make a royal marriage to an elf woman, someday. I couldn't bind with Elwen. Or so I told myself at the time. But it was more complicated than that and not entirely my fault. To my everlasting regret, I let him ride off."
Legolas moved away from Aragorn and sat on the bed, pulling a black fur around his shoulders.
"Several hours went by and I sat by the fire, feeling angry at Elwen, and sorry for myself. Then suddenly I had a terrible feeling, as if I heard him call my name in terror. I jumped up and headed for my horse. Just then Elladan and Elrohir came riding up.
"'Where is Elwen?' Elladan asked.
"'He's ridden off, in a tantrum,' I said.
"'Legolas, we've got to find him right away,' said Elrohir. 'We've seen orc sign.'
"A cold fear gripped my heart. I mounted my horse and we rode the country looking for him. Finally, in the early hours of the morning, we spotted a fire in the distance. We tied the horses and then crawled through the brush.
"Aragorn, I can't bear the memory of the sight. I can hardly speak of it. The orcs had taken him. They had bound him to a tree." Legolas shuddered as he played the memory through his mind.
~*~*~*~
Illuminated in the flickering firelight, Elwen's body was bound to the tree by a coil of rope about his chest and neck. His hands were tied behind him, and his head had rolled forward onto his chest. He seemed to be unconscious or dead. He was stripped to the waist and bleeding from more than a dozen hideous, blackened wounds all over his chest and arms. It looked as if the orcs had pushed sharp, burning sticks into him, into that beautiful body. Legolas felt sick.
About a dozen of the orcs sat around the fire, feasting on what was left of Elwen's horse. They laughed and snarled, tossing bones over their shoulders.
Legolas had frozen in horror. Elladan shook his arm and spoke in a whisper, barely moving his lips, "Hey, Legolas, stay sharp. He's bleeding. He's still alive. Elrohir, you go over to the right. I'll circle around to the left. We'll distract them. Legolas, you run in and grab him. Go!"
The twins moved slowly into place. Suddenly arrows flew into the group of orcs from both sides. Several fell dead at once. The others started up and attempted to run. One of them headed straight for Elwen, carrying a knife. Legolas stood up and shot the orc right through the chest. Then the blond elf ran, feeling his heart pounding with fear. He reached Elwen's limp body and stood next to him, pulling and shooting arrows as fast as his hand could move. Several more orcs fell before the remainder fled, wailing.
Legolas cut his lover down and wrapped his cloak around him as Elwen was blue with cold. The prince held him in his arms, rocking him gently, singing the healer's song.
Elwen opened his eyes. "I knew you'd come, Ohtarnil,' he said. He was having trouble breathing.
"Hush, love, we're going to get you back to Imladris where Elrond can heal you."
"No, lirimaer, it's too late for that. The orcs did their work too thoroughly. I'm heading for the halls of Mandos. I can see the shining gates." He coughed up blood.
"No, Elwen, no, don't leave me," Legolas cried frantically.
"Legolas, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you." Tears welled from Elwen's eyes, one slipped down his cheek. "I have paid for my pride, my presumption."
"No, no, you were right. Please, Elwen, I love you!" Legolas shook him gently. A terrible fear gripped him.
The dark-haired elf tried to smile. "How much?" he whispered.
Legolas looked into the violet depths of his eyes and cried, "My heart, my soul, I love you more than life itself!" Legolas kissed his soft lips. Elwen smiled and died.
~*~*~*~
Legolas could still feel the desolation of that moment. He looked at Aragorn's concerned face, waiting for him to continue. Finally, the elf said, "Those cursed creatures tortured and murdered him. He died in my arms. Aragorn, you know the depth of anguish felt by your people when someone you love dies. For an elf, an immortal, where death is not an anticipated event, it is an agony beyond belief."
"I held Elwen, rocking for hours in uncontrollable grief. Then I was filled with wrath. I shot all my arrows into the dead orcs. I threw rocks. I sought to get on my horse and chase the remaining ones, with no thought for my own safety, but Elladan restrained me.
"We had to get his body back to Imladris. During that ride, I sank into a black despair. I didn't eat for days. We cremated him. After that, I wasted away. I wanted to die, too. Then, Elrond gave me something that made me forget for a while. I believe that saved my life.
"I awoke from the potion with an unquenchable rage in my belly. So then, I rode in search of orcs. Elladan and Elrohir rode with me. They understood in a way that few can. As you well know, orcs had tortured their mother.
"For fifty years, my rage overpowered me. I killed without mercy. It is only recently that I have realized that no amount of orc deaths will bring him back. Now the anger has burned lower, but it is still there, and easily stirred."
Legolas paused. "He died because I could not love him enough." A tear rolled down the elf's face.
Aragorn climbed onto the bed and held Legolas gently. "I'm sorry to have brought back this terrible memory. I was away from Imladris during that time, in the wilds, tracking my own demons. I didn't know what happened. Please, I can't bear to see you unhappy."
"I learned something from Elwen," Legolas said, "and that is, to love completely and fully, no matter the consequences. I offer you my love and I don't care anymore about protecting myself from pain. I have already experienced the worst."
Aragorn kissed the tears away from Legolas's face. "Remember what you said to me several nights ago? That sometimes it is healing to focus on present time and forget the past?"
Legolas nodded. Aragorn stroked the elf's silken hair, "I want to help you forget," he said.
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