Title & Chapter Number: Hearts in Lothlórien 8/10
Author(s): - Author's Index
Fandom: Middle Earth
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. They are the work of the Masterful Tolkien. Tolkien's the man! Also, I shamelessly stole, er, borrowed the series title from Stephen King's "Hearts in Atlantis." And the chapter title from Simon and Garfunkel's "The Sound of Silence." This story, however, is all mine. I make no money off of this and probably should be working on something where I might actually make some money…but here ya' go.
Warnings: Slash, (DUH!)
Betas: Salina
Cast: Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas, Boromir, Sam, Frodo, Merry, Pippin and Galadriel.
Timeline: TA-AU
Spoilers: None
Summary: Galadriel speaks to Merry about Pippin and Merry's growing love for his best friend.
Notes: There was the best quote in the book for Merry. Thank you Professor Tolkien for that. I love the scowling face that Dominic Monaghan uses for Merry, especially after leaving Bree when Merry is very suspicious of Strider. Special thanks to my sister for the star ornament/powdered cookie idea. (We both agreed that even Pip isn't stupid enough to take a bath in one of the Lady's fountains, which was our original idea, though it was an interesting image.) Much Love to Rebecca for the Beta!!
All Possible Roads
~*~*~*~
"'Almost exactly what I felt myself; only, only well, I don't think I'll say more,' he ended lamely."
-- The Fellowship of the Ring, JRR Tolkien~*~*~*~
I know he is coming, though I cannot see nor hear him. I can feel his presence. He is troubled, held rigid like a bow and arrow that is ready to fly. I am winding my way through a maze of trees when I spot him. He is hurrying along, glancing from side to side, and every now and then he looks up into the trees.
"Meriadoc," I call out.
He stops and turns to face me. I see little worry-lines crinkled up between his drawn eyebrows. He stands still and watches me as I slowly approach him.
"Where are you going in such a hurry?" I ask him.
He nods his head at me and touches his fingers to his forehead, something I am sure he has picked up from Aragorn. "My Lady. I was looking for Pippin. I seem to have lost him."
"Lost him? You speak as if he is a child and not a nearly grown Hobbit perfectly capable of taking care of himself."
"You'd be surprised," Merry sighs. "Last time I left him alone he got hungry and ended up eating some of those decorative stars you've got hanging."
I laugh. "I had heard rumors, but I did not believe them."
"He thought they were powdered cookies." Merry shakes his head. "I've told him a million times not eat anything unless it is served to him on a plate."
"I am sure he has forgotten, what with all this time on the road without any proper eating routine," I say, trying to reassure Merry.
"I suppose, but I feel I must apologize for his behavior anyway. Sometimes he is so unruly." Merry clenches his jaw and his scowl increases.
"Don't trouble yourself over it, Merry," I say. "I think my people are enjoying his antics. It's been a long time since we had such youthfulness here in Lothlorien. We could use more such light in these dark times."
Merry shrugs. "Perhaps, but that's no excuse to show any disrespect to our hosts by eating their decorations."
I look at Merry, puzzling over his attitude towards the one that I know he desires more than anything in the world.
"You are worried about him," I say.
It is not a question but Merry answers me nonetheless.
"Of course I am worried about him! If Pip doesn't stop eating things when he doesn't know what they are, he will make himself very sick someday."
I step a little closer to Merry and stare down into his eyes.
"No, you are worried about him on this Quest. You're worried of losing him."
Now I see fear and anger in Merry's eyes. He is afraid of me looking inside his heart again and seeing his secrets. I will not look if he does not want me to.
"Of course I'm afraid of losing Pip. He's my cousin and my best friend." He has drawn his lips into a tight line and glares at me.
"Merry," I say softly, hoping to soothe him. "You should not be ashamed of your feelings for Pippin."
"I don't know what you are talking about." He squares his shoulders but is unable to look me in the eyes.
"Is Pippin aware of how you feel?" I press him.
"I don't know what I feel."
Merry falls silent when I place my hand on his cheek.
"Meriadoc," I whisper.
I feel his jaw clenching under my palm.
"He is too young," Merry chokes out between gritted teeth. "I can't."
I stroke his cheek with my thumb and feel Merry's jaw relaxing.
"He is no longer so young, Merry. And time is a luxury that no one in Middle-Earth has anymore. You and Pippin may be parted soon."
He jerks his head up and looks at me with wild panic in his eyes.
"Do you know this?" he whispers.
I shake my head. "The future has yet to happen, allowing for all possible roads to be taken, and even some that don't seem possible."
Merry lets out a breath.
"But," I continue, "the road ahead of you is long and dark, and love is the only thing that will continue to shine light under fall of the Shadow. He is growing up, Merry, and soon Pippin will go looking for what you do not offer him. Is that how you wish it to be?"
"No," he breathes. "But he has already grown-up so much on this journey. What if he does not return my affections? How can I ask him to carry that burden with him as well?"
There is still fear in Merry's eyes, but now it is not fear of me, but rather of the future.
"Love is hope, and hope is all we have left, Meriadoc. How Pippin feels for you, I do not know. And neither will you, if you do not ask him."
"I do not ever want to lose him," Merry says.
"Then keep him by your side and in your heart."
He looks at me for a long moment, staring into my eyes as if judging my measure.
I do not flinch.
At last, Merry nods his head in acceptance, but his jaw continues to clench.
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