Title & Chapter Number: This Side of the Anduin 6/6
Author(s): - Author's Index
Fandom: Middle Earth
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. They are the work of the Masterful Tolkien. Tolkien's the man! This story, however, is all mine. I make no money off of this and probably should be working on something where I might actually make some money…but here ya' go.
Warnings: Slash, Drunken behavior, Humor, Mild Angst
Betas: Larian & Fireheart
Cast: Elrond, Glorfindel, Aragorn, Halbarad, Gandalf, Haldir, Legolas, Elladan and Elrohir
Timeline: TA-AU
Spoilers: None
Summary: It's the Midsummer Feast in Rivendell. Everyone gathers for the celebration. The twins plan mischief.
Notes: This is a Waters-of-Cuivienen Fest challenge which read…"Plot: Elves and mischief abound at the annual Summer Festival at Rivendell/Imladris. Describe." I meant for this to be a short little ficlet. The twins weren't happy until everyone had gotten laid. And Glorfindel and Elrond wanted to be a bit angsty, despite that I was really going for humor here. I have warped the characters into a bunch of frat boys, so be forewarned on that. Also, this is my first time writing Elrond, Glorfindel, Haldir, Halbarad and the Twins. Many, many thanks and praises to my betas, Cristine and Larian. And also thanks to my superhero leader, ConspiracyX, for answering my every beck and call. This one's for Menel.
Oh, Valar, Take Me Now
Halbarad's head hurt. He groaned, which only made his head hurt worse. He tried opening his eyes, but his eyelids seem too heavy. And sticky. In fact, he felt sticky all over. Halbarad tried to recall what had happened last night. He remembered ale, wonderful delicious ale. He remembered fireworks and Legolas draping himself all over Lord Elrond. He remembered laying on the ground, looking up at the stars.
He remembered…oh. The twins. He definitely remembered the twins.
Hesitantly, Halbarad opened his eyes. The first thing he saw were the branches of a tree hanging overhead. Then he caught movement out of the corner of his eye, and turned his head to see what it was.
Elrohir was sitting up, rubbing the back of his head and squinting his eyes. Halbarad could see a large welt on his shoulder that was the definite sign of being bitten. Though the thing about Elrohir that really caught Halbarad's eye was the nakedness. Stark naked.
Elrohir saw Halbarad staring at him. "What?" he asked crossly, as one would with a serious hang-over.
"You're naked," Halbarad said, his voice sounding rough to his own ears.
Elrohir scowled at him. "You're naked too."
Halbarad looked down at his body, and found that he was indeed naked too. He sat up quickly and then doubled over when a wave of nausea threatened to rise from his stomach.
Elrohir got up slowly and made his way around to the other side of Halbarad, where a naked Elladan lay face down in the dirt.
"Elladan!" Elrohir said roughly, cringing as his head rang from the noise of his own voice.
Elrohir reached down and shook his brother's shoulder. Elladan jerked awake yelling, "No, Glorfy, no pink bubbles!"
"Get up," Elrohir demanded of his brother.
Elladan sat up and looked over at Halbarad. "You're naked," he told the Ranger.
Halbarad only scowled at him.
Elladan's mouth formed a perfect 'oh' as the past night's activities settled in his mind.
"I like women," Halbarad told no one in particular.
"Um, that's fine," Elrohir replied, sitting down on the ground next to his brother. "Elladan is practically a woman anyway."
Elladan shoved his brother rather hard. "I am not."
Halbarad shuttered as an image of the previous night came unbidden into his mind. "Trust me, Elrohir, your brother is *no* woman." He felt a blush creeping across his face.
"Really?" Elladan asked, raising a questioning eyebrow. "You enjoyed yourself that much, then?"
Halbarad shrugged. "Can't really remember," he muttered, averting his eyes from the twins.
If Halbarad had been looking at the brothers, he would have noticed identical twinkles in their eyes.
"Perhaps, we should…"
"Jog your memory, then, hmm?"
~*~*~*~
"Legolas," Aragorn murmured.
The body laying across his chest stirred a little, but made no response.
Aragorn opened his eyes just far enough to squint at the golden haired-head that lay atop of him. Closing his eyes, Aragorn let out a contented sigh and began to run his fingers through the silky hair.
Legolas seemed to enjoy this as he snuggled in closer and let out a small moan.
"You are so beautiful, Legolas, my sweet," Aragorn told him.
"Not Legolas."
Aragorn crinkled up his brow. "If you aren't Legolas," he teased, "then who are you?"
p "Haldir."
"What?!" Aragorn sat straight up, toppling the Golden Elf off of him. "You're *not* Legolas," Aragorn cried out.
"No, I am not," Haldir mumbled, none to happy about the rude awakening.
"But I sleep with Legolas," Aragorn replied, anxiety overwhelming his voice.
"Well, apparently you'll sleep with any Elf who comes your way, " Haldir said, crossly.
Aragorn looked wildly around in search of Legolas. Hay. They were in the stables. The sun was up. They were both naked.
They were naked, in the stables, when the sun was up.
"Haldir," Aragorn whispered.
"Why are you whispering?" Haldir asked him, while searching around through the haystacks for his leggings.
"It's past dawn."
"Yes. And your point?"
"The stable boy comes in at dawn," Aragorn told him.
"Are you joking?" Haldir exclaimed, his voice rising quite a bit higher than a whisper.
"No."
"Like Lord Celeborn hasn't done enough in Lorien to ruin my reputation, now the stable boy in Rivendell is going to steal what dignity I have left," Haldir grumbled, finding Aragorn's shirt and tossing it at him.
"Don't yell at me," Aragorn said, handing Haldir his leggings. "I meant to sleep with Legolas."
"So did I."
"Wait, what?"
"Leg-O-Las," Haldir said slowly. "Please, Aragorn, why would I sleep with a Man when I could have had Legolas of Mirkwood?"
"You could *not* have had Legolas," Aragorn told him, while fastening his breeches.
"Yes, I could have," Haldir replied, lacing up his tunic.
"Wait," Aragorn said, placing a hand on Haldir's chest.
Haldir raised his eyebrows. "You want more?" he asked, beginning to undo his tunic.
"No. I just remembered something from last night."
"Oh," Haldir sounded more than a little disappointed. "What was it?" he asked, fastening his tunic up once again.
"Did you tell me that the Lady Arwen sends me her best?"
"Probably. She did tell me to give you her best."
Aragorn nodded thoughtfully. "But is that what you used to hit on me? Was your pick-up line, 'Please, allow me to give you *the* best?'"
Haldir's mouth fell open in shock. "I did say that, didn't I? Oh, Valar, take me now."
Aragorn stood up, clothes in order, mostly. Haldir followed suit, looking like he might be sick at any moment.
"We never speak of this, agreed?" Aragorn said.
"Agreed."
When they left the stable, the stable-boy was sitting just outside, drawing pictures in the dirt with a stick. He stood when he saw them and bowed low. Haldir and Aragorn nodded their heads at him, then proceeded on their way.
The stable-boy chuckled to himself and went in to begin his daily duties. He left the stall previously occupied by Haldir and Aragorn for the afternoon boy to clean.
~*~*~*~
Legolas felt heavy. His limbs felt heavy. His eyes felt heavy. Even his mind felt heavy. He struggled awake from the dream of his mother's green gardens, where he had spent most of his childhood. Except in this dream he had not been a child. And Aragorn had been there. And it had been a very good dream.
But now the waking world was calling to him. His body was demanding it. He felt something scratchy on his shoulder and moved to brush it off. His mind strained to determine what it was. Legolas opened his eyes to the bright sunlight of the day already begun. His stomach lurched.
"The twins," Legolas groaned, thinking of the large consumption of ale from the previous night. "I'm going to kill them."
"Was it so bad, then?"
Gandalf.
Legolas turned his head to find the source of the scratching on his shoulder. Gandalf was beside him in the bed, his face a breath away from Legolas and his beard covering the Elf's shoulder.
Legolas blinked several times and continued to stare at Gandalf.
Gandalf smiled at him. "Is anything the matter, sweetling?" he asked.
"Where is Aragorn?"
"I suppose he is in his chambers, still sleeping off the fun of last night," Gandalf replied.
"I am not in his chambers?" Legolas asked. Now his head was pounding and he had become very aware of his own nakedness.
"No, you are not."
"Then whose chambers am I in?"
"Mine."
Legolas closed his eyes, trying to hold back the bile that had risen to his throat. "Why am I in your chambers, Gandalf?"
"You don't remember?"
Legolas tried taking a deep breath. "I drank a lot last night. And, well, it was the twins' home brew, so you know, no, I don't remember."
Gandalf smiled and placed a soothing hand on Legolas' forehead. Legolas sighed and closed his eyes, allowing Gandalf's thumb to trace circles on his forehead, like he had done when Legolas was younger.
"You drank quite a bit more than I have ever seen you drink, young one. And you made quite a display about getting some fireworks," Gandalf told him, letting his fingers go to the back of the Elf's head to lightly touch the lump that had formed there.
Legolas winced at the touch.
"Do you remember asking for fireworks, Legolas?" Gandalf questioned.
"Yes, I remember. I remember you threw me on the ground and I hit my head," Legolas replied somewhat bitterly.
Gandalf chuckled. "Yes, that is true. Tell me, Prince of Mirkwood, do you remember draping yourself across our gracious host, Lord Elrond?"
"What?" Legolas felt the bile rising to his throat again.
"It was rather entertaining, I must admit. Especially the little dance you shared with the Lord of Rivendell."
Legolas couldn't breathe. His head was pounding and his stomach muscles were clenching with the struggle to keep last night's contents from coming up.
"I hit on Lord Elrond?" Legolas asked meekly.
"Yes, you did."
Legolas lay still for a very long time and Gandalf wasn't sure if he had perhaps fallen back to sleep.
"Gandalf?" he asked at last.
"Hmmm?"
"How did I end up in your chambers?"
"You were feeling quite tired, and I'd had enough of fun for one night, so I escorted you back to the house."
"Oh." Legolas paused again, thinking his next question through before asking. "Gandalf?"
"Hmmm?"
"Are you naked under the covers?"
Gandalf chuckled and traced the point of Legolas' ear with his fingertip. "Would you like to take a look and see for yourself?"
Legolas jerked his head away from Gandalf's touch. "No, I would not."
"Really?"
"Gandalf!" Legolas cried in exasperation. "My head hurts, my stomach hurts, and I woke up naked next to you and *not* Aragorn. I don't find this amusing one bit."
Gandalf turned Legolas' head to face him and looked straight into the Elf's eyes. "And I didn't find that little sick routine you used to get fireworks out of me one bit amusing, Legolas. I was concerned for your health and you were playing tricks on me. It's not a very nice thing to do, young one."
Legolas' mouth fell open in understanding. "Is this my punishment?" he asked, like a small child who has just been scolded by his elder.
"Would you consider this a punishment?" Gandalf asked, brushing his lips across Legolas' temple.
"I…I…I don't remember anything." Legolas was nearly in tears.
"You don't remember if you enjoyed laying with me?" Gandalf was smirking at Legolas now.
"Maybe you are tricking *me* this time," Legolas reasoned out loud. "Maybe nothing happened between us and this is just some sort of mind game you are playing to punish me."
"Do you really believe that?"
Legolas opened his mouth to say something, thought better of it, and closed it again.
There was a mischievous twinkle in Gandalf's eyes. "Perhaps you will never know for sure, Legolas. And perhaps you should think twice before toying with an old man's emotions, hmm?"
Legolas sighed. "I am sorry, Gandalf."
"Very good, then."
"Gandalf, may I ask you something?"
Gandalf was smiling genuinely at him now. "Of course, sweetling."
"If I hit on Lord Elrond, then why isn't he here in bed too?"
"I believe he went home with someone else." Gandalf grinned, wondering if Elrond had indeed gone home with someone else.
Legolas crinkled up his brow. "I don't understand. I made a move on Lord Elrond. Where is he, then?"
"Legolas, he turned you down."
Legolas shook his head. "No, he couldn't have. Really, Gandalf, where is he?"
Gandalf smoothed Legolas' furrowed brow. "He turned you down, sweetling."
The bile came back up in his throat again and this time Legolas could not stop it. Forgetting his state of undress and the fact that Gandalf was watching him, Legolas sprang from the bed and began retching in the basin in the corner of the room, muttering "Inconceivable," over and over again.
Gandalf sighed and got out of bed to aid him.
~*~*~*~
Someone's arm was around him as he slept. At first Elrond thought it to be Celebrian. But as he slowly returned to the waking, he realized that it was an arm with strong muscles and calloused fingertips.
It was a man's arm.
Elrond tried to turn his head so that he might see who shared a bed with him.
"Lay still," a voice commanded.
Elrond, so unaccustomed to being ordered around, froze. He lay perfectly still, trying to determine whom the muffled voice belonged to. The previous night's activities came flooding back to his mind. He remembered Prince Legolas using every bit of charm on him in an attempt to seduce him. He remembered there was some dancing. He danced with Legolas. He danced with… Glorfindel.
Oh, he had danced with Glorfindel.
Elrond rolled his body over ever so slightly, Glorfindel's arm still around him. His friend lay still, his face smashed into the pillow, his lower body covered by a sheet but still revealing the fact that he was naked. And so was Elrond, for that matter.
"I said, *lay still*," Glorfindel muttered.
"You are giving me orders now, Glorfindel?" Elrond teased.
"When you interrupt my sleep, I am, yes."
Glorfindel went still and quiet again. Elrond lay there, watching his friend's eyes for any sign of waking. Occasionally Glorfindel's eyelashes would flutter, but he made no move to open his eyes.
Elrond wondered how long he could lay like this, watching his friend in this exposed state, before reality set in and tore this precious moment away from him.
"Why are you staring at me?" Glorfindel muttered.
"And there went the moment," Elrond sighed.
"What moment?"
Elrond brushed his hand across Glorfindel's cheek. "The moment before we must awake from our dreams and face our reality."
Glorfindel opened his eyes and looked at his Lord. "I am awake, and I am still within my dreams as well."
Elrond traced Glorfindel's jaw line with his fingertip. "Reality must set in some time, Glorfy."
"This is not such a bad reality, is it my Lord?" Glorfindel whispered.
"No, it is not. I would willingly wake to this reality everyday," Elrond whispered back.
Glorfindel swallowed hard. "Then, please, allow me to fall asleep to this reality every night."
"It is not so simple," Elrond replied, tracing Glorfindel's ear.
"It can be."
"This is not a duty you are required to perform, Glorfindel," Elrond replied a bit harshly.
Glorfindel reached out and grasped Elrond's roaming fingertips. "Required, no. *Want*, yes."
"I am your Lord," Elrond replied, though he still interlaced his fingers with Glorfindel's.
"That does not mean that my love is not real," Glorfindel whispered, eyes latched onto Elrond's, hands shaking with nerves.
Elrond leaned closer, pressing his lips against Glorfindel's. "Nor mine," he whispered back.
Glorfindel opened his mouth, inviting Elrond to take him. They kissed greedily, hungrily, as if to bring back the previous night's passion lost in a haze of ale and lust.
When they parted, Elrond smiled at his friend. "What do you suppose my sons really put in that brew of theirs?"
"I think," Glorfindel smiled in return, "that some things are better left undiscovered."
"Well, this is one year that they have done more good than harm, at least."
Glorfindel raised an eyebrow. "Don't speak to soon, my Lord. You have yet to discover where your sons spent *their* night last night, yes?"
Elrond grinned. "This is true," he replied, shoving Glorfindel onto his back and straddling his friend's hips. "But we shall have to wait until later to find out the answer to that mystery."
Glorfindel grinned and reached up for another kiss. "Yes, later," he murmured against Elrond's mouth. "Much, much later."
THE END
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