Title & Chapter Number: This Side of the Anduin 2/6
Author(s): - Author's Index
Fandom: Middle Earth
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. They are the work of the Masterful Tolkien. Tolkien's the man! This story, however, is all mine. I make no money off of this and probably should be working on something where I might actually make some money…but here ya' go.
Warnings: Slash, Drunken behavior, Humor, Mild Angst
Betas: Larian & Fireheart
Cast: Elrond, Glorfindel, Aragorn, Halbarad, Gandalf, Haldir, Legolas, Elladan and Elrohir
Timeline: TA-AU
Spoilers: None
Summary: It's the Midsummer Feast in Rivendell. Everyone gathers for the celebration. The twins plan mischief.
Notes: This is a Waters-of-Cuivienen Fest challenge which read…"Plot: Elves and mischief abound at the annual Summer Festival at Rivendell/Imladris. Describe." I meant for this to be a short little ficlet. The twins weren't happy until everyone had gotten laid. And Glorfindel and Elrond wanted to be a bit angsty, despite that I was really going for humor here. I have warped the characters into a bunch of frat boys, so be forewarned on that. Also, this is my first time writing Elrond, Glorfindel, Haldir, Halbarad and the Twins. Many, many thanks and praises to my betas, Cristine and Larian. And also thanks to my superhero leader, ConspiracyX, for answering my every beck and call. This one's for Menel.
What A Handsome Package
"I do believe…at the least…"
"Splendid…natural…of course…"
"I worry…as they are…"
Elladan pressed his ear closer to the door, trying to make out the conversation on the other side.
"What are they saying?" Elrohir whispered to him.
"I can't hear. I think they are on the balcony."
"Here, let me try." Elrohir pushed his brother out of the way rather forcefully and pressed his ear to the door.
"You won't be able to hear any better than I, Elrohir. Let me try again."
"Ssshh, Papa just said Glorfindel's name."
"Are they talking about me, then?" Glorfindel's voice came from directly behind them and the twins both jumped and covered their mouths to keep from crying out.
Glorfindel shook his head at them in a disapproving manner, but his eyes betrayed the smile that he hid.
"Glorfy, you scared us," Elrohir whispered.
Glorfindel looked at the twins suspiciously, moving from one face to the other. "What are you two up to, hmm?"
"Nothing," they both replied, a little too quickly for Glorfindel's peace of mind.
Glorfindel grunted and moved them both out of the way of the door. "Whatever it is, I suggest you put a halt to it. Your father doesn't appreciate your little schemes. And frankly, neither do I."
Elladan sighed. "You are so old now, Glorfy. You're no fun anymore."
"It is not my job to entertain the two of you. I believe a package has arrived for you just now. Go out front and attend to the matter, will you?"
Before they could answer, Glorfindel had shoved them both down the hallway and toward the front passage.
~*~*~*~
Aragorn handed his horse off to a stable boy and watched as Halbarad did the same.
"It's so quiet here," Halbarad whispered. He had always felt like there was a peace in Rivendell that would be broken if he should speak to loudly.
"Well, not for long," Aragorn whispered back, as he gestured towards the main archway.
The twins were making their way towards the Rangers, mischievous grins plastered on their faces.
Elladan shouted out, "Gandalf said there was a package waiting for us out front."
Elrohir followed suit with, "But he didn't tell us what a handsome package it was."
Aragorn chuckled. "Is that the best you've got for me? That's shameful."
"Oh no, we've got plenty more than that. We're just saving it for the Feast, that's all." Elrohir said as he reached Aragorn, wrapped his arms around the Ranger's neck and planted a big, sloppy kiss on his cheek.
"We can't use all our good lines on your arrival, now can we?" Elladan said, as he came up behind Aragorn and wrapped his arms around the Ranger's waist.
Aragorn pushed them both away and reached into a pouch hanging from his belt. "I have a *real* present for you," he told them. Aragorn pulled out a clump of something green and Elrohir let out a squeal of excitement.
Leaning down, Elrohir sniffed at the clump and then jumped up in the air clapping his hands very animatedly. "It's Old Toby!" he cried.
Aragorn felt Elladan's tongue in his ear in an act of appreciation. "You're very welcome, gentlemen. Now Elladan, kindly remove your tongue from my ear."
Elladan stepped back and pouted, but as Aragorn's back was to the Elf, the effect was lost on him.
Halbarad chuckled. "We went a bit out of our way to get that stuff, and Aragorn assured me that it would be worth it. It seems he was right."
"Perhaps you have brought us a present as well, Halbarad," Elladan teased, placing his hand on the small of the Ranger's back.
Halbarad jumped at the intimate contact and spun around, wild panic in his eyes.
Aragorn laughed. "Relax, friend." Aragorn took Halbarad by the arm and began to lead him towards the main archway. "Let's just get you settled in, all right?"
Halbarad nodded, feeling a bit foolish at his reaction to the Elf's touch.
As they began to disappear from the Elves' view, Aragorn called back over his shoulder, "Is that room next to yours still empty, Elladan?"
The answer was drowned out by Halbarad, making a noise that sounded somewhat like a mouse having its tail stepped on.
~*~*~*~
He didn't knock on the door in hopes of catching Aragorn off guard. He didn't expect to catch him *this* off guard though.
The Ranger was lying on the bed in his robe, stretched out across the fresh sheets on his side, one arm tucked neatly under his head, the other rubbing slow circles on Glorfindel's bare back. Glorfindel was also laying on his side facing Aragorn, curled up into a slight ball, hands in front of him, twisting as he talked in whispers with the Ranger, their faces mere inches apart. Glorfindel was clad in only his leggings, and Aragorn's bare feet seemed to be constantly rubbing against Glorfindel's own bare feet.
Legolas intended to quietly leave the room without exposing his presence. However, a small strangled choking noise came from his throat before he could stop it and both the Ranger and the Elf sat up in bed as fast as lightning.
"Legolas!" Aragorn cried, jumping up on the bed and leaping over Glorfindel in his haste to get to the Prince.
Legolas let Aragorn wrap him up in a hug.
Aragorn kissed Legolas' ear and took in a great breath of the unique scent of the Elf.
Glorfindel watched from the bed, noting the confusion and a hint of jealousy in Legolas' eyes.
"I didn't mean to interrupt. I just, Elladan said I could find you in here and, I'm sorry if I bothered you, I just…"
By this time Glorfindel had crossed the room and was standing next to the pair, Aragorn's face still buried in Legolas' hair. "You didn't disturb us, Legolas."
Aragorn pulled back and looked at Legolas. "When am I ever too busy for my favorite Elf, huh?" Aragorn teased.
Legolas blushed and looked down at the floor. "I just, you were, I thought…"
Glorfindel laughed and patted Legolas on the shoulder. "He thinks we were being *intimate*, Aragorn. As if I would dirty myself with a mortal."
Aragorn smacked Glorfindel on the back of the head.
Glorfindel laughed again and planted a soft kiss on Legolas' cheek. "Do not worry, beautiful one. The only competition you will have is from Elrohir. But I wouldn't worry too much over him. He can be persuaded to compromise. Or even share."
Aragorn smacked Glorfindel on the back of the head one more time for good measure, as Glorfindel left the room.
Once the door was closed, Aragorn proceeded to kiss Legolas good and thoroughly, as one would who hasn't seen their lover in several months.
"You weren't really jealous of Glorfindel, were you?" Aragorn asked in between kisses.
"I just thought, you know, if you are shagging him, how come you never invited me along to play?"
Aragorn grinned and dragged Legolas over to the bed. "Well, not with Glorfindel, but I can assure you there will be other playmates tomorrow, my prince."
Aragorn resumed kissing the Elf and talking ceased for another good hour or so.
~*~*~*~
"And how did you come to arrive here so close to the Feast, hmm?" Gandalf took another puff from his pipe, as he waited for Haldir to respond.
Haldir stretched out his legs and leaned back against the tree they sat under. Looking up at the night sky, he contemplated how to best answer such a question without being disrespectful to his Lady and Lord.
"I volunteered to make the trek," he said at last.
"But you are a border guard, not a messenger, Haldir. That does not sound like something The Lady would do."
Haldir sighed. "If you must know, I am tired of being on duty while all the festivities are going on."
Gandalf raised his eyebrows at Haldir. This Elf was not the type to ever complain about his duties, nor set them aside for a party of any kind, Feast or not.
"Hmmm," Gandalf mused aloud. "You were tired of being left out of the fun, then?"
Haldir looked at Gandalf with a grin. "Now, Gandalf, does that sound like me?"
"Certainly not. But then I don't claim to understand you one bit, Haldir. You are quite the mystery to me, to most everyone in fact."
"Good. That is the way I like it."
Gandalf chuckled. "But come, you have yet to answer my question. Why did The Lady send you here, now, at this time?"
"Someone had to come, and quite frankly, I am tired of cleaning up everyone else's mess. Practical jokes. Drunken fights. People wandering off after too much ale and trying to drown in the river. Lord Celeborn making passes at me. Noisy *disturbances* that demand I check them out, only to find out that it's my brothers doing things I don't want to see. The Lady Arwen wandering off with some Male-Elf and The Lady instructing me to go find her, like I need to see that. The Lady making passes at me. Drunken Elves falling from trees. Having to listen to that damn drinking song that you taught everybody. And strange Men from the South coming and claiming they have an invitation to the Feast, driving them off, only to find out that the Lady Arwen invited them and then having to go track them down and bring them back. I wanted nothing to do with any of that and I insisted that my years of loyal service deserved this one thing that I ask of my Lady and Lord. So here I am."
Gandalf smiled at this outburst, so uncommon in the usually composed and silent Elf, but said nothing.
Haldir reached over and placed his hand on Gandalf's pipe. "Is this Old Toby?" he asked.
"Indeed," Gandalf replied, letting Haldir slip it from his hands.
They sat in silence, passing the pipe back and forth, gazing up at the stars.
At last, Gandalf spoke. "Haldir?"
"Hmm?" Haldir mumbled, now more relaxed than he had been in months.
"Are you saying that Lord Celeborn just listened to your argument and decided to let you come here for the Feast this year?"
Haldir visibly flinched, but remained quiet.
"You had to do something *nasty* with Lord Celeborn, didn't you?"
Haldir turned his head and met Gandalf's eyes. "My friend, you haven't given me nearly enough of this," he said, tapping the end of the pipe, "for me to relate that story to you."
Gandalf unhooked a pouch from his belt and held it up before Haldir's face. "Then we shall have to have a little more, hmm?"
Haldir grinned and reached for the pouch.
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