Title & Chapter Number: This Side of the Anduin 1/6
Author(s): - Author's Index
Fandom: Middle Earth
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. They are the work of the Masterful Tolkien. Tolkien's the man! This story, however, is all mine. I make no money off of this and probably should be working on something where I might actually make some money…but here ya' go.
Warnings: Slash, Drunken behavior, Humor, Mild Angst
Betas: Larian & Fireheart
Cast: Elrond, Glorfindel, Aragorn, Halbarad, Gandalf, Haldir, Legolas, Elladan and Elrohir
Timeline: TA-AU
Spoilers: None
Summary: It's the Midsummer Feast in Rivendell. Everyone gathers for the celebration. The twins plan mischief.
Notes: This is a Waters-of-Cuivienen Fest challenge which read…"Plot: Elves and mischief abound at the annual Summer Festival at Rivendell/Imladris. Describe." I meant for this to be a short little ficlet. The twins weren't happy until everyone had gotten laid. And Glorfindel and Elrond wanted to be a bit angsty, despite that I was really going for humor here. I have warped the characters into a bunch of frat boys, so be forewarned on that. Also, this is my first time writing Elrond, Glorfindel, Haldir, Halbarad and the Twins. Many, many thanks and praises to my betas, Cristine and Larian. And also thanks to my superhero leader, ConspiracyX, for answering my every beck and call. This one's for Menel.
No Such Thing As Too Much
The Rangers pulled their horses to a halt. Aragorn wiped the sweat from his brow and began removing his tunic. Halbarad took the water canteen and swallowed a mouthful. He looked over at his friend, whose long-sleeved undershirt was soaked through with sweat.
Halbarad handed Aragorn the canteen. "You have gone soft over the past few months, trekking away in the mountains and cold."
"I have not gone soft," Aragorn mumbled. "I just over-dressed is all."
Halbarad laughed. "You are hardly inside the borders of Elven lands, and yet all ready you shed your clothing."
Aragorn smiled wickedly at his friend. "Indeed. It must be some Elven magic that makes a man want to shed his layers, hmm? You better take care, Halbarad, or you may fall under this spell as well."
"If there is a pretty Elven lass about, then I welcome the spell. However, you know better than to get me mixed up in the fun of your friends."
Aragorn chuckled as his horse started down the path once more. "Perhaps I have misrepresented the Midsummer Feast to you, Halbarad. It is not a drunken orgy, you know."
Halbarad pulled his horse up alongside of Aragorn's. "I did not think that it was. It sounds like a wonderful way to celebrate Life, family and friends. On the other hand, I know you and I know Lord Elrond's sons. And I really do hope that Gandalf is there, so that I might have an intelligent person to converse with," he teased.
"Perhaps Legolas will be there," Aragorn said, his voice cracking ever so slightly in anticipation of seeing the Elven prince.
"Perhaps," Halbarad replied, watching Aragorn out of the corner of his eye. "I somehow have a feeling that Legolas will be rather too busy to entertain me though."
"Busy? How so?"
"Oh, come off it, Aragorn. I know what I see. Why do you think that last year, when Legolas invited us to the Midsummer Feast in *his* kingdom, I declined?"
Aragorn shrugged. "Because you don't like parties. And you're scared of Legolas' father."
Halbarad scowled. "First of all, I am *not* scared of King Thranduil. You are confusing the two of us. And second, I like parties. I just don't like people. Or talking. Or dancing."
"Then remind me what it is you *do* like about parties."
"Ale. And food. And ale."
Aragorn laughed. "Then you shall enjoy yourself for sure. The twins make the best ale this side of the Anduin."
Halbarad shook his head. "You say that with all sincerity, and yet somehow I have a sinking feeling in my stomach."
Aragorn reached over and clasped his friend's shoulder. "Relax, friend. It will be fun. You shall see."
~*~*~*~
"Who rides there?" came the call.
Legolas turned his horse around on the path and put up his hand in a gesture of peace. "It is Legolas of Mirkwood," he called out.
Legolas squinted his eyes against the sun, trying to make out the face of the leader at the front of the column. They were Elves, of this he was sure, for his rear scout had just moments before ridden up with tidings of an approaching Elf party from Lothlorien. But he did not know who lead this party, nor to where they were headed.
The leader jumped swiftly from his horse and approached Legolas, his head bowed.
"Prince Legolas," he said, his voice but a whisper.
Legolas dismounted as well, and approached the stranger, who tilted his head up ever so slightly and peaked out through his long blonde hair. Cool grey eyes latched onto Legolas' blue ones and smiled at him.
"Haldir!" Legolas exclaimed, clasping his friend's shoulder.
Haldir returned the gesture, feeling his face blush from such an exuberant response from the beautiful Prince.
"What ever are you doing here, my friend?" Legolas asked, letting his hand fall from Haldir's shoulder.
Haldir let his own hand fall to his side, missing the other's touch. "I bear tidings from The Lady of the Golden Wood to Lord Elrond of Rivendell. And a few Midsummer presents from the Lady Arwen to her brothers. May I ask where you are set out to?"
"I go with tidings to Rivendell as well," Legolas replied, then leaned in close enough to whisper in Haldir's ear. So close that Haldir could feel the Prince's breath upon his cheek and soak in the scent of green grass and pine. "To tell the truth, I don't think my father was amused with my antics at last year's Midsummer Feast and has sent me away to be Lord Elrond's problem this year." Legolas stepped back and beamed proudly at Haldir.
"You do not seem upset by this," Haldir mused.
"My friend, Elrohir and Elladan make the best ale this side of the Anduin. My father can have his stuffy feast without me."
Haldir nodded. "I have heard rumors of their talent in brewing. It seems this year I will have a chance to *taste* for myself." This last remark was said with a wicked smile and a wink at Legolas which made the Prince giggle in spite of himself.
"Then come, Haldir of Lorien, you shall ride up front with me." Legolas waved his hand in the air, as one who has just made a large proclamation.
Haldir nodded his thanks at the Prince. "It would be my honor. Especially if you would be so kind as to tell me about your so-called *antics* of last year's Feast."
Now it was Legolas who smiled wickedly and winked. "Perhaps, my friend. Perhaps."
~*~*~*~
Lord Elrond sat at his desk in the study, staring at the stack of reports before him. He had sorted them into piles from least important to most urgent. He had alphabetized them. He had lined up his ink jars and feather quills in order from smallest to largest. Now he sat staring at the reports hoping that something might happen to distract him from actually having to read them.
There was a knock on the door.
"Come in!" he bellowed in his relief to turn away from his work.
There was laughter in the hall, the door opened, and Glorfindel stepped into the room. He was grinning at Elrond and shaking his head.
"What is so funny?" Elrond asked, narrowing his eyes at Glorfindel with a suspicious look that he normally saved for his sons.
Glorfindel gestured to the desk, with its perfect stack of well-organized reports. "You seemed a little over-happy at the prospect of being interrupted during your very important work," Glorfindel teased. "And which of those reports have you finished, my Lord?"
Elrond looked away and mumbled something.
"Beg your pardon, Lord Elrond?"
Elrond looked back at Glorfindel with an icy stare. "Was there something you needed, Glorfindel?"
Glorfindel chuckled. "Yes, Gandalf has arrived. I thought you might want to greet him."
Elrond jumped up from his chair. "Absolutely. It would be rude of me not to, don't you think?"
"I'm sure he would understand that you have much work to finish before the Feast, my Lord."
"Nonsense. That is no way to treat a friend. I will go at once." Elrond headed for the door and made a gesture for Glorfindel to follow. "Come."
Glorfindel laughed, took one last look at the unread reports, and turned to follow Elrond out of the room.
~*~*~*~
"You're putting too much into it," Elrohir said.
"Sssh, be quiet, I am not," Elladan countered. "There is no such thing as too much."
The twins, heirs of Elrond, Lord of Rivendell and representatives of the Elven race, were hunkered down in the wine cellar, on their knees before a great barrel of ale.
"Yes, there is," Elrohir complained. "Remember the time you accidentally dropped the bottle in and like half of the contents spilled out and Glorfindel ended up humping that tree?"
"Yes, but that was funny."
"Yes, but if anyone besides the two of us had seen that, Papa would have found out what our secret "recipe" is for the best ale this side of the Anduin."
"True. And then of course, we'd have been over his knee like we were still Elflings."
"Which wouldn't have been nearly as much fun as when Glorfindel woke up after humping the tree and put us over *his* knee."
Elladan smiled. "That *was* fun, wasn't it?"
So caught up as they were in fond memories of Glorfindel's knees, that neither of the twins heard the creaking of the floorboards until it was too late and the door was opening.
"Valar!" Elladan cursed, shoving the bottle of Elven aphrodisiacs down his pants. Elrohir jumped up to stand in front of the barrel of ale and hide the pinkish liquid that had yet to be mixed into the brew.
Gandalf stepped into the room and scowled at the twins. "Which one of you just swore?" he asked.
"I did," they both said at once.
Gandalf grumbled at them. "You shouldn't take the Valar's name in vain like that."
"Sorry," they both replied.
Gandalf stopped scowling and beamed at them. "Mixing up some ale for the Feast, are you?"
The twins nodded.
"I have this wine here, for your father's toast." Gandalf set two bottles of wine (acquired from Paladin Took upon Gandalf's last visit to the Shire) on the shelf near the door.
"Did you bring any fireworks, Gandalf?" Elladan asked.
"Oh, yes, did you?" Elrohir echoed his brother.
"You shall have to wait and see, now won't you?" Gandalf teased. "Now come here, the both of you. I haven't gotten a proper welcome yet."
Gandalf hugged first Elrohir, who planted a chaste kiss on Gandalf's lips to distract him from looking at the pinkish colored ale, and then Elladan, who squirmed and tried to free himself from Gandalf's arms before the wizard noticed the bulge in his pants.
"I have passed recently through Mirkwood and I bear tidings that Prince Legolas shall be joining us for the Feast," Gandalf told them.
"Oh, yay!" Elrohir clapped his hands in excitement.
Gandalf chuckled, noting the flush in Elrohir's face and the scowl his brother was giving the back of his head.
"Well, I am off to meet with your father. I shall see the two of you at dinner, I hope."
Gandalf moved to the door and stopped. Turning around, his eyes met Elladan's and a smile danced on his lips. "I nearly forgot to ask you, Elladan," he said, "Is that Elven aphrodisiac in your pants or are you just happy to see me?"
The twins' mouths fell open as they watched Gandalf smile and then leave the room, closing the door behind him.
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