Title & Chapter Number: Of Elves and Myths Series: My Heart Grieves 1/1
Author(s): - Author's Index
Fandom: Tolkien/Mythology
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Certain familiar characters belong to Tolkien or to various cultures, I think you know which ones. I make no money.
Warnings: None
Betas: Amy B
Cast: Elrond
Timeline: TA
Spoilers: Nope
Summary: Elrond has left his children behind in Middle-earth, taking the ship to Valinor, but his heart grieves for them.
Notes: First off, just to head off any assumtions, these stories are not about the mythology of the Elves. They are stories containing mythology, sometimes combined, from Greek, Roman, Slavic, etc. cultures and incorporated into tales featuring Elves.
Second, there is no order to these as I write. Some take place during the War of the Ring, some take place after, some will probably take place before it. Others, still, aren't set in a specific time. The time setting is decided simply by what ideas come to me.
SPECIAL THANKS: To Amy B. for her wonderful beta reading, I just love reading your comments. They let me know I'm on the right track.
The last ship of the Third Age had left Mithlond under a somber mood. Great changes had come to Middle-earth and, though they would no longer be walking upon it, the Elves heading for Valinor felt the effects as well.
Elrond was among those who went with a heavy heart. All tread carefully around him as he roamed the deck, waiting to leave; his face dark and imposing, though there was a hint of regret in his eyes. Not even the Lady Galadriel intruded upon him. Once the ship had left behind all view of land, the brooding Elf had retreated from all sight to his rooms until the day had long been spent and many more hours passed.
On the fourth night, when all was quiet and the decks of the sleek ship were hardly visited, Elrond emerged from his room to place himself at the stern. The cool wind swept along the decks, blowing his long hair out in front of him as he stood, staring down into the depths of the dark water as it passed below him.
"You grieve for someone you have left behind?"
A bit startled, Elrond jerked his head up and looked around, his gaze settling on a golden-haired maiden standing behind him. The wind seemed to part ways around her of its own accord, as her hair barely fluttered and her dress stayed still at her bare feet. He could see a mirror image of how he felt in her own eyes and, though he had been angry at being interrupted, the lines on his face smoothed out as he took a deep breath.
He cast a glance back out to the sea. "You seem like you know the feeling well, m'Lady," he softly said.
"Soredamors," she said, her melodic voice was not carried away by the wind though she had not spoken loudly.
He looked back at her as she approached. "Pardon me?"
"My name is Soredamors."
He gave her a brief, but hollow, smile as he bowed his head in greeting. "I am pleased to make your acquaitance. I am Elrond." They stood in silence for a moment, regarding each other. "Which party have you traveled with? I do not recognize you from Imladris."
"I am traveling as a handmaiden." Her blue eyes were lit by the moons and stars overhead, also giving her an ethereal look.
He gave a slight nod. "To the Lady of Lothlórien?" She only gave him a smile in return. "So, who is the lucky one that has won your fair hand? If you don't mind me asking that is."
She shook her head as she leaned upon the railing and gazed at some distant spot on the horizon. "His name was Alexander; the only one my heart ever loved. And loves still."
"Alexander... it sounds like a name of the race of Men. You chose to leave him, though you loved him so?" He leaned forward with interest as to how this fair maiden could have done what his own daughter had not.
"I didn't."
He frowned in puzzlement. "I'm sorry, but I don't understand."
"He died," was all she simply said after a few long moments. There was a long silence between them.
"Forgive me. I am sorry for your loss. If you do not wish to talk about it..."
She reached a hand out to his. "All is not lost. We will see each other again... soon."
He watched her intently for a moment. She wasn't as different from Arwen as he had thought. "You would will yourself to fade?"
She nodded and gave him that soft smile again. "Yes."
"Why?" He wanted desperately to understand, in his own way, why he had to leave his daugther behind.
"Because my heart grieves so. It does not live without him because he was a part of it. Though we had such a short time together, we were meant to be together and so we always shall be."
Elrond stood and pondered this for a long time. His thoughts were interrupted by her question. "Is your wife who you left behind?"
He shook his head and closed his eyes, the image of his wife's face rising before him. "I go to meet my wife, but I have left my children behind. One is doomed to die." He turned his gaze upon Soredamors for a moment. "She has chosen one who will die and leave her all alone." He took a deep breath, as if saying the next words would make it all a reality in a way it hadn't before. "And she will fade to follow him, taking a course she was never meant to take. And my sons. I do not know if they will come."
He felt the light touch of her hand on his shoulder and they leaned against each other in their grief. "There is no set course for any of us," she spoke softly. "We all must make our own paths, decisions, and mistakes. They make us who we are... or is it that they show who we are. To go against what we would do is to go against who we are, thus crushing our own spirits. I am sure your daughter will find much happiness on the path she takes and that it will outweigh any sorrow. She is not alone."
"But she will be," his voice had taken on a slight edge. "It is only a matter of time."
"No," her own voice had taken on a hard tone as she looked up at him. "She will never be alone. As Alexander lives on in me, so will her chosen, until they are reunited again forever." She watched him carefully, his eyes close to spilling tears.
"Is there another reason why you are so against her decision? That she chose another over her father?"
He sharply looked at her, but felt it useless to hide. "A bit, perhaps. She is my only daughter."
"A bit. What is the rest?"
Elrond sank to his knees suddenly, tears spilling down his face as she knelt down next to him. "Our parting was not a happy one. I fear she thinks I do not love her because of her decision and I have no way to tell her otherwise, for I would tell her only myself."
Soredamors smoothed his hair back with both hands before she began to wipe the tears away. "She is your daughter. You have loved her all her life, nothing so small could tear that love apart. I am certain she knows this, that you love her and always will." She looked up at the night sky for a few seconds before smiling at him once more. "I must go. Do not grieve for her, for will you not be then leaving behind someone yourself?"
"Celebrian," he whispered more to himself than to answer her.
"And grieve not for your sons, they may yet come. Perhaps they have not chosen their path yet. Your children will still never be parted from you, however. They will live with you for all time." She touched her hand to his heart. "Here."
He grasped her hand suddenly, placing a kiss on her knuckles before his grey misty eyes met hers. "Thank you. You given me hope when I thought there was none left."
She leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "There is always hope."
She gently pulled her hand free as she stood and he did not watch her walk away. He stay there for a while longer before he stood himself and retreated to his room to rest.
~*~*~*~
"Lord Elrond, I did not think to see you until the ship docked, but it does my heart good to see you," Galadriel's melodic voice greeted Elrond the next afternoon as a fair bird meets the sunrise.
He gave her a nod. "M'Lady."
Galadriel studied him, her own sorrow at leaving Celeborn behind lifted somewhat by his company. "You look far better than last I saw you."
"I have been given a new view of things and have gotten a good night's rest." He offered her his arm as they began to stroll along the deck. He looked about them as if searching for someone. "Tell me, where is your handmaiden?"
There was a brief smirk on her face. "Which one? I do hope you're not thinking of cheating on Celebrian with one. It would be wise not to do such so close to home, don't you think?"
Elrond looked at her in shock. "Of course not!" He caught the smirk and gave her a smile of his own, perhaps the first one he'd meant in a long time. "It was one of your handmaidens whose advice I took last night and I must thank her once more. Soredamors was the name she gave me."
Galadriel shook her head and frowned. "I have no handmaiden by that name, nor do I think I have ever heard it."
Elrond stopped and looked at her. "You are sure?"
She patted his arm. "Quite sure, but do not worry yourself over it. If she gave you help what does it matter what her name is?"
"It would matter not."
"Good. And you have said your wished to thank her once more so I assume you have done so once already, leave be at that. If you see her again, then thank her again. Let us go see how Frodo fares."
"Indeed, m'Lady."
They walked off arm in arm down the deck, where at the other end Frodo and Bilbo sat with their pipes.
The End
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