Title & Chapter Number: Time for the Hunt 1/2
Author(s): - Author's Index
Fandom: Tolkien
Rating: G Comedy
Disclaimer: I do not own anyone in this fic but myself... at least... I think I own myself. *muse steps up* "No, *I* own you." *Char shrugs* Okay... I don't own me... he does. Glad we got that covered. Uh... where was I? Oh, yes, I do not own Haldir, Legolas, etc., etc., etc. The estate of J. R. R. Tolkien owns all these wonderful characters and such. I am just merely borrowing them for a bit of fun. I am making absolutely no money off this.
Warnings: None
Betas: Noe
Cast: Haldir, Char
Timeline: AU
Spoilers: None
Summary: Written for Haldir_Lovers group. My response to the fan fiction challenge to have Haldir or one of his brothers as the main character. Well, okay, he *kinda* has to share the spotlight just a tad... Not telling you what it's about because that would just spoil things... sorry. :(
Notes: As I'm leaving tomorrow and I will perhaps be awfully busy upon my return, I have not sent this out to be betaed. I thought you could all enjoy it while I was out of town.
It was peacefully quiet in the forests of Lothlorien. They wouldn't stay that way for long.
A dark-haired woman sprinted over the top of the hill, casting a glance behind her as she started down the other side. She stumbled over an exposed tree root and, with a yelp of surprise, went crashing down the rest of the steep embankment. She caught glimpses of a swift figure following her down on sure feet, as the world spun around her in the colors of nature.
There were several colorful curses as the human ball came to a stop in a heavy mass of berry bushes, sending up a flurry of birds in the process. She lay there stunned until a form eclipsed the sun's rays shining on her through the canopy.
"I'm impressed. That was quite graceful, Charlene. Perhaps I should time you at the next opportunity because, as you boasted, you were certainly quick on your feet." An amused smile painted his lips. "Or should I say quick to leave them?"
Blue eyes narrowed as she glowered up at him. "Shut up, Haldir!"
"Oh, and may I point out that we had decided to go down... that way?" He pointed at a spot where rocks had been embedded in the earth to form steps.
"It was a detour!" She let out a frustrated sigh.
Haldir clapped his hands. "Come on, get up! This is no way to get a headstart on the competition."
She stuck her tongue out at him as she struggled to her feet. Haldir rummaged into a pouch on his belt before pulling out a slightly crumpled piece of paper. Char watched his face go a bit pale.
"They must be joking!"
She grabbed a handful of leaves and tried to wipe off as much of the berry juice she had gotten on her as she could. "What is it?"
"I know the idea of Game Day was too good to be true! I should've known there was a catch somewhere..." he trailed off as he shook his head.
She grabbed his hand and pulled the paper free of his fingers as he muttered, "A balrog! They want us to find a balrog! Are they mad? Whose idea was this!?!" He threw his hands in the air and stalked about in a small circle.
Char peered closely at the writing. "Calm down, it doesn't say balrog you illiterate Elf. It says bathrobe!" She shoved the paper back into his hands and he stared at it.
"Well, the letters were smudged! *That* was your doing. If you hadn't dropped it into that puddle..." he didn't get to finish his sentence.
"My, my, look Rumil. The scavenger hunt only began five minutes ago and they're fighting already." Orophin stared at Char. "My goodness, look at the filth you've collected already. Was wearable berry juice one of your items?"
Haldir straightened, as he stuffed their list back into his pouch, and cast an annoyed glanced at both of his brothers. "What do you want?" he snapped.
Rumil circled and came up behind him, draping an arm onto his shoulders. "Temper, brother. We were merely passing this way and was wondering what all the commotion was about, that's all. So... what is on your list?" He immediately removed his hand at the look he received for that.
"Come on, Rumil, we'd find more cheer at an Orc party right now. Let us carry on with our quest. We can watch these two arrive from the finish line." Within moments they were gone.
Once the rather paranoid Haldir was sure they were gone, he took out the list again and scrutinized it. Once more he went pale.
Char smacked him on the arm. "It says bathrobe!"
He clenched his fist and a peeved look was sent in her direction. "I know what it says! Apparently you missed *whose* bathrobe it is."
She shrugged. "Well, whose?"
He shook his head. "I'm not doing it! No way!"
"Whose?"
"The Lady Galadriel's. There's no way. That would be stealing."
Char grabbed his hand and began pulling him behind her. "So, what was it when we took Elrond's harp?"
"That was just borrowing. We needed to cross it off our list."
"Well, that's what this is. Discussion over."
~*~*~*~
"I feel like an intruder," Haldir quietly muttered, as he glanced about his Lord and Lady's bathroom.
He received a hard kick from behind. "That's because you are one! Will you get in and help me?!?"
Remembering the task at hand, Haldir pulled himself the rest of the way through the window and turned to pull Char in as well, as she precariously clung to a branch.
Once both were inside, he nervously glanced around. "Just grab it and let's go."
"Me? I don't live around here, buddy! I have no idea which one is hers."
He stared at her for a moment before hastily moving past her to grab a light blue robe out of a small row of robes in various colors. He began stuffing it into the bag he slung off his back, as he headed for the window.
"Are you sure that's hers?"
"Yes!" He sharply snapped the flaps closed as he ducked out the window.
"I want Orophin or Rumil for a partner next time," she mumbled to herself as she followed him out.
~*~*~*~
They ran into Merry and Pippin next. Quite literally. Or rather, Merry and Pippin ran into them. They had come barreling around a corner and neither Char or Haldir had time to move out of the way. They went down in a flurry of limbs.
"Get off me!"
"Who's that?"
"That's Haldir!"
"Who are you?"
"Ugh... Charlene!"
"Hobbits!"
They managed to disentangle themselves only to find a very angry-looking, flush-faced Haldir glaring at them all with his hair very much out of place. Merry ducked down to snatch something up off the ground while Pippin inched forward and began brushing dirt and twigs off Haldir.
The Elf stared down at him for a moment before waving him away. He then grabbed Char's hand and headed off with her in tow.
"Something tells me they were just in Aragorn's room."
"Why do you say that?"
"Well... they had his really nice, leather, arm guards... Merry picked them up before you dragged me off. Ow! Hey, stop!"
"Why?"
"Well, you're hurting me for one thing, but if you want to walk around like some beauty pageant contestant who tripped on her dress that's fine and dandy with me."
He pulled up short. "I am not wearing a dress and I didn't trip! I got run over by two senseless, pint-size troublemakers!"
"Oh, that wasn't very nice. They're guests."
"They're troublemakers!" He turned to stare down at her.
Putting her hands on her hips, Char stared right back at him. "Guests!"
"Troublemakers!"
"Guests!" She stomped her foot to make her point. Unfortunately, she made it on top of Haldir's foot.
"Ow!" He hopped around for a few seconds with a grimace on his face while she watched, rather amused.
Giggles erupted behind them.
"Would you like kingsfoil for that, Haldir? It may make it feel better."
Haldir gave a stiff nod of greeting. "No, thank you, Aragorn. I am fine."
"Well, how about some ale, then? We each travel with a woman. I think it should be a requirement that we have a flask or two," Aragorn said in a mock whisper of secrecy.
He received an elbow from the woman beside him and a scowl from the one beside Haldir.
"My Lord, how dare you mock us! Where would you be without us?" Arwen's gaze did not lighten.
"Finished with this pointless game already," muttered Haldir.
"Excuse me?" Char eyed him dangerously. "If it weren't for me you wouldn't even have attempted to get Gala... mmph!" Haldir clamped a hand over her mouth.
"Uh, pardon us. We must continue with our exploration while the festivities are still going on."
Once they were out of earshot, Arwen said, "Well, she was more or less the picture of perfection but dear Haldir looks like he's been romping about as if he were a child again."
Aragorn laughed. "Come, let us find the next item on our list."
"Which is?"
He glanced down at the list in his hand and smiled. "Haldir's bow."
"Oh, the Valar be on our side if he sees us with that. Sounds like fun. Let's go!"
~*~*~*~
"Oh, bloody hell! Stop!" Char yanked on Haldir's arm.
"What is now?"
She grabbed him by the tunic and dragged him close enough that she could start smoothing down his golden hair into a more natural position. Then she took a step back as she went over her handiwork.
"Satisfied?"
"Yes. There. Much better. People will think we've been up to something."
Haldir dumbly looked at her. "Like what?"
"You really need to come in from patrol more often... maybe hit a tavern more than once a year as well."
"Why? I like being out on patrol... and I have a cache of wine at home. Why do I need to go to a tavern to get it?"
Char held up her hand. "Nevermind. What's next on the list?" She began walking in the direction they'd been going.
Haldir stared at her a bit oddly but dug into his pouch for the list. "Oh, now this really must be a joke. Sauron's Ring? It was destroyed! Honestly... some people just do not keep themselves very well informed these days."
"We'll just skip that one. What's the next?"
"A silver bell." He jogged to catch up with her.
"Easy. We can sneak into the dining room... they use one for dinner."
"Good thinking."
Suddenly, they both heard a shrill neigh behind them. They turned to see a white horse headed right for them and they dove out of the way into separate directions.
"We wouldn't have run you over."
Haldir and Char both glared up at the rider, or rather riders, on the horse.
Char stood up. "Really... and how exactly were we supposed to know that?"
"People have no manners anymore. You all go running about all over the place... don't even watch where you're going."
Legolas grinned at the unhappy Elf while Gimli let out a very amused laugh.
"It is a day for games, Haldir. Why is such a skilled Elf, for whom such a game like this should be so easy, so grumpy?" Legolas asked.
Char offered Haldir a helping hand up. "He's out of sorts due to a numbers of reasons. In no particular order: I dropped our list in a puddle, stomped on his foot, we got run over by Hobbits, and..." she cast a glance at Haldir. "And just... some other things that weren't to his liking."
"Forgive us, Master Elf, Lady Charlene, we don't mean to be rude... but we aim to be victorious in this game. We can't sit here and chatter all day."
"Aye," Legolas agreed with the dwarf.
Haldir sneered at the both of them. "Well, then good riddance. Go ride yourselves into a strong current in the river why don't you?" He turned and stalked off while Char mouthed apologies to the two puzzled friends before following after him.
"Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning or something? You get ruder and ruder. I mean you don't have to be perfect right to the letter in being nice... but, geez!"
"Look! We have only a few more items on this list to find and then we are finished. We have wasted enough time, we can only hope we are lucky enough that the other teams have been delayed as well. It, frankly, may be the only chance *we* have to win. Now, let's go!"
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